Potty Training Patience...

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Potty Training- no two words frustrate me more than these. I have very little patience for potty trainig. God spoiled us when he sent us Emma. He fooled us into thinking that child rearing was simple and that it took very little effort to teach them. Emma sat up at 4 months, she walked at 9 months, she knew her colors and shapes before she could even say them. Jason and I just had to show her what to do one time and she would just do it. I don't know where she gets it from, but the child is smart. Emma potty trained in three days- literally. She turned two on a Monday and by Friday she was wearing big girl panties. She was out of a nighttime pull-up within about three weeks and in the last two years has maybe had 2 accidents. I think she came with an easy button. I loved it, but then God sent me a reality check.
Lydia came into the world and we realized that Emma was the exception not the rule. Lydia loves being the baby. She was content to sit and let us bring her what she needed so she didn't walk until 15 months. She doesn't like to read or be still and she has very little tolerance to learn anything new. Don't get me wrong, she is smart. Lydia can figure out how anything works. She can take something apart and put it back together the first time. At two years old she was already speaking in full sentences, and she has an amazing ability to remember names and faces. She just doesn't care to learn about things she is not interested in. This includes potty training.
I started taking her to the potty months ago, but nothing. She loves to sit on the potty, read books on the potty, sing on the potty, but she refuses to potty in the potty. She likes to use it as a step stool so she can reach the sink and she likes that it makes the perfect chair for the baby dolls, she just doesn't like for it to be the perfect potty for her to use. I think she is ready. She can tell you when she goes in her diaper and she will even go get a clean diaper so you can change her. She knows what the potty is for and how to use toilet paper. She just doesn't do it.
I have tried everything from stickers to gummy bears. I even got a different potty because I thought she just didn't like the one we had. Nothing!
Then the answer to my problem came in the form of an e-mail. A friend of mine e-mailed me a motivational video the other day. The man in the video said to set a goal, write it down on a piece of paper, put it in your pocket, look at it everyday and it will happen. All this work and that was all I had to do? Lydia should be trained anyday now;)
"We pray that you will be strengthened with His glorious power so that you will have all the patience and endurance you need." Colossians 1:11a

 

A Snowy Lesson...

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I heard it said one time that we set the expectation for our children. That what we expect out of life will ultimately be what they learn to expect. This week I realized how true that can be, and that maybe sometimes I need to let them set the expectation for me.
My childhood was fun. My parents made sure that family time was important and enjoyable. I remember roller skating, bike riding, swimming, traveling to the mountains and the beach, I remember movie nights, playing board games, building forts under the kitchen table, and laughing a lot. We spent a lot of our time off from work and school doing things together as a family. On the other hand, my husband didn't have a lot of family time growing up, but he really wanted that for himself, so we decided when we had a family that we wanted to spend lots of quality time together and to make it as fun as possible for our children. My problem becomes expectation. I guess it is the perfectionist in me, but I want what my husband likes to call the Hallmark effect. I want everything we do together to look a certain way or be a certain way. I want everybody to be happy and have fun, but I tend to want it on my terms. Sometimes I find myself disappointed, even when things seem to be going well, just because it doesn't look like the picture I built up in my mind. This week, however, I learned that the truly fun and memorable moments in life come when you have no expectation at all.
I love snow! I mean really love snow. I am worse than a kid when it comes to a snow day. Before we had children, Jason and I would even pack up and drive north in search of snow just so we could play in it. When the forecast called for snow on Tuesday I was thrilled. Jason was off work anyway and I thought that surely we would get a couple inches or more. My girls have rarely seen snow, so I had this expectation of playing in the snow with them and building a small snowman and maybe even sledding or a snowball fight. Before bed Emma prayed and asked God to please send snow. When I tucked her in I prepared her for the fact that snow may not come, but she was convinced- after all she had prayed about it. When I got up with her in the night to potty and looked out the window I saw no snow. I was disappointed for her and myself. I told her it didn't look good for snow and the look on her face about made me cry, but I tucked her back in bed and promised her we would have a fun day no matter what.
The next morning I heard her run down the hall and then she began to holler- "MOMMY... IT SNOWED!! IT CAME! GOD SENT US SNOW!!" I jumped out of bed and looked out the window and there it was- a dusting- you could still see the grass. I thought she was crazy, that wasn't snow, but she was already jumping on our bed and waking up her daddy to tell him God sent us snow. He answered our prayer. She wanted to go out and play before breakfast, but I made her wait since it was only 18 degrees outside. I kept thinking to myself how disappointed they were going to be when they realized that it was just a tiny bit, not enough for a snowball let alone a snowman. We ate breakfast and began the task of getting ready for snow play. Hats, gloves, extra layers, coats. It took what seemed like forever to get them ready to go out and the whole time I kept thinking... Is this worth it? They won't stay out there 5 minutes when they see what it really is. I got the camera and we all headed outside and then I saw her face, but it wasn't what I expected. My children were thrilled, they stayed outside all morning. They made snowballs, even though they were tiny, and they ran around and fed the birds and slid down the driveway on an old piece of plastic that Jason found in the storage room. They laughed and giggled and it was contagious. I found myself laughing with them and looking for berries and sliding on the driveway with them. After we all had been frozen to the bone, we came inside, drank hot chocolate and hung up our wet snowy clothes.
While they were napping I began to think about the day and I realized that they have never really seen snow at least not a deep one. They had no expectations. They just wanted God to send some. The snow didn't have to be deep, they didn't have to make a snowman or build a snowfort or eat snow cream. They didn't care about any of that. Emma just wanted to play in the snow with her family and all she understood was God answered her prayer. Such a lesson for me to see. I don't need to worry about things not being good enough or fun enough or big enough. I need to see that the life God has allowed me to enjoy is enough. Children are happy with very little. They are not born wanting the biggest and the best, they learn that from us. Our expectations become their expectations. I pray that God will help me to understand and show them that He is enough. He did answer our prayer- He sent us snow...and sent me a lesson in humility. Thank you God!
"Enjoy what you have rather than desiring what you don't have. Just dreaming about nice things is meaningless; it is like chasing the wind." Ecclesiates 6:9

 

Why we don't eat out...

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We went out to eat Sunday after church. We had not been out to eat for a while as a family so we were excited (or at least I was since that meant I didn't have to cook or clean) We went to a family style resteraunt in our town- a more elderly crowd usually frequents there, but the food is good so we figured why not?

Lydia, my two year old, is not very patient. She is also very loud at times when she doesn't get her way and it can be highly embarrassing. We have been known to evacuate resteraunts, libraries and other normally quiet establishments, rather than have to subject others to the deafening noises that her tiny lungs can produce; however, she is two now and can understand what she is not supposed to do, so we thought all would be fine. WRONG!

It all started when the waitress brought out the food and said "hot plate... be careful" and then proceeded to set the grilled cheese sandwich right in front of Lydia. I reached over and touched the plate and it was very hot. I think they may have cooked the grilled cheese on the plate, so my husband, worried that Lydia would get burned, picked the plate up and moved it over to his side of the table so it could cool. That was it... she began to say NO DADDY!! over and over and then when I told her hold on a minute it has to cool down she began to scream. People began to stare and my husband began to panic. He tore the sandwhich in half and handed it to her thinking she would stop and eat it, but no, she started to scream louder and cry out " NO CUT IT DADDY! NO CUT IT!" now people are giving us the look that says "Please shut that kid up!" so I bent over and whispered in her ear that I would have to take her out to the car if she didn't get quiet and then she threw her head back and began to yell " NO POP MY TAIL MOMMY! NO POP ME!" I never said I was going to pop her tail, but now I am getting the looks that say " you mean mother- spanking that little girl- how dare you" What to do?

We decided to completely ignore her. So we all bowed our heads and closed our eyes and Emma began to pray. Lydia continued to scream and when we were done we all began eating and talking and not even looking at Lydia. After what seemed like an hour, but was really about 2 minutes, Lydia began to eat and announced " Happy now, mommy!" She took several bites and all of a sudden she put down her fork, folded her hands and said "Oh MAN! Prayer!" She had been so caught up in her tantrum she didn't even know we had prayed. The people behind us began to snicker and I just smiled and thought "Thank you God for the sweet moments- to help balance out the stressful ones"

Though next time I think we will just make the grilled cheese at home:)

"So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive His mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it." Hebrews 4:16

 

Queen of the Trampoline...

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It was inevitable. From the time that Emma became familiar with the famous siamese cat who thinks that he is a chihuahua, if you have small children than you probably guessed it, Skippy Jon Jones, the bed was doomed. Skippy likes to bounce and bounce on his big boy bed. Emma was two at the time and from the first time she heard the story she began to bounce and bounce on her big girl bed. Then came the book "Olivia Joins the Circus" in which Olivia pretends her bed is a trampoline and she is queen of the trampoline, and so began Emma's love of jumping on her bed. It was only a toddler bed, but every time you went in her room she was jumping, and she would say "I am queen of the trampoline, mommy." and I would say "Emma, your gonna break your bed and then you will have to sleep on the floor- not fun!" but she would only stop until I left the room and then I would hear the sounds of her poor bed straining to stay together while she bounced and bounced to try to touch the ceiling like Skippy or soar through the air like Olivia. We tried time outs and punishments and taking away her sleep toys, but she didn't seem to care. I even got her a book called "No more jumping on the bed" in which a little boy, jumping on his bed, falls through the floor in his apartment and ends up in the cellar. Emma didn't care, jumping was more fun and time out was short. "Emma... if you break that little bed, you will sleep on the floor- not fun!"
Lydia has grown up sharing a room with a sister who bounces on her bed daily so of course as soon as Lydia could stand up and walk she began to bounce also, then they began to bounce together and they would laugh and laugh as I fussed and complained " Someone is gonna get hurt." "You are going to break your bed.", but no one ever got hurt and the bed held on so they thought I was crazy until... yesterday!
The poor bed had had enough. It was naptime and everyone was supposed to be sleeping but not Emma. Emma was standing on the siderail and jumping down onto the bed (about a 4 inch drop) when I heard a crash and then all was quiet. I ran down the hall and into her room. Everything looked fine... Emma was laying on her matress with her blanket pulled up over her head pretending like she was asleep except that her bed was crooked and she was holding on to the broken rail to keep from falling on the floor. When I pulled back the blanket she was looking up at me with tears in her eyes, not because she got hurt, but because she knew that her mommy's warning had come true.
Needless to say her bouncing days are done for now, it is not as much fun to jump on the floor.

 

Decisions...

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I was in Walmart yesterday and I came to the conclusion that if you ever want to truly know what kind of town you live in just spend some time people watching in your local Walmart ( it can be quite an interesting experience). While I was wandering through the store, I began to think about the town I live in, my comfort zone, the place that I have called home for the past 11 years. Is this where God wants me to spend the rest of my life? Is this where God wants my children to grow up?
A few months ago my husband accepted a job in a small town about an hour away from where we live; as a result, we now have the choice of moving our family closer to his work or staying in our comfort zone and him continuing to commute. We feel God played a very active part in him getting this job. Everything that we prayed about fell into place and we felt God answering our prayers throughout the process, so we find ourselves questioning why we can't seem to decide what God's will is in our deciding whether to move or stay? Some days I feel strongly about moving and other days I feel just as strongly against it. We have prayed about it- but maybe not enough. We have talked about it- maybe to much. We have listed the pros and the cons- maybe that was just a bad idea to begin with. We tell ourselves it is for the sake of our children and their future that we don't just pack up and go but maybe for their sake we should. As you can see, we are truly on the fence so I just decided to quit worrying about it and take a break, after all we have time, we like our house and we have to do things to it before we could even put it on the market and with the economy it could be even longer. Gas is cheaper so the commute is not so bad- so I decided to just let it go and then it happened- God spoke.
My Life Group (Sunday School) lesson yesterday- discerning God's will for your life. My teacher listed four factors to consider in seeking the will of God: 1. Listen to the Holy Spirit as you study God's word. 2. ask for counsel from mature godly christians. 3. Use your God-given common sense. (that one is a little scary- for me anyways) 4. courageously obey God's will once you have discerned it. ( this one is the most difficult) I began to realize that I haven't really done any of these things- I have been relying on my own methods and ideas to decide what I think God's will would be, but haven't really considered thinking it through God's way. I have to begin again and get out of the way and then maybe I can begin to see the direction God is leading.
Tommorrow we are going to go visit the area so we can see what it has to offer our family. I am praying God will begin to lead us in the right direction, but first I may have to spend some time at their local Walmart.
" Do not copy the behaviors and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect His will really is." Romans 12:2

 

Focus

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My four year old Emma is very artistic and creative. Her imagination is endless and as a result she spends most of her life in a fantasy world full of baby dolls, princesses and fairies. She can build an entire script in her mind and act it out without ever coming out of character. She can turn seemingly mundane tasks into a game or adventure. For example cleaning her room can turn into Cinderella cleaning the castle or while we shop at Walmart for groceries- she is buying supplies for Emily and Pig (her favorite doll and sleep toy). While I am thrilled that she is so creative I spend a lot of time telling her to focus. Emma, please focus on what your supposed to be doing... I ask myself where does she get her lack of focus from? Unfortunately I have to say probably from me- her mother, who also seems to lack focus. I often start projects and then lose focus and move on to something else. I spend a lot of time saying I am going to "catch up" on things but not a lot of time actually doing it.
God has blessed my family in 2008 with health for myself and my family, my husband continuing to have a job, a church family that loves and continues to grow, a home to live in and food on our table, while a lot of the world goes hungry, and the list could go on and on; however I feel God telling me to focus in 2009. Since I don't make resolutions, because I never focus long enough to keep them, I do want to make a list of things that I need to "focus" on in 2009:

-God's will for me. I say I want to do God's will, but I don't spend enough time really searching for what that is. In 2009 I want to seek to know what God's will for my life is and I want to begin to live it.
-Others. I always see opportunities to help and serve others but a lot of times I find reasons why I can't do them. In 2009 I am going to focus on voluteering and serving others more. As my pastor says- "we look most like Christ when we serve."
-Family. I want to spend more quality time with family- not TV, not the computer, not work. Children grow up so fast and I don't want to miss anything.
-Finishing what I start. I am going to set a goal to finish projects that I have started and lost focus on-Bible studies, craft projects, home improvement, etc. I have a lot of unfinished projects that need to get done!
God, please help me to focus!!! ( even if I have to wear a tiara while doing it:D)

"Let us lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of faith." Hebrews 12 : 1b-2a