www.sandraevertson.com
10 years ago
Posted by
Victoria
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I heard someone say that we are born with only two inate fears. The fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. All other fears are learned behavior. I personally don't have very many fears. I have never liked the dark, snakes and spiders. That is about it. My parents aren't fearful people and they never fed into fears so my learned fears came mostly from experiences. I stepped on a spider when I was young and it was carrying babys on it's back ( who knew that they do that?) and when I squished her all the babies ran in all directions and up my pant legs and my shoes and scared me to death and that was it, no more spiders for me. My fear of the dark came with neighbors who were older and mostly of the male variety who loved to scare me and my friend with tales of ax men that lived in the woods behind our houses and snatched little kids... seems silly, but at the time I used to run as fast as I could to get home from my friends house at night and since my bed was under a window I always slept with my back to the window so I couldn't see him coming. I think my fear of snakes needs no explanation. It is a snake, enough said.
My husband is afraid of heights and snakes ( I think snakes should be listed with those inate fears your born with). When he was young he had a bad experience on a carnival ride or something and he blames it on that but who knows.
We have both tried really hard to not pass these fears onto our children. I don't want them to be fearful and miss out on great opportunities out of fear, but amazingly enough fear has even found it's way into their experiences and some of it does seem to pass down although Jason and I can't think of a single time we have showed fear in front of them. Emma is afraid of heights and the dark. One from each parent. I have never taught her to be afraid of the dark. We laugh and make jokes when there is a monster in her room and she always laughs it off, but she sleeps with her door cracked to see the light from the den and always sleeps with a night light.She has always been fearful of high places and even the tall balance beam at gymnastics makes her very nervous. She has never had a bad experience with either one of her fears so where do they come from?
Lydia is afraid of spiders and wind. I know it is strange and she is slightly strange anyway so it fits...haha! Spiders she did not get from me. She had a dream when she was two that there were spiders in her bed and she woke up screaming. This is the only dream she has ever had that she could tell us exactly what she dreamed and the only dream she has had that she never forgot and still talks about it although no one ever mentions it and it has been a year. It must have been a very vivid, scary dream for her. I hate it, but unfortunately I can't take that image away. The wind comes from something only she must know. She has never blown away so who knows, but from the time she could hold her head up she has cryed in the wind. She holds her hood up on her coat so it can't blow her hair and yesterday in the wind storm ( 50 mph wind gusts) she sat in the den looking out the window crying for most of the day and saying she was scared. She took no nap because she could hear it coming and she yelled at it to STOP! She is funny. I tried to comfort her and show her it wasn't going to hurt her, but she was unmoved.
I had a stressful day after dealing with her whining and crying all day but it never occured to me to use the opportunity to pray with her or talk to her about God taking away our fears. Emma came home from school and saw Lydia crying so she went over and told her it was o.k. In a few minutes the wind died down and they were playing quietly. I said to them " yay! the wind seems to be dying down." and Emma said "well of course mommy! I prayed God would make it stop and He always does." Lydia was happy for the first time all day and I realized that I had gotten a lesson from my five year old. Even though the wind would pick back up and blow, they seemed unconcerned with it. Why did I not think of that?A lesson in faith taught to my three year old by my five year old. Lydia may still be afraid of the wind, but at least she found comfort in knowing God is bigger than any wind storm. All I can say is Thank you to God for my children, showing me what faith like a child really means and letting me have the real lesson of the day!
" For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." Isaiah 41:13
My husband is afraid of heights and snakes ( I think snakes should be listed with those inate fears your born with). When he was young he had a bad experience on a carnival ride or something and he blames it on that but who knows.
We have both tried really hard to not pass these fears onto our children. I don't want them to be fearful and miss out on great opportunities out of fear, but amazingly enough fear has even found it's way into their experiences and some of it does seem to pass down although Jason and I can't think of a single time we have showed fear in front of them. Emma is afraid of heights and the dark. One from each parent. I have never taught her to be afraid of the dark. We laugh and make jokes when there is a monster in her room and she always laughs it off, but she sleeps with her door cracked to see the light from the den and always sleeps with a night light.She has always been fearful of high places and even the tall balance beam at gymnastics makes her very nervous. She has never had a bad experience with either one of her fears so where do they come from?
Lydia is afraid of spiders and wind. I know it is strange and she is slightly strange anyway so it fits...haha! Spiders she did not get from me. She had a dream when she was two that there were spiders in her bed and she woke up screaming. This is the only dream she has ever had that she could tell us exactly what she dreamed and the only dream she has had that she never forgot and still talks about it although no one ever mentions it and it has been a year. It must have been a very vivid, scary dream for her. I hate it, but unfortunately I can't take that image away. The wind comes from something only she must know. She has never blown away so who knows, but from the time she could hold her head up she has cryed in the wind. She holds her hood up on her coat so it can't blow her hair and yesterday in the wind storm ( 50 mph wind gusts) she sat in the den looking out the window crying for most of the day and saying she was scared. She took no nap because she could hear it coming and she yelled at it to STOP! She is funny. I tried to comfort her and show her it wasn't going to hurt her, but she was unmoved.
I had a stressful day after dealing with her whining and crying all day but it never occured to me to use the opportunity to pray with her or talk to her about God taking away our fears. Emma came home from school and saw Lydia crying so she went over and told her it was o.k. In a few minutes the wind died down and they were playing quietly. I said to them " yay! the wind seems to be dying down." and Emma said "well of course mommy! I prayed God would make it stop and He always does." Lydia was happy for the first time all day and I realized that I had gotten a lesson from my five year old. Even though the wind would pick back up and blow, they seemed unconcerned with it. Why did I not think of that?A lesson in faith taught to my three year old by my five year old. Lydia may still be afraid of the wind, but at least she found comfort in knowing God is bigger than any wind storm. All I can say is Thank you to God for my children, showing me what faith like a child really means and letting me have the real lesson of the day!
" For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." Isaiah 41:13
