www.sandraevertson.com
10 years ago
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Victoria
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I love DIY shows. I love watching people transform the old into the new. I love watching HGTV and DIY network. I love getting ideas, planning, having the vision of what my house should and could look like. There are only two things standing the way of my house being pinned to Pinterest and being featured in Southern Living.
The first one being named Victoria. While I love the idea of DIY, the planning and envisioning the end product, I do not know how to execute the plan. I am a force to be reckoned with during the deconstruction and break down phase of home improvement. For instance at our old house, I got the vision of replacing my carpet with hardwood floors. I thought about how beautiful wood flooring would look throughout the entire front of the house, down the hall, and in the master bedroom. I picked out what I wanted by browsing the web, I measured the square footage. I rationalized that it would be cleaner, allergen free, and easy to maintain, and then one day while Jason was off at work I just decided to rip all the carpet out. By myself.... and throw it on the lawn...with the padding... and all the nails. I used a box cutter to cut around the furniture I couldn't move and voila an hour later or so, the destruction phase was complete. The carpet was gone replaced by the vision of cheap sub flooring and 1970's gold and brown linoleum which was a little surprise I wasn't really expecting and come to find out neither was Jason when he came home. He also wasn't expecting all the carpet gone and laying the front yard...in pieces. Which brings me to the second thing standing in the way of my DIY dreams. Jason.
Jason does not share my vision of home improvement. He is happy with the house looking normal and plain. While I am the dreamer, he is the realist. He is the one who reminds me of budget and the work involved. I like to plan it, but he is the one that has to build it. I demolish, but he has to reconstruct, and he isn't a big fan of that partnership. When I ripped out the carpet, he about had a heart attack because I didn't know that 3 or 4 dollars a square foot would translate into 1000 dollars when we laid it down. I didn't know about things like molding strips and dividers and special saws to cut it. I didn't know about backing and leveling sub floor. I didn't know that 1970's linoleum has asbestos and that it has to be professionally removed by a hazmat team or that it was glued to the sub floor. Three months later after living basically on corkboard and bad linoleum, I finally had wood flooring- laminate wood flooring because that was all the budget could cover on the spur of the moment. Jason had to work overtime to pay for it and my Dad and him rebuilt the sub floor, removed all the carpet fragments and laid all the new floor down themselves. In my defense I cooked for them and made the tea, and I was a great cheerleader of how well they were doing and bragged endlessly on how nice it looked afterward- so see it all worked out in the end ( o.k. kind of)
This is what brings me to today's DIY disaster. I am choosing to blame Pinterest because let's face it, we live in an age of blame and it isn't really my fault that Pinterest made refinishing your bathroom look so easy...and cute. Why buy a new bathroom cabinet, which would be a lot of money and work, when we can just refinish the one we have? I got a vision. I had a brainstorm and this time I let Jason in on it, but it didn't help, or change the outcome. He said it would be work, he said it would be costly, he said it was a ridiculous waste of time, but he knows that once I get the idea, it is a done deal. I ripped the cabinet apart, dismantled the doors and drawers, purchased sanding stuff, paint, primer, tape, brushes, rollers, and stain ( how much was that new cabinet again?) and now as usual, here we are a month later with a dismantled bathroom. The walls are painted, but everything else is a shambles. The cabinet has now been sanded and painted twice. Once it was antique white, but thanks to my lack of a carpentry degree, it had to be completely sanded down and started over. The frame for the mirror is not done, it had to be re- cut...twice. The contents of the drawers and cabinets are in my bedroom. The shower curtain is precariously hung in order to get us by. Jason is a testament to the saying Patience is a virtue. He hasn't said a word as I keep purchasing more paint and sand paper and tape. He patiently asks for a towel since there are no bars up to hang them on. He fishes through our bedroom looking for hairspray and deodorant and he has sanded and sanded and sanded for me since who knew that was such a hard job. Instead of an episode of BATHtastic we are an episode of Renovation Realities. We will get it done- eventually, we always do. It will look cute- eventually. I always make sure of that, but I think in the future I better stick to pinning recipes and hairstyles because Pinterest home improvement ideas just don't work in the Hartman home.
The first one being named Victoria. While I love the idea of DIY, the planning and envisioning the end product, I do not know how to execute the plan. I am a force to be reckoned with during the deconstruction and break down phase of home improvement. For instance at our old house, I got the vision of replacing my carpet with hardwood floors. I thought about how beautiful wood flooring would look throughout the entire front of the house, down the hall, and in the master bedroom. I picked out what I wanted by browsing the web, I measured the square footage. I rationalized that it would be cleaner, allergen free, and easy to maintain, and then one day while Jason was off at work I just decided to rip all the carpet out. By myself.... and throw it on the lawn...with the padding... and all the nails. I used a box cutter to cut around the furniture I couldn't move and voila an hour later or so, the destruction phase was complete. The carpet was gone replaced by the vision of cheap sub flooring and 1970's gold and brown linoleum which was a little surprise I wasn't really expecting and come to find out neither was Jason when he came home. He also wasn't expecting all the carpet gone and laying the front yard...in pieces. Which brings me to the second thing standing in the way of my DIY dreams. Jason.
Jason does not share my vision of home improvement. He is happy with the house looking normal and plain. While I am the dreamer, he is the realist. He is the one who reminds me of budget and the work involved. I like to plan it, but he is the one that has to build it. I demolish, but he has to reconstruct, and he isn't a big fan of that partnership. When I ripped out the carpet, he about had a heart attack because I didn't know that 3 or 4 dollars a square foot would translate into 1000 dollars when we laid it down. I didn't know about things like molding strips and dividers and special saws to cut it. I didn't know about backing and leveling sub floor. I didn't know that 1970's linoleum has asbestos and that it has to be professionally removed by a hazmat team or that it was glued to the sub floor. Three months later after living basically on corkboard and bad linoleum, I finally had wood flooring- laminate wood flooring because that was all the budget could cover on the spur of the moment. Jason had to work overtime to pay for it and my Dad and him rebuilt the sub floor, removed all the carpet fragments and laid all the new floor down themselves. In my defense I cooked for them and made the tea, and I was a great cheerleader of how well they were doing and bragged endlessly on how nice it looked afterward- so see it all worked out in the end ( o.k. kind of)
This is what brings me to today's DIY disaster. I am choosing to blame Pinterest because let's face it, we live in an age of blame and it isn't really my fault that Pinterest made refinishing your bathroom look so easy...and cute. Why buy a new bathroom cabinet, which would be a lot of money and work, when we can just refinish the one we have? I got a vision. I had a brainstorm and this time I let Jason in on it, but it didn't help, or change the outcome. He said it would be work, he said it would be costly, he said it was a ridiculous waste of time, but he knows that once I get the idea, it is a done deal. I ripped the cabinet apart, dismantled the doors and drawers, purchased sanding stuff, paint, primer, tape, brushes, rollers, and stain ( how much was that new cabinet again?) and now as usual, here we are a month later with a dismantled bathroom. The walls are painted, but everything else is a shambles. The cabinet has now been sanded and painted twice. Once it was antique white, but thanks to my lack of a carpentry degree, it had to be completely sanded down and started over. The frame for the mirror is not done, it had to be re- cut...twice. The contents of the drawers and cabinets are in my bedroom. The shower curtain is precariously hung in order to get us by. Jason is a testament to the saying Patience is a virtue. He hasn't said a word as I keep purchasing more paint and sand paper and tape. He patiently asks for a towel since there are no bars up to hang them on. He fishes through our bedroom looking for hairspray and deodorant and he has sanded and sanded and sanded for me since who knew that was such a hard job. Instead of an episode of BATHtastic we are an episode of Renovation Realities. We will get it done- eventually, we always do. It will look cute- eventually. I always make sure of that, but I think in the future I better stick to pinning recipes and hairstyles because Pinterest home improvement ideas just don't work in the Hartman home.
Posted by
Victoria
comments (0)
Summer is so filled with activity that I sometimes forget to stop and smell the roses, of course I don't literally stop and smell any flowers in the Summer because I hate bugs, but that is beside the point. I started this blog originally to record thoughts and memories for my girls to enjoy later, I need to write something. I have been thinking about what we have done this Summer and what has been going on. I have stopped and reflected and here are a few things I have learned during this Summer vacation.
I have learned that the excitement of school ending lasts about two weeks. I remember the countdown to the last day. Emma so excited about cleaning out her desk and finishing her tests. Lydia checking the calendar everyday to see when it was over and bringing home all of her folders and reading charts. I couldn't wait to sleep in and not have to pack lunches and help with homework. The anticipation of Summer was so thick in the air you could taste it and then it was here. The last hugs from teachers, the principal waving in the parking lot, the buses honking their goodbyes. Two weeks later, reality hit. The girls missed their friends. The weather was humid, hot, and miserable. Bugs buzz and bite. A lot! The realization that the only real playmate they were going to have day in and day out was the Sister they couldn't get along with for more than five minutes at a time only served to dampen the mood. As for me, I learned that whether the alarm is set or not, it isn't going to change the 7am wake up call. Once you have children the fantasy that there will ever be a time when you can sleep uninterrupted until the sun is all the way up in the sky is shattered until the teen years, if it isn't the children waking me up, it is the dog whose internal alarm is not effected by the changing of the seasons. Don't get me wrong, we are having fun. Vacation came and went in a blur, Church activities and play dates have occupied the time. Popsicle snacks and watermelon cookouts with friends and family have been fun, but I have learned that in reality we look forward to school being in as much as we do getting out. Summer could really be about a month long and we could handle it.
I have learned that my children are growing up at an alarming rate. Emma just celebrated her 9th year on this Earth and it is shocking how fast that time has flown. I looked back at photos of her in the hospital and told her the story of her birth and it seemed like yesterday. She has matured so much since last Summer. When I look at her now, I don't see the chubby cheeks, wispy hair and gap toothed grin from last year. She looks older, she acts more mature. She doesn't drag out endless toys and sing silly songs, she reads on her Kindle and sings along to One Direction. She talks on the phone and calls my Mom by herself. She paints her own toes, takes her own showers, and makes her own breakfast. She rolls her eyes and puffs like a teenager when I scold her. She still gets silly and plays with dolls. She still likes picnics and cartoons, but the transition has begun. It is scary and wonderful all at the same time. I praise her when she is independent and mature, but I cringe at the fact that she needs me less and less for the everyday things. I love that she can have a conversation on my level, but I worry about the things I have to talk about with her. Lydia is no longer the baby. She is losing teeth and making toast. She reads magazines and sings pop songs. She watches Good Luck Charlie instead of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. She is wearing clothes her Sister can still wear. Being around them all day everyday has opened my eyes to the changes that have taken place in just one school year. I am thankful for the people they are becoming but afraid of the responsibility that I now have to them, not just to care for their needs, but to shape their character and instill their values. It is more important than ever for me to be a Godly example to them and it is becoming more urgent than ever to plant Christ firmly in their hearts and minds.
I have learned that I sometimes take my husband for granted. I have seen more and more of my friends and family separating and divorcing. The older we get the more statistics catch up with us. Five years ago I only knew a couple of my friends that were split up but now I only know a couple who are still together. I take for granted sometimes how blessed I am. Jason and I are becoming one of the rare ones that are making it despite the numbers and statistics that the world throws at us almost daily. We weren't expected to make it, most people thought we wouldn't make it. When we met, we were young, we were immature, we had totally different lives. I was older, he was younger. I was working, he didn't even have a work permit. I had a new car, he didn't even have a license. I had started a career, he had started high school. I was a "good girl" who rarely broke the rules, made good grades, could count on one hand how many times I had been grounded. He was a "bad boy". He was always breaking the rules, didn't care about school, and had a reputation that worried my family and friends. Everyone thought we were crazy to think we could stay together. A betting person would not have bet on us, but God had other plans. He answers prayer and He changes lives. Here we are 20 years later. We have grown up, grown wiser and grown closer. He is a great husband and a great Father to our girls. He works so hard so I can stay home. He never complains when the house is a mess or the chores didn't get done. He never tells me I can't go anywhere and he watches the girls willingly and without complaint anytime I want or need him to. He goes to school functions, gymnastics and even Brownie outings. He has been on field trips and tea parties. He takes me shopping and takes the girls on dates. He always spends money on us first and him last. He never says anything about the way I look and tells me I am beautiful even when I am in lounging clothes and a ponytail for the 5th day this week. He still surprises me with dates, hugs and kisses me while I am cooking, holds me close when we are watching TV. He loves the Lord and always puts God and his family first. He is quiet and stays in the background and doesn't like attention, but he is my rock and he balances me in a way that no one else ever could. He has been through a lot in his life that he never talks about or shares, but he has always pushed himself to do more than he thinks he can and accomplish more than people ever expect, and he does it quietly without the need for praise. He is the strongest person I know. I have never seen him cry. Ever. (o.k. once, years and years ago, but we won't go there...just so you know, it is possible, he does have feelings, he just doesn't let them out much. He is an expert at hiding them...lol) He has held me up and held me close and when I need him most he is always there. He makes me feel safe and secure and loved. God brought us together for a reason and He has kept us together. God is the key. Love is a choice, and we have to daily choose each other. I rarely tell him thank you for all of this and I take for granted that this is the norm, but I am learning that it most definitely is not and that God has blessed me beyond measure. In the midst of Summer activity, heat and humidity and craziness, I have learned that God is faithful, time is precious and family is love and not an ounce of any of it should be taken for granted.
I have learned that the excitement of school ending lasts about two weeks. I remember the countdown to the last day. Emma so excited about cleaning out her desk and finishing her tests. Lydia checking the calendar everyday to see when it was over and bringing home all of her folders and reading charts. I couldn't wait to sleep in and not have to pack lunches and help with homework. The anticipation of Summer was so thick in the air you could taste it and then it was here. The last hugs from teachers, the principal waving in the parking lot, the buses honking their goodbyes. Two weeks later, reality hit. The girls missed their friends. The weather was humid, hot, and miserable. Bugs buzz and bite. A lot! The realization that the only real playmate they were going to have day in and day out was the Sister they couldn't get along with for more than five minutes at a time only served to dampen the mood. As for me, I learned that whether the alarm is set or not, it isn't going to change the 7am wake up call. Once you have children the fantasy that there will ever be a time when you can sleep uninterrupted until the sun is all the way up in the sky is shattered until the teen years, if it isn't the children waking me up, it is the dog whose internal alarm is not effected by the changing of the seasons. Don't get me wrong, we are having fun. Vacation came and went in a blur, Church activities and play dates have occupied the time. Popsicle snacks and watermelon cookouts with friends and family have been fun, but I have learned that in reality we look forward to school being in as much as we do getting out. Summer could really be about a month long and we could handle it.
I have learned that my children are growing up at an alarming rate. Emma just celebrated her 9th year on this Earth and it is shocking how fast that time has flown. I looked back at photos of her in the hospital and told her the story of her birth and it seemed like yesterday. She has matured so much since last Summer. When I look at her now, I don't see the chubby cheeks, wispy hair and gap toothed grin from last year. She looks older, she acts more mature. She doesn't drag out endless toys and sing silly songs, she reads on her Kindle and sings along to One Direction. She talks on the phone and calls my Mom by herself. She paints her own toes, takes her own showers, and makes her own breakfast. She rolls her eyes and puffs like a teenager when I scold her. She still gets silly and plays with dolls. She still likes picnics and cartoons, but the transition has begun. It is scary and wonderful all at the same time. I praise her when she is independent and mature, but I cringe at the fact that she needs me less and less for the everyday things. I love that she can have a conversation on my level, but I worry about the things I have to talk about with her. Lydia is no longer the baby. She is losing teeth and making toast. She reads magazines and sings pop songs. She watches Good Luck Charlie instead of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. She is wearing clothes her Sister can still wear. Being around them all day everyday has opened my eyes to the changes that have taken place in just one school year. I am thankful for the people they are becoming but afraid of the responsibility that I now have to them, not just to care for their needs, but to shape their character and instill their values. It is more important than ever for me to be a Godly example to them and it is becoming more urgent than ever to plant Christ firmly in their hearts and minds.
I have learned that I sometimes take my husband for granted. I have seen more and more of my friends and family separating and divorcing. The older we get the more statistics catch up with us. Five years ago I only knew a couple of my friends that were split up but now I only know a couple who are still together. I take for granted sometimes how blessed I am. Jason and I are becoming one of the rare ones that are making it despite the numbers and statistics that the world throws at us almost daily. We weren't expected to make it, most people thought we wouldn't make it. When we met, we were young, we were immature, we had totally different lives. I was older, he was younger. I was working, he didn't even have a work permit. I had a new car, he didn't even have a license. I had started a career, he had started high school. I was a "good girl" who rarely broke the rules, made good grades, could count on one hand how many times I had been grounded. He was a "bad boy". He was always breaking the rules, didn't care about school, and had a reputation that worried my family and friends. Everyone thought we were crazy to think we could stay together. A betting person would not have bet on us, but God had other plans. He answers prayer and He changes lives. Here we are 20 years later. We have grown up, grown wiser and grown closer. He is a great husband and a great Father to our girls. He works so hard so I can stay home. He never complains when the house is a mess or the chores didn't get done. He never tells me I can't go anywhere and he watches the girls willingly and without complaint anytime I want or need him to. He goes to school functions, gymnastics and even Brownie outings. He has been on field trips and tea parties. He takes me shopping and takes the girls on dates. He always spends money on us first and him last. He never says anything about the way I look and tells me I am beautiful even when I am in lounging clothes and a ponytail for the 5th day this week. He still surprises me with dates, hugs and kisses me while I am cooking, holds me close when we are watching TV. He loves the Lord and always puts God and his family first. He is quiet and stays in the background and doesn't like attention, but he is my rock and he balances me in a way that no one else ever could. He has been through a lot in his life that he never talks about or shares, but he has always pushed himself to do more than he thinks he can and accomplish more than people ever expect, and he does it quietly without the need for praise. He is the strongest person I know. I have never seen him cry. Ever. (o.k. once, years and years ago, but we won't go there...just so you know, it is possible, he does have feelings, he just doesn't let them out much. He is an expert at hiding them...lol) He has held me up and held me close and when I need him most he is always there. He makes me feel safe and secure and loved. God brought us together for a reason and He has kept us together. God is the key. Love is a choice, and we have to daily choose each other. I rarely tell him thank you for all of this and I take for granted that this is the norm, but I am learning that it most definitely is not and that God has blessed me beyond measure. In the midst of Summer activity, heat and humidity and craziness, I have learned that God is faithful, time is precious and family is love and not an ounce of any of it should be taken for granted.
Posted by
Victoria
comments (0)
Sometimes the strangest things get me thinking and analyzing my life. This week all it took was a simple statement by my youngest daughter " I am glad that you and Daddy never fight." My first thought was Yes, we do! but after I thought for a minute, I realized that while we do disagree and we have days where we are grumpy with each other, she is right, she probably hasn't ever seen us "fight" ( and by fight I mean argue, not physically fight!), and that made me unhappy. I know it sounds crazy, but I have really thought about that a lot this week. Why? Because I don't want my children to live in the fantasy that every marriage is perfect and that we always get along. How will they know how to deal with conflict and how will they know that things can and do get worked out? The world we live in teaches that if you're unhappy or you can't agree just split up and move on. Our world teaches that love is a feeling and that it should come easy and you shouldn't have to work to maintain it. Divorce is a 50/50 thing. The world teaches that it is easier to cut your losses and move on than it is to work for it, fight for it, change. I truly believe that sometimes divorce is the only option, and that it is the only answer in some cases. I want my girls to know that they should not tolerate abuse. EVER! Either physical, mental or verbal. I want them to know that in some cases there is no other answer but to part ways, but for the day to day stuff, the I don't think I like you right now stuff, I want my girls to know that it can be done. That just because you disagree or just because you raise your voice doesn't mean that it is over. This is what bothered me about her statement, I need them to know that life is not all roses and sweetness, and that there will be arguments, there will be disagreements, there will be days when love requires work and solutions mean compromise. I want them to know that just because you don't like someone right this minute doesn't mean that you don't love them. forever.
Jason and I have been together for a long time. In a sense, we have grown up together, and it has not always been easy. We dated five years before we got married. I came from a family that worked things out, my parents have always been married. I saw them fight occasionally. I saw them yell and fuss. I remember my Mom telling me that it was healthy to "clear the air" once in a while and that it was good to "let things out". I also remember them always working it out, not always easy, not always the way each of them would like, but always together. Jason, not quite the same upbringing. He saw lots of things too, but not always good things. His household was the complete opposite of mine. When we were dating, he had a quick temper, and I had a quick mouth. I knew he had a hard time controlling his temper, and yet I would push him right to the limit. I was hard headed and stubborn and rarely said I was sorry. He would throw things and punch things, but thank God he was always able to know when to leave, walk away and cool down, most of the time no thanks to me. I would get pulled into his temper and that made for some crazy moments that aren't worth sharing. We struggled through a lot of issues that he was dealing with and a lot of mess we brought on ourselves, but we made it and I decided that I would make changes before we got married, and we did... kind of.
When we got married, neither of us had ever lived out on our own. We had never had to manage finances or run a home. I came from a fairly strict household, with rules and curfews and expectations. He came from a household where he had done exactly what he wanted for a long time, no rules, no curfews, no expectations. It took a while for us to figure out a balance in those two things, and while we didn't argue near as much after we were married, we still had lots of things to work out. Our fights took on a different tone. I discovered that even when we don't choose to blame our upbringing for our weaknesses and even if we strive to rise above family issues, the reality is our upbringing shapes who we are, and with that can come a lot of things that shape our thoughts and our ideas. Our experiences and our parent's examples are ingrained in us and become a part of us, both the good and the bad. I really think that Jason believed every time we disagreed that I was leaving. He would act surprised to come home and still find a household and a wife there. I think he had low expectations for a lasting marriage. I think I believed that I was always right and that I was going to make him see things my way at any cost, and that he had seen what not to do, so he should just know what he should do. I think I had too many expectations for a lasting marriage. I needed to remember what I had been taught and how my parents worked out their problems. I needed to remember how they "cleared the air", how they prayed, how they chose to love, even when it was hard.
Life really changed for me when someone gave me the book The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie O'Martian. I read that book reluctantly, but it completely changed the way I thought. The book teaches you how to pray for your husband, not just a passing prayer, but how to pray over every part of him, from the little mundane things to the deep inner parts. I began to practice the lessons in that book. I prayed for him like never before. I realized through that process that I am only responsible to change me. I can pray for him, but I can only change me. I began to pray that God would open my eyes to what I needed to change about myself. I learned that love is not just a feeling, love is a choice, love is work! Hard work sometimes, but with the work and through the choice comes the feeling. The feeling of love is the product of all the work. JOY- Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last. I needed to put God at the beginning, Jason next and myself last. I needed to practice in my heart what I knew in my head.
Now here we are, and according to Lydia's statement, we have come a long way. Jason and I know each other, inside and out. We know how each other works, we know what our strengths are and what are weaknesses are. She is right, we hardly ever really argue. He still has things that he struggles with and I still have things I struggle with. We still have things that we disagree about and little things that annoy us about each other at times, but we are older and wiser... and tired. We have learned to put God first and each other second. We have learned to pray through our troubles. I have learned that it is o.k. to be humble, say I am sorry, close my mouth. Jason has learned that it is possible to simply clear the air, let it out and move on. Love doesn't have to mean war. Marriage can be fun and happy, and yes, you can "feel" love, everyday and forever. I want my girls to see that lesson as well. I want them to see us disagree, raise our voices, and show weakness. They need to see their Mommy cry ( every now and then) so that they know it will be o.k., it isn't the end. They need to see us pray and say I am Sorry and ask forgiveness and compromise. They need to see that there are healthy ways to disagree, that everyone has bad days and everyone gets angry sometimes, but it is about talking, working it out, and moving on. They need to see what real love looks like, both the good and the bad. Every problem does not have to lead to divorce, sometimes you just have to clear the air to find fresh love!
Jason and I have been together for a long time. In a sense, we have grown up together, and it has not always been easy. We dated five years before we got married. I came from a family that worked things out, my parents have always been married. I saw them fight occasionally. I saw them yell and fuss. I remember my Mom telling me that it was healthy to "clear the air" once in a while and that it was good to "let things out". I also remember them always working it out, not always easy, not always the way each of them would like, but always together. Jason, not quite the same upbringing. He saw lots of things too, but not always good things. His household was the complete opposite of mine. When we were dating, he had a quick temper, and I had a quick mouth. I knew he had a hard time controlling his temper, and yet I would push him right to the limit. I was hard headed and stubborn and rarely said I was sorry. He would throw things and punch things, but thank God he was always able to know when to leave, walk away and cool down, most of the time no thanks to me. I would get pulled into his temper and that made for some crazy moments that aren't worth sharing. We struggled through a lot of issues that he was dealing with and a lot of mess we brought on ourselves, but we made it and I decided that I would make changes before we got married, and we did... kind of.
When we got married, neither of us had ever lived out on our own. We had never had to manage finances or run a home. I came from a fairly strict household, with rules and curfews and expectations. He came from a household where he had done exactly what he wanted for a long time, no rules, no curfews, no expectations. It took a while for us to figure out a balance in those two things, and while we didn't argue near as much after we were married, we still had lots of things to work out. Our fights took on a different tone. I discovered that even when we don't choose to blame our upbringing for our weaknesses and even if we strive to rise above family issues, the reality is our upbringing shapes who we are, and with that can come a lot of things that shape our thoughts and our ideas. Our experiences and our parent's examples are ingrained in us and become a part of us, both the good and the bad. I really think that Jason believed every time we disagreed that I was leaving. He would act surprised to come home and still find a household and a wife there. I think he had low expectations for a lasting marriage. I think I believed that I was always right and that I was going to make him see things my way at any cost, and that he had seen what not to do, so he should just know what he should do. I think I had too many expectations for a lasting marriage. I needed to remember what I had been taught and how my parents worked out their problems. I needed to remember how they "cleared the air", how they prayed, how they chose to love, even when it was hard.
Life really changed for me when someone gave me the book The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie O'Martian. I read that book reluctantly, but it completely changed the way I thought. The book teaches you how to pray for your husband, not just a passing prayer, but how to pray over every part of him, from the little mundane things to the deep inner parts. I began to practice the lessons in that book. I prayed for him like never before. I realized through that process that I am only responsible to change me. I can pray for him, but I can only change me. I began to pray that God would open my eyes to what I needed to change about myself. I learned that love is not just a feeling, love is a choice, love is work! Hard work sometimes, but with the work and through the choice comes the feeling. The feeling of love is the product of all the work. JOY- Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last. I needed to put God at the beginning, Jason next and myself last. I needed to practice in my heart what I knew in my head.
Now here we are, and according to Lydia's statement, we have come a long way. Jason and I know each other, inside and out. We know how each other works, we know what our strengths are and what are weaknesses are. She is right, we hardly ever really argue. He still has things that he struggles with and I still have things I struggle with. We still have things that we disagree about and little things that annoy us about each other at times, but we are older and wiser... and tired. We have learned to put God first and each other second. We have learned to pray through our troubles. I have learned that it is o.k. to be humble, say I am sorry, close my mouth. Jason has learned that it is possible to simply clear the air, let it out and move on. Love doesn't have to mean war. Marriage can be fun and happy, and yes, you can "feel" love, everyday and forever. I want my girls to see that lesson as well. I want them to see us disagree, raise our voices, and show weakness. They need to see their Mommy cry ( every now and then) so that they know it will be o.k., it isn't the end. They need to see us pray and say I am Sorry and ask forgiveness and compromise. They need to see that there are healthy ways to disagree, that everyone has bad days and everyone gets angry sometimes, but it is about talking, working it out, and moving on. They need to see what real love looks like, both the good and the bad. Every problem does not have to lead to divorce, sometimes you just have to clear the air to find fresh love!
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Victoria
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I always intended to have children while I was young. My Mom had me when she was 30 after years of trying and for the early 70's that was considered old for having a baby. All of her friends had teenagers when I was still in elementary school. There were very few children among my parent's circle of friends that were even close to my age. My cousins were so much older than me I called them uncle. I always said I wanted to be a young Mom. When Jason and I got married, I had just turned 23 and he was only a couple of months into being 20 so it appeared my plan for being a young Mom was right on track. We waited for a few months and then I decided to go off of birth control and what would be, would be. I never dreamed that what would be would take 8 more years, but God's plan is sometimes not our plan. As the years went by I watched my friends having babies, I watched my clients having babies, I watched children I babysat having babies. I got tired of people asking when we were going to have one of our own. The doctors didn't know why I wasn't pregnant, they had theories, but they had no evidence to back them up. Everything tested fine, everything appeared fine. Just nothing. I was offered fertility options, but was nervous of the side effects, unsure if they were safe, afraid of outcomes like I saw on TV. I did not want to be pregnant with multiples. I prayed about it and we decided that if God saw fit to bless us then great, but if not, then that was His plan. We looked into adoption, we looked into Foster care, we began to save money for overseas adoption. The years continued to tick by....
God's ways are not our ways and His plans are not our plans. 8 years later and the unexpected happened, I became pregnant. I was so shocked that when the Doctor told me it was true I still didn't believe him. I thought it was a mistake. I took the whole box of pregnancy tests- all three of them and still didn't believe it. "Miracles do happen", those were the words of my Doctor, who called it a fluke, after I miscarried the first pregnancy at 14 weeks and became pregnant again just three and a half months later. They had no explanation, they didn't even have a theory for that one. Now here we are 8 years and two beautiful healthy daughters later, and I am still amazed by the timing of God. I am my Mother's daughter, I followed in her footsteps in so many ways including having my children in my 30's. I never would have imagined it, I never would have planned it, but it has become the biggest blessing that God has given me. Thanks to those 8 years without children, Jason and I were able to grow up together, without the stress of raising children. We traveled, we furnished our home, we bought a house. Jason had moved up in his company to the point that he could support us without my income. We had 8 years to bond and live and grow closer and closer to each other, and I would not trade that time for anything. Yes, I am more tired than my friend's who have endless amounts of energy for their little ones. I sometimes think I am not as laid back because of my age. I have gray streaks instead of fun blue and pink streaks, and I am not current on pop culture. I don't text or have an Iphone. I sometimes feel old when I see friend I grew up with children heading out to college and driving and graduating high school while I am buying a little mini cap and gown to watch mine graduate Kindergarten. All those things my Mom struggled through as a Mom are now my struggles as well, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
I think there are advantages to being an older Mom. I think about the views I had and the life I lived when I was in my 20's and I know that I would not have the children I have today if I would have raised them then. I am closer to God now than ever before and I understand what values and morals I want to instill in them. Jason and I have changed so much in the last decade, we understand each other, our love is so much deeper. We are more mellow, we are faster to love and slower to fight. We have worked out our differences and we are more one now than ever before which helps us be better parents. I appreciate the little moments more as an older Mom. I had to be patient and go through a lot to have them and I don't want to take a single moment for granted. God's timing is perfect and He knew when we would should be parents even before we did and I am thankful for His Grace and His mercy and His perfect planning. Mother's Day was a wonderful reminder of just how far He has brought us and how much He has blessed us and I wouldn't trade a single minute of it, even if I am one of the oldest Moms in the kindergarten PTO.
God's ways are not our ways and His plans are not our plans. 8 years later and the unexpected happened, I became pregnant. I was so shocked that when the Doctor told me it was true I still didn't believe him. I thought it was a mistake. I took the whole box of pregnancy tests- all three of them and still didn't believe it. "Miracles do happen", those were the words of my Doctor, who called it a fluke, after I miscarried the first pregnancy at 14 weeks and became pregnant again just three and a half months later. They had no explanation, they didn't even have a theory for that one. Now here we are 8 years and two beautiful healthy daughters later, and I am still amazed by the timing of God. I am my Mother's daughter, I followed in her footsteps in so many ways including having my children in my 30's. I never would have imagined it, I never would have planned it, but it has become the biggest blessing that God has given me. Thanks to those 8 years without children, Jason and I were able to grow up together, without the stress of raising children. We traveled, we furnished our home, we bought a house. Jason had moved up in his company to the point that he could support us without my income. We had 8 years to bond and live and grow closer and closer to each other, and I would not trade that time for anything. Yes, I am more tired than my friend's who have endless amounts of energy for their little ones. I sometimes think I am not as laid back because of my age. I have gray streaks instead of fun blue and pink streaks, and I am not current on pop culture. I don't text or have an Iphone. I sometimes feel old when I see friend I grew up with children heading out to college and driving and graduating high school while I am buying a little mini cap and gown to watch mine graduate Kindergarten. All those things my Mom struggled through as a Mom are now my struggles as well, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
I think there are advantages to being an older Mom. I think about the views I had and the life I lived when I was in my 20's and I know that I would not have the children I have today if I would have raised them then. I am closer to God now than ever before and I understand what values and morals I want to instill in them. Jason and I have changed so much in the last decade, we understand each other, our love is so much deeper. We are more mellow, we are faster to love and slower to fight. We have worked out our differences and we are more one now than ever before which helps us be better parents. I appreciate the little moments more as an older Mom. I had to be patient and go through a lot to have them and I don't want to take a single moment for granted. God's timing is perfect and He knew when we would should be parents even before we did and I am thankful for His Grace and His mercy and His perfect planning. Mother's Day was a wonderful reminder of just how far He has brought us and how much He has blessed us and I wouldn't trade a single minute of it, even if I am one of the oldest Moms in the kindergarten PTO.
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Victoria
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Rain, rain go away... as I look out the window at another gray, foggy, drippy day I am reminded that April showers are supposed to bring May flowers, although right now they only seem to be bringing mud, weeds and mold. I am not a Spring girl, I am a Fall/Winter girl. I like fuzzy clothes, warm blankets, big coats, hot cider, the smell of wood smoke in the air. I do not like mud puddles, humidity, dandelion flowers, and bugs. I have to struggle through Spring. I am not a spotless housekeeper so my Spring cleaning takes most of the season and by the time I finish, the things I started with usually need done again. I am not an experienced gardener, but living in a neighborhood with small yards and very neat neighbors insures that I do my part to keep weeds pulled, flowers pruned and mulch fresh. I have grumbled for the past several weeks about allergies, and pollen and hotness, and sweat, and then I see posts on Facebook about Cicada's...ewww! Grumble, grumble, I hate Spring, but then this morning I opened my Bible randomly (which I do sometimes) just let it open to a page and began to read...
Song of Solomon 2: 11-13
See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land. The fig tree forms its early fruit; the blossoming vines spread their fragrance. Arise, come, my darling; my beautiful one, come with me.”
Yes, God has His own ways of speaking to us if we are listening, don't ever doubt that He works in mysterious ways. I am not sure I have ever even really read Song of Solomon...ever! When I read this passage I got the most beautiful picture in my head of birds chirping and trees blooming out and of course it is hard to grumble at a love story... God created seasons and He did it for a reason, everything has a purpose. God is intentional. Instead of complaining and counting down the weeks until what I like comes back around, I need to focus on what God wants me to see right now, in this season. I need to learn to love Spring.
North Carolina has four very distinct seasons. We are lucky to live in a place that experiences each season separately. Living in the mountains, they are even more unique and I have learned to appreciate Spring a little more since living here. There is a reason that Winter is not the peak tourist season in the NC mountain region. Yes, the mountains are beautiful when they are covered in a bright white, pure, snowfall and you are skiing down the slopes, but just day to day Winter without the blanket of white is drab to say the least. The mountains loom up all around you into the horizon, dark and gray. The wind is brutal and the cold is never ending. The fog is daily, it rolls in like a blanket at night and hangs out until mid-morning, everyday! Gray and thick. The trees are barren and all of a sudden you see houses and shacks and caves that you never knew were there. ( the old saying the hills have eyes is true, you don't know all the people hiding in the hills until the leaves drop off the trees) The roads are covered in salt and sand, the rocks are wet and dripping and everything is dead, which makes the switch to Spring that much more amazing. Just in the last couple of weeks, the flowers have bloomed out, the trees are covered in blossoms and birds are everywhere. There are lots of flowering trees in the mountains, purple and white, dogwoods and cherry. We wake up to a constant chirping song, birds are everywhere. The mountains begin to fill out and become lush and green again. The girls begin to bring me beautiful purple blossoms and it is even hard to grumble about the Dandelions I hate when they are being tucked behind my ear with a kiss on the cheek from one of my girls. I love to plant vegetables and fruit so Spring comes with the smell of fresh tilled earth and the promise of homegrown food on our table and grill. Warm weather means trips to the park and picnics in the grass, rocking on the front porch and neighbors waving Hi and stopping to chat. Here in the south, warm weather brings out flip flops and jugs of sweet tea, it means a time of refreshing... "He makes all things new". God uses Spring to remind me that after the dead of Winter comes the newness of life. The girls marvel at the newborn calves at the farm on the way to school and try and peek into the nests that pop up in our trees. Even on a rainy day like today I am reminded that life moves on and springs forth, that all things are fresh again. In the midst of chaos and the evil of sin and death that surround us on this Earth, God reminds me that in Him all things are made new, His love never fails, and with new life and a new season, comes hope!
Song of Solomon 2: 11-13
See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land. The fig tree forms its early fruit; the blossoming vines spread their fragrance. Arise, come, my darling; my beautiful one, come with me.”
Yes, God has His own ways of speaking to us if we are listening, don't ever doubt that He works in mysterious ways. I am not sure I have ever even really read Song of Solomon...ever! When I read this passage I got the most beautiful picture in my head of birds chirping and trees blooming out and of course it is hard to grumble at a love story... God created seasons and He did it for a reason, everything has a purpose. God is intentional. Instead of complaining and counting down the weeks until what I like comes back around, I need to focus on what God wants me to see right now, in this season. I need to learn to love Spring.
North Carolina has four very distinct seasons. We are lucky to live in a place that experiences each season separately. Living in the mountains, they are even more unique and I have learned to appreciate Spring a little more since living here. There is a reason that Winter is not the peak tourist season in the NC mountain region. Yes, the mountains are beautiful when they are covered in a bright white, pure, snowfall and you are skiing down the slopes, but just day to day Winter without the blanket of white is drab to say the least. The mountains loom up all around you into the horizon, dark and gray. The wind is brutal and the cold is never ending. The fog is daily, it rolls in like a blanket at night and hangs out until mid-morning, everyday! Gray and thick. The trees are barren and all of a sudden you see houses and shacks and caves that you never knew were there. ( the old saying the hills have eyes is true, you don't know all the people hiding in the hills until the leaves drop off the trees) The roads are covered in salt and sand, the rocks are wet and dripping and everything is dead, which makes the switch to Spring that much more amazing. Just in the last couple of weeks, the flowers have bloomed out, the trees are covered in blossoms and birds are everywhere. There are lots of flowering trees in the mountains, purple and white, dogwoods and cherry. We wake up to a constant chirping song, birds are everywhere. The mountains begin to fill out and become lush and green again. The girls begin to bring me beautiful purple blossoms and it is even hard to grumble about the Dandelions I hate when they are being tucked behind my ear with a kiss on the cheek from one of my girls. I love to plant vegetables and fruit so Spring comes with the smell of fresh tilled earth and the promise of homegrown food on our table and grill. Warm weather means trips to the park and picnics in the grass, rocking on the front porch and neighbors waving Hi and stopping to chat. Here in the south, warm weather brings out flip flops and jugs of sweet tea, it means a time of refreshing... "He makes all things new". God uses Spring to remind me that after the dead of Winter comes the newness of life. The girls marvel at the newborn calves at the farm on the way to school and try and peek into the nests that pop up in our trees. Even on a rainy day like today I am reminded that life moves on and springs forth, that all things are fresh again. In the midst of chaos and the evil of sin and death that surround us on this Earth, God reminds me that in Him all things are made new, His love never fails, and with new life and a new season, comes hope!
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Victoria
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I can't believe that Easter is almost here. This month has flown by in so many ways. We had some great Spring weather, flowers blooming, garden started and a trip to the park and then typical of NC, Winter returned and after watching snow flurries float by the window all day yesterday and today sitting here with my space heater on, I have decided that although I am a Winter girl, I am ready for a return of Spring... it is COLD! I have been off of Facebook now for an entire month, which is the longest time I have been away from it since I signed up 5 or 6 years ago. I thought I would miss it more, but I really haven't. My Goodreads account and my blog are tied in so anytime I post from here or on books that I read on Goodreads, it should show up over on my Facebook page, so I apologize if I have bored you to death with book reviews and reading blogs, I don't know how to turn that off. Since I haven't updated family or friends much about what has been going on with us I decided to just use this post to update whoever is interested on our random happenings this past couple of weeks, so here are some updates from the Hartman home...
-Emma prayed to receive Christ as her savior last week, she was so sweet and said God spoke to her and told her to let Him in and be her Lord. She is being baptised on Easter Sunday and we could not be happier for her. I will try to make a video or photo to show all of our away family this special time. I thank God for answered prayer and hope I can live up to my responsibility as a parent and raise her in the way He would have her to go.
-The other day Emma tells Lydia that she would never get in a fight unless it was a boy trying to kiss her or touch her, then she would punch him right in the face. She said Daddy had given her permission and she wouldn't be in trouble for punching a boy who was trying to kiss her. She also said she passed this info onto a boy in her class who said he was going to chase her across the playground. Said boy is no longer a threat...lol! (* note to self- talk to Jason about not promoting physical violence during recess, and remind him of those times he spent in detention because while it has been a while, he seems to have forgotten that in school- yes, you do get in trouble for fighting.)
- Flax seed is a miracle ingredient when watching cholesterol, I have made homemade noodles, biscuits and cornbread with little to no cholesterol by replacing eggs and oil with it, it is my new best friend in the fight for health.
- Emma was upset last week when she made her first B and lost her straight A honor roll status.. I wish I would have cared as much as she does when I was in school- she is definitely a type A personality and she doesn't get it from her slacker, procrastinating parents.
-Lydia is playing T-ball again this year, she is the only girl on the team, but doesn't seem to care.
- Zulilly is not just for children, I got a pair of Zumba shoes for half price. Now if I could just buy some talent I would be set.
- Jason is finishing up another semester of school soon and has to pick an elective to take over the Summer... it was a close call between Philosophy and Public Speaking, but I think he finally decided on Art.... ( I don't even know how to make the little face that should be inserted here..ha!).... this should be an interesting Summer. Emma was excited because she takes Art camp at the college in the Summer and said they could go together :)
Since everyone on Facebook has seen my Goodreads activity, I thought I should say something about books. I read...a lot... as you have probably guessed. I have a lot of Christian friends who only read Christian books and a couple of them have asked me about my reading selections so here are my reading habits. Yes, I do read Christian literature, but rarely add those books in on Goodreads because I consider Goodreads to be entertainment. I shop the Family Book Store as much as Amazon. I read from lots of different genre's but mostly right now I like YA Fiction because they are quick and easy reads, very character driven and easy to follow, which with my limited time and child interruptions, works well for me. I read completely for entertainment and not really for deep literary focus, spiritual enlightenment or self-help. I do tend to stick to a PG-13 rating, I don't like books with lots of language, sex or explicit content ( another reason I like YA) I do read some paranormal and fantasy stories, but I don't like books about Zombies, witches, or "real" vampires ( I don't consider Twilight to be real vampires) Some books I read are free because I belong to an Author Read to Review group that allows me to get free books gifted for review, these books I don't particularly choose although I can decline them, and I read books for a book club I belong to here in town. I do not choose these either, I just read the selection for the month. Soooo... keep these things in mind when you see books pop up and think " she is reading that?" If you have any recommendations for me, I love to hear about what other people read and get new Authors to check out.
As you can see, our lives are just as exciting as ever and we are still the wild party animals you all know and love :)
I hope everyone has a fabulous Holy Week, enjoys time with their family and friends and spends some time thinking about the Sacrifice Christ made just for you because He loves you, Thank the Lord for He is good, His love endures forever! Happy Easter!
-Emma prayed to receive Christ as her savior last week, she was so sweet and said God spoke to her and told her to let Him in and be her Lord. She is being baptised on Easter Sunday and we could not be happier for her. I will try to make a video or photo to show all of our away family this special time. I thank God for answered prayer and hope I can live up to my responsibility as a parent and raise her in the way He would have her to go.
-The other day Emma tells Lydia that she would never get in a fight unless it was a boy trying to kiss her or touch her, then she would punch him right in the face. She said Daddy had given her permission and she wouldn't be in trouble for punching a boy who was trying to kiss her. She also said she passed this info onto a boy in her class who said he was going to chase her across the playground. Said boy is no longer a threat...lol! (* note to self- talk to Jason about not promoting physical violence during recess, and remind him of those times he spent in detention because while it has been a while, he seems to have forgotten that in school- yes, you do get in trouble for fighting.)
- Flax seed is a miracle ingredient when watching cholesterol, I have made homemade noodles, biscuits and cornbread with little to no cholesterol by replacing eggs and oil with it, it is my new best friend in the fight for health.
- Emma was upset last week when she made her first B and lost her straight A honor roll status.. I wish I would have cared as much as she does when I was in school- she is definitely a type A personality and she doesn't get it from her slacker, procrastinating parents.
-Lydia is playing T-ball again this year, she is the only girl on the team, but doesn't seem to care.
- Zulilly is not just for children, I got a pair of Zumba shoes for half price. Now if I could just buy some talent I would be set.
- Jason is finishing up another semester of school soon and has to pick an elective to take over the Summer... it was a close call between Philosophy and Public Speaking, but I think he finally decided on Art.... ( I don't even know how to make the little face that should be inserted here..ha!).... this should be an interesting Summer. Emma was excited because she takes Art camp at the college in the Summer and said they could go together :)
Since everyone on Facebook has seen my Goodreads activity, I thought I should say something about books. I read...a lot... as you have probably guessed. I have a lot of Christian friends who only read Christian books and a couple of them have asked me about my reading selections so here are my reading habits. Yes, I do read Christian literature, but rarely add those books in on Goodreads because I consider Goodreads to be entertainment. I shop the Family Book Store as much as Amazon. I read from lots of different genre's but mostly right now I like YA Fiction because they are quick and easy reads, very character driven and easy to follow, which with my limited time and child interruptions, works well for me. I read completely for entertainment and not really for deep literary focus, spiritual enlightenment or self-help. I do tend to stick to a PG-13 rating, I don't like books with lots of language, sex or explicit content ( another reason I like YA) I do read some paranormal and fantasy stories, but I don't like books about Zombies, witches, or "real" vampires ( I don't consider Twilight to be real vampires) Some books I read are free because I belong to an Author Read to Review group that allows me to get free books gifted for review, these books I don't particularly choose although I can decline them, and I read books for a book club I belong to here in town. I do not choose these either, I just read the selection for the month. Soooo... keep these things in mind when you see books pop up and think " she is reading that?" If you have any recommendations for me, I love to hear about what other people read and get new Authors to check out.
As you can see, our lives are just as exciting as ever and we are still the wild party animals you all know and love :)
I hope everyone has a fabulous Holy Week, enjoys time with their family and friends and spends some time thinking about the Sacrifice Christ made just for you because He loves you, Thank the Lord for He is good, His love endures forever! Happy Easter!
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Victoria
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This year, for me, is all about changing habits. I have made changes in my spiritual habits. I have been reading my Bible and doing devotions with Jason and the girls daily. I have memorized one book of the Bible and am now working on another, I have prayed more frequently and more earnestly. I have made changes in my time management. I have been off of Facebook for a few weeks now and it has made a huge difference in my time, I have had more time to catch up on books that I am reading, crafts that I am making, garden work, planting, and more time to give to God and my family. Old habits are beginning to die out and new ones are slowly starting to form... good ones...better ones. A year of changing habits.
Now it is time to start working on the hardest habit for me to break. The habit (or lack thereof) of exercise...yes, that is right, exercise! ( I even struggled typing that out) I hate to exercise. I HATE it!!! I was always the skinny girl growing up. I was that girl...the one that never seemed to watch what she ate, the one who never played a sport, the one who only showed up to PE class to watch the guys work out. I ate Skittles and Coke for breakfast, I ate popcorn, pizza and doughnuts for lunch, and whatever for dinner. I ate fast food whenever possible, ate out everyday at work, and never did a minute of anything that would cause you to sweat or lose your breath. In fact, I am not sure I have ever really sweated...ever...at all! When I got married I wore a size 2 and for most of my life never payed attention to a scale, but all that changed when I got pregnant for the first time. I was pregnant three times in the next three years, the first one ended in miscarriage in the first weeks of my second trimester, but not before I had gained 10 pounds. The next two came two years apart and along with staying home, complications which required bed rest, and my lack of exercise and diet, they managed to bring along 20 more pounds. I have now held steady for the last 6 years, not really gaining, not really losing, just hanging out at about 20 pounds overweight.
This year Jason and I have had somewhat of a wake up call, the we are getting old and out of shape, wake up call. He went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago and found that now, not only does he still have to take high blood pressure medication, but he also has high cholesterol, and not just a little high, the "well Mr. Hartman, we will give you 3 months to bring it down or you will have to go on medication" kind of high. He is younger than me, 3 years younger than me, and we eat the same things. He eats what I cook, we eat out together, and we don't exercise... together. This means that if his is bad, mine is more than likely not far behind. I have a history of good genes on my side and the fact that I do eat more fruits and vegetables overall than he does, but he works a LOT harder than I do and...oh yeah, he is younger. I will be 40 this year. This is the year your metabolism slows down considerably, the year that you begin to have to work to maintain health. The year I need to start exercising.... and dieting... and sweating... o.k. maybe not too much sweating, but definitely the other two. I looked at the list of foods that the doctor gave to him and I thought to myself...oh my, we are there, we are at the turning point, we are at the "we can't go to Chili's, we need K & W" stage .... this is bad! I am not good at diet, I am not good at working out. I flunked Weight Watchers, I gained it all back. I flunked Jazzersize ( o.k., I didn't flunk, I quit). Jason decided that I flunked at the Y and he dropped my membership. My friend Brandy I went for a whole year, three nights a week, and I never lost anything or gained anything....such as...oh..muscle. We walked ( o.k. we strolled) the track, we sat on the machines to talk, and some nights we just gave up and went for milkshakes. He decided we could use the money for more important things and Brandy and I could hang out and walk through town for free ( which we did, and still didn't lose any weight) I am a diet failure! I like to eat and I hate to sweat, this is not a good combination. but...
This is a year of changing habits. Time to change mine. This is the only body I have, the only one God will ever give me here on Earth. The time has come,we have to change our diet. I am buying more whole and organic foods and hardly any processed ones. No more box meals. Time to cook the old fashioned way, from scratch. This is how you know what you are getting. This is the only way I can make sure what we eat is healthy. Time to exercise! There is no time like the present and Zumba has proven to be a great way to get the movement going and so far, I have not failed out, although some days my body wishes I would. My feet and ankles hurt a lot more now and my muscles are not happy with me. When I look at some of those young girls dancing away like they are in a club, enjoying the fun and not feeling the work, it is easy to try and tell myself I should just give up, but I remind myself that I used to be like them and I am still alive. God has blessed me with good health and a good body although I don't deserve it, and that could change in an instant. Today I have to do whatever it takes to be healthy and be a good steward of what God has provided. That means I may have to sacrifice some things and sweat a little ( very little), but I guess it is the least I can do. Changing habits for Him...a strong soul, a strong mind and now a strong body.... as the song we dance to at Zumba says...What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... and I am not dead yet!
Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul. 3 John 1:2
Now it is time to start working on the hardest habit for me to break. The habit (or lack thereof) of exercise...yes, that is right, exercise! ( I even struggled typing that out) I hate to exercise. I HATE it!!! I was always the skinny girl growing up. I was that girl...the one that never seemed to watch what she ate, the one who never played a sport, the one who only showed up to PE class to watch the guys work out. I ate Skittles and Coke for breakfast, I ate popcorn, pizza and doughnuts for lunch, and whatever for dinner. I ate fast food whenever possible, ate out everyday at work, and never did a minute of anything that would cause you to sweat or lose your breath. In fact, I am not sure I have ever really sweated...ever...at all! When I got married I wore a size 2 and for most of my life never payed attention to a scale, but all that changed when I got pregnant for the first time. I was pregnant three times in the next three years, the first one ended in miscarriage in the first weeks of my second trimester, but not before I had gained 10 pounds. The next two came two years apart and along with staying home, complications which required bed rest, and my lack of exercise and diet, they managed to bring along 20 more pounds. I have now held steady for the last 6 years, not really gaining, not really losing, just hanging out at about 20 pounds overweight.
This year Jason and I have had somewhat of a wake up call, the we are getting old and out of shape, wake up call. He went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago and found that now, not only does he still have to take high blood pressure medication, but he also has high cholesterol, and not just a little high, the "well Mr. Hartman, we will give you 3 months to bring it down or you will have to go on medication" kind of high. He is younger than me, 3 years younger than me, and we eat the same things. He eats what I cook, we eat out together, and we don't exercise... together. This means that if his is bad, mine is more than likely not far behind. I have a history of good genes on my side and the fact that I do eat more fruits and vegetables overall than he does, but he works a LOT harder than I do and...oh yeah, he is younger. I will be 40 this year. This is the year your metabolism slows down considerably, the year that you begin to have to work to maintain health. The year I need to start exercising.... and dieting... and sweating... o.k. maybe not too much sweating, but definitely the other two. I looked at the list of foods that the doctor gave to him and I thought to myself...oh my, we are there, we are at the turning point, we are at the "we can't go to Chili's, we need K & W" stage .... this is bad! I am not good at diet, I am not good at working out. I flunked Weight Watchers, I gained it all back. I flunked Jazzersize ( o.k., I didn't flunk, I quit). Jason decided that I flunked at the Y and he dropped my membership. My friend Brandy I went for a whole year, three nights a week, and I never lost anything or gained anything....such as...oh..muscle. We walked ( o.k. we strolled) the track, we sat on the machines to talk, and some nights we just gave up and went for milkshakes. He decided we could use the money for more important things and Brandy and I could hang out and walk through town for free ( which we did, and still didn't lose any weight) I am a diet failure! I like to eat and I hate to sweat, this is not a good combination. but...
This is a year of changing habits. Time to change mine. This is the only body I have, the only one God will ever give me here on Earth. The time has come,we have to change our diet. I am buying more whole and organic foods and hardly any processed ones. No more box meals. Time to cook the old fashioned way, from scratch. This is how you know what you are getting. This is the only way I can make sure what we eat is healthy. Time to exercise! There is no time like the present and Zumba has proven to be a great way to get the movement going and so far, I have not failed out, although some days my body wishes I would. My feet and ankles hurt a lot more now and my muscles are not happy with me. When I look at some of those young girls dancing away like they are in a club, enjoying the fun and not feeling the work, it is easy to try and tell myself I should just give up, but I remind myself that I used to be like them and I am still alive. God has blessed me with good health and a good body although I don't deserve it, and that could change in an instant. Today I have to do whatever it takes to be healthy and be a good steward of what God has provided. That means I may have to sacrifice some things and sweat a little ( very little), but I guess it is the least I can do. Changing habits for Him...a strong soul, a strong mind and now a strong body.... as the song we dance to at Zumba says...What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... and I am not dead yet!
Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul. 3 John 1:2
