Being an older Mom... Mother's Day Blessings

I always intended to have children while I was young. My Mom had me when she was 30 after years of trying and for the early 70's that was considered old for having a baby. All of her friends had teenagers when I was still in elementary school. There were very few children among my parent's circle of friends that were even close to my age. My cousins were so much older than me I called them uncle. I always said I wanted to be a young Mom. When Jason and I got married, I had just turned 23 and he was only a couple of months into being 20 so it appeared my plan for being a young Mom was right on track. We waited for a few months and then I decided to go off of birth control and what would be, would be. I never dreamed that what would be would take 8 more years, but God's plan is sometimes not our plan. As the years went by I watched my friends having babies, I watched my clients having babies, I watched children I babysat having babies. I got tired of people asking when we were going to have one of our own. The doctors didn't know why I wasn't pregnant, they had theories, but they had no evidence to back them up. Everything tested fine, everything appeared fine. Just nothing. I was offered fertility options, but was nervous of the side effects, unsure if they were safe, afraid of outcomes like I saw on TV. I did not want to be pregnant with multiples. I prayed about it and we decided that if God saw fit to bless us then great, but if not, then that was His plan. We looked into adoption, we looked into Foster care, we began to save money for overseas adoption. The years continued to tick by....
    God's ways are not our ways and His plans are not our plans. 8 years later and the unexpected happened, I became pregnant. I was so shocked that when the Doctor told me it was true I still didn't believe him. I thought it was a mistake. I took the whole box of pregnancy tests- all three of them and still didn't believe it. "Miracles do happen", those were the words of my Doctor, who called it a fluke, after I miscarried the first pregnancy at 14 weeks and became pregnant again just three and a half months later. They had no explanation, they didn't even have a theory for that one. Now here we are 8 years and two beautiful healthy daughters later, and I am still amazed by the timing of God. I am my Mother's daughter, I followed in her footsteps in so many ways including having my children in my 30's. I never would have imagined it, I never would have planned it, but it has become the biggest blessing that God has given me. Thanks to those 8 years without children, Jason and I were able to grow up together, without the stress of raising children.  We traveled, we furnished our home, we bought a house. Jason had moved up in his company to the point that he could support us without my income. We had 8 years to bond and live and grow closer and closer to each other, and I would not trade that time for anything. Yes, I am more tired than my friend's who have endless amounts of energy for their little ones. I sometimes think I am not as laid back because of my age. I have gray streaks instead of  fun blue and pink streaks, and I am not current on pop culture. I don't text or have an Iphone. I sometimes feel old when I see friend I grew up with children heading out to college and driving and graduating high school while I am buying a little mini cap and gown to watch mine graduate Kindergarten. All those things my Mom struggled through as a Mom are now my struggles as well, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
I think there are advantages to being an older Mom. I think about the views I had and the life I lived when I was in my 20's and I know that I would not have the children I have today if I would have raised them then. I am closer to God now than ever before and I understand what values and morals I want to instill in them. Jason and I have changed so much in the last decade, we understand each other, our love is so much deeper. We are more mellow, we are faster to love and slower to fight. We have worked out our differences and we are more one now than ever before which helps us be better parents. I appreciate the little moments more as an older Mom. I had to be patient and go through a lot to have them and I don't want to take a single moment for granted. God's timing is perfect and He knew when we would should be parents even before we did and I am thankful for His Grace and His mercy and His perfect planning. Mother's Day was a wonderful reminder  of just how far He has brought us and how much He has blessed us and I wouldn't trade a single minute of it, even if I am one of the oldest Moms in the kindergarten PTO.