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10 years ago
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Victoria
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Sometimes the strangest things get me thinking and analyzing my life. This week all it took was a simple statement by my youngest daughter " I am glad that you and Daddy never fight." My first thought was Yes, we do! but after I thought for a minute, I realized that while we do disagree and we have days where we are grumpy with each other, she is right, she probably hasn't ever seen us "fight" ( and by fight I mean argue, not physically fight!), and that made me unhappy. I know it sounds crazy, but I have really thought about that a lot this week. Why? Because I don't want my children to live in the fantasy that every marriage is perfect and that we always get along. How will they know how to deal with conflict and how will they know that things can and do get worked out? The world we live in teaches that if you're unhappy or you can't agree just split up and move on. Our world teaches that love is a feeling and that it should come easy and you shouldn't have to work to maintain it. Divorce is a 50/50 thing. The world teaches that it is easier to cut your losses and move on than it is to work for it, fight for it, change. I truly believe that sometimes divorce is the only option, and that it is the only answer in some cases. I want my girls to know that they should not tolerate abuse. EVER! Either physical, mental or verbal. I want them to know that in some cases there is no other answer but to part ways, but for the day to day stuff, the I don't think I like you right now stuff, I want my girls to know that it can be done. That just because you disagree or just because you raise your voice doesn't mean that it is over. This is what bothered me about her statement, I need them to know that life is not all roses and sweetness, and that there will be arguments, there will be disagreements, there will be days when love requires work and solutions mean compromise. I want them to know that just because you don't like someone right this minute doesn't mean that you don't love them. forever.
Jason and I have been together for a long time. In a sense, we have grown up together, and it has not always been easy. We dated five years before we got married. I came from a family that worked things out, my parents have always been married. I saw them fight occasionally. I saw them yell and fuss. I remember my Mom telling me that it was healthy to "clear the air" once in a while and that it was good to "let things out". I also remember them always working it out, not always easy, not always the way each of them would like, but always together. Jason, not quite the same upbringing. He saw lots of things too, but not always good things. His household was the complete opposite of mine. When we were dating, he had a quick temper, and I had a quick mouth. I knew he had a hard time controlling his temper, and yet I would push him right to the limit. I was hard headed and stubborn and rarely said I was sorry. He would throw things and punch things, but thank God he was always able to know when to leave, walk away and cool down, most of the time no thanks to me. I would get pulled into his temper and that made for some crazy moments that aren't worth sharing. We struggled through a lot of issues that he was dealing with and a lot of mess we brought on ourselves, but we made it and I decided that I would make changes before we got married, and we did... kind of.
When we got married, neither of us had ever lived out on our own. We had never had to manage finances or run a home. I came from a fairly strict household, with rules and curfews and expectations. He came from a household where he had done exactly what he wanted for a long time, no rules, no curfews, no expectations. It took a while for us to figure out a balance in those two things, and while we didn't argue near as much after we were married, we still had lots of things to work out. Our fights took on a different tone. I discovered that even when we don't choose to blame our upbringing for our weaknesses and even if we strive to rise above family issues, the reality is our upbringing shapes who we are, and with that can come a lot of things that shape our thoughts and our ideas. Our experiences and our parent's examples are ingrained in us and become a part of us, both the good and the bad. I really think that Jason believed every time we disagreed that I was leaving. He would act surprised to come home and still find a household and a wife there. I think he had low expectations for a lasting marriage. I think I believed that I was always right and that I was going to make him see things my way at any cost, and that he had seen what not to do, so he should just know what he should do. I think I had too many expectations for a lasting marriage. I needed to remember what I had been taught and how my parents worked out their problems. I needed to remember how they "cleared the air", how they prayed, how they chose to love, even when it was hard.
Life really changed for me when someone gave me the book The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie O'Martian. I read that book reluctantly, but it completely changed the way I thought. The book teaches you how to pray for your husband, not just a passing prayer, but how to pray over every part of him, from the little mundane things to the deep inner parts. I began to practice the lessons in that book. I prayed for him like never before. I realized through that process that I am only responsible to change me. I can pray for him, but I can only change me. I began to pray that God would open my eyes to what I needed to change about myself. I learned that love is not just a feeling, love is a choice, love is work! Hard work sometimes, but with the work and through the choice comes the feeling. The feeling of love is the product of all the work. JOY- Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last. I needed to put God at the beginning, Jason next and myself last. I needed to practice in my heart what I knew in my head.
Now here we are, and according to Lydia's statement, we have come a long way. Jason and I know each other, inside and out. We know how each other works, we know what our strengths are and what are weaknesses are. She is right, we hardly ever really argue. He still has things that he struggles with and I still have things I struggle with. We still have things that we disagree about and little things that annoy us about each other at times, but we are older and wiser... and tired. We have learned to put God first and each other second. We have learned to pray through our troubles. I have learned that it is o.k. to be humble, say I am sorry, close my mouth. Jason has learned that it is possible to simply clear the air, let it out and move on. Love doesn't have to mean war. Marriage can be fun and happy, and yes, you can "feel" love, everyday and forever. I want my girls to see that lesson as well. I want them to see us disagree, raise our voices, and show weakness. They need to see their Mommy cry ( every now and then) so that they know it will be o.k., it isn't the end. They need to see us pray and say I am Sorry and ask forgiveness and compromise. They need to see that there are healthy ways to disagree, that everyone has bad days and everyone gets angry sometimes, but it is about talking, working it out, and moving on. They need to see what real love looks like, both the good and the bad. Every problem does not have to lead to divorce, sometimes you just have to clear the air to find fresh love!
Jason and I have been together for a long time. In a sense, we have grown up together, and it has not always been easy. We dated five years before we got married. I came from a family that worked things out, my parents have always been married. I saw them fight occasionally. I saw them yell and fuss. I remember my Mom telling me that it was healthy to "clear the air" once in a while and that it was good to "let things out". I also remember them always working it out, not always easy, not always the way each of them would like, but always together. Jason, not quite the same upbringing. He saw lots of things too, but not always good things. His household was the complete opposite of mine. When we were dating, he had a quick temper, and I had a quick mouth. I knew he had a hard time controlling his temper, and yet I would push him right to the limit. I was hard headed and stubborn and rarely said I was sorry. He would throw things and punch things, but thank God he was always able to know when to leave, walk away and cool down, most of the time no thanks to me. I would get pulled into his temper and that made for some crazy moments that aren't worth sharing. We struggled through a lot of issues that he was dealing with and a lot of mess we brought on ourselves, but we made it and I decided that I would make changes before we got married, and we did... kind of.
When we got married, neither of us had ever lived out on our own. We had never had to manage finances or run a home. I came from a fairly strict household, with rules and curfews and expectations. He came from a household where he had done exactly what he wanted for a long time, no rules, no curfews, no expectations. It took a while for us to figure out a balance in those two things, and while we didn't argue near as much after we were married, we still had lots of things to work out. Our fights took on a different tone. I discovered that even when we don't choose to blame our upbringing for our weaknesses and even if we strive to rise above family issues, the reality is our upbringing shapes who we are, and with that can come a lot of things that shape our thoughts and our ideas. Our experiences and our parent's examples are ingrained in us and become a part of us, both the good and the bad. I really think that Jason believed every time we disagreed that I was leaving. He would act surprised to come home and still find a household and a wife there. I think he had low expectations for a lasting marriage. I think I believed that I was always right and that I was going to make him see things my way at any cost, and that he had seen what not to do, so he should just know what he should do. I think I had too many expectations for a lasting marriage. I needed to remember what I had been taught and how my parents worked out their problems. I needed to remember how they "cleared the air", how they prayed, how they chose to love, even when it was hard.
Life really changed for me when someone gave me the book The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie O'Martian. I read that book reluctantly, but it completely changed the way I thought. The book teaches you how to pray for your husband, not just a passing prayer, but how to pray over every part of him, from the little mundane things to the deep inner parts. I began to practice the lessons in that book. I prayed for him like never before. I realized through that process that I am only responsible to change me. I can pray for him, but I can only change me. I began to pray that God would open my eyes to what I needed to change about myself. I learned that love is not just a feeling, love is a choice, love is work! Hard work sometimes, but with the work and through the choice comes the feeling. The feeling of love is the product of all the work. JOY- Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last. I needed to put God at the beginning, Jason next and myself last. I needed to practice in my heart what I knew in my head.
Now here we are, and according to Lydia's statement, we have come a long way. Jason and I know each other, inside and out. We know how each other works, we know what our strengths are and what are weaknesses are. She is right, we hardly ever really argue. He still has things that he struggles with and I still have things I struggle with. We still have things that we disagree about and little things that annoy us about each other at times, but we are older and wiser... and tired. We have learned to put God first and each other second. We have learned to pray through our troubles. I have learned that it is o.k. to be humble, say I am sorry, close my mouth. Jason has learned that it is possible to simply clear the air, let it out and move on. Love doesn't have to mean war. Marriage can be fun and happy, and yes, you can "feel" love, everyday and forever. I want my girls to see that lesson as well. I want them to see us disagree, raise our voices, and show weakness. They need to see their Mommy cry ( every now and then) so that they know it will be o.k., it isn't the end. They need to see us pray and say I am Sorry and ask forgiveness and compromise. They need to see that there are healthy ways to disagree, that everyone has bad days and everyone gets angry sometimes, but it is about talking, working it out, and moving on. They need to see what real love looks like, both the good and the bad. Every problem does not have to lead to divorce, sometimes you just have to clear the air to find fresh love!
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Victoria
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I always intended to have children while I was young. My Mom had me when she was 30 after years of trying and for the early 70's that was considered old for having a baby. All of her friends had teenagers when I was still in elementary school. There were very few children among my parent's circle of friends that were even close to my age. My cousins were so much older than me I called them uncle. I always said I wanted to be a young Mom. When Jason and I got married, I had just turned 23 and he was only a couple of months into being 20 so it appeared my plan for being a young Mom was right on track. We waited for a few months and then I decided to go off of birth control and what would be, would be. I never dreamed that what would be would take 8 more years, but God's plan is sometimes not our plan. As the years went by I watched my friends having babies, I watched my clients having babies, I watched children I babysat having babies. I got tired of people asking when we were going to have one of our own. The doctors didn't know why I wasn't pregnant, they had theories, but they had no evidence to back them up. Everything tested fine, everything appeared fine. Just nothing. I was offered fertility options, but was nervous of the side effects, unsure if they were safe, afraid of outcomes like I saw on TV. I did not want to be pregnant with multiples. I prayed about it and we decided that if God saw fit to bless us then great, but if not, then that was His plan. We looked into adoption, we looked into Foster care, we began to save money for overseas adoption. The years continued to tick by....
God's ways are not our ways and His plans are not our plans. 8 years later and the unexpected happened, I became pregnant. I was so shocked that when the Doctor told me it was true I still didn't believe him. I thought it was a mistake. I took the whole box of pregnancy tests- all three of them and still didn't believe it. "Miracles do happen", those were the words of my Doctor, who called it a fluke, after I miscarried the first pregnancy at 14 weeks and became pregnant again just three and a half months later. They had no explanation, they didn't even have a theory for that one. Now here we are 8 years and two beautiful healthy daughters later, and I am still amazed by the timing of God. I am my Mother's daughter, I followed in her footsteps in so many ways including having my children in my 30's. I never would have imagined it, I never would have planned it, but it has become the biggest blessing that God has given me. Thanks to those 8 years without children, Jason and I were able to grow up together, without the stress of raising children. We traveled, we furnished our home, we bought a house. Jason had moved up in his company to the point that he could support us without my income. We had 8 years to bond and live and grow closer and closer to each other, and I would not trade that time for anything. Yes, I am more tired than my friend's who have endless amounts of energy for their little ones. I sometimes think I am not as laid back because of my age. I have gray streaks instead of fun blue and pink streaks, and I am not current on pop culture. I don't text or have an Iphone. I sometimes feel old when I see friend I grew up with children heading out to college and driving and graduating high school while I am buying a little mini cap and gown to watch mine graduate Kindergarten. All those things my Mom struggled through as a Mom are now my struggles as well, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
I think there are advantages to being an older Mom. I think about the views I had and the life I lived when I was in my 20's and I know that I would not have the children I have today if I would have raised them then. I am closer to God now than ever before and I understand what values and morals I want to instill in them. Jason and I have changed so much in the last decade, we understand each other, our love is so much deeper. We are more mellow, we are faster to love and slower to fight. We have worked out our differences and we are more one now than ever before which helps us be better parents. I appreciate the little moments more as an older Mom. I had to be patient and go through a lot to have them and I don't want to take a single moment for granted. God's timing is perfect and He knew when we would should be parents even before we did and I am thankful for His Grace and His mercy and His perfect planning. Mother's Day was a wonderful reminder of just how far He has brought us and how much He has blessed us and I wouldn't trade a single minute of it, even if I am one of the oldest Moms in the kindergarten PTO.
God's ways are not our ways and His plans are not our plans. 8 years later and the unexpected happened, I became pregnant. I was so shocked that when the Doctor told me it was true I still didn't believe him. I thought it was a mistake. I took the whole box of pregnancy tests- all three of them and still didn't believe it. "Miracles do happen", those were the words of my Doctor, who called it a fluke, after I miscarried the first pregnancy at 14 weeks and became pregnant again just three and a half months later. They had no explanation, they didn't even have a theory for that one. Now here we are 8 years and two beautiful healthy daughters later, and I am still amazed by the timing of God. I am my Mother's daughter, I followed in her footsteps in so many ways including having my children in my 30's. I never would have imagined it, I never would have planned it, but it has become the biggest blessing that God has given me. Thanks to those 8 years without children, Jason and I were able to grow up together, without the stress of raising children. We traveled, we furnished our home, we bought a house. Jason had moved up in his company to the point that he could support us without my income. We had 8 years to bond and live and grow closer and closer to each other, and I would not trade that time for anything. Yes, I am more tired than my friend's who have endless amounts of energy for their little ones. I sometimes think I am not as laid back because of my age. I have gray streaks instead of fun blue and pink streaks, and I am not current on pop culture. I don't text or have an Iphone. I sometimes feel old when I see friend I grew up with children heading out to college and driving and graduating high school while I am buying a little mini cap and gown to watch mine graduate Kindergarten. All those things my Mom struggled through as a Mom are now my struggles as well, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
I think there are advantages to being an older Mom. I think about the views I had and the life I lived when I was in my 20's and I know that I would not have the children I have today if I would have raised them then. I am closer to God now than ever before and I understand what values and morals I want to instill in them. Jason and I have changed so much in the last decade, we understand each other, our love is so much deeper. We are more mellow, we are faster to love and slower to fight. We have worked out our differences and we are more one now than ever before which helps us be better parents. I appreciate the little moments more as an older Mom. I had to be patient and go through a lot to have them and I don't want to take a single moment for granted. God's timing is perfect and He knew when we would should be parents even before we did and I am thankful for His Grace and His mercy and His perfect planning. Mother's Day was a wonderful reminder of just how far He has brought us and how much He has blessed us and I wouldn't trade a single minute of it, even if I am one of the oldest Moms in the kindergarten PTO.
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Victoria
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Rain, rain go away... as I look out the window at another gray, foggy, drippy day I am reminded that April showers are supposed to bring May flowers, although right now they only seem to be bringing mud, weeds and mold. I am not a Spring girl, I am a Fall/Winter girl. I like fuzzy clothes, warm blankets, big coats, hot cider, the smell of wood smoke in the air. I do not like mud puddles, humidity, dandelion flowers, and bugs. I have to struggle through Spring. I am not a spotless housekeeper so my Spring cleaning takes most of the season and by the time I finish, the things I started with usually need done again. I am not an experienced gardener, but living in a neighborhood with small yards and very neat neighbors insures that I do my part to keep weeds pulled, flowers pruned and mulch fresh. I have grumbled for the past several weeks about allergies, and pollen and hotness, and sweat, and then I see posts on Facebook about Cicada's...ewww! Grumble, grumble, I hate Spring, but then this morning I opened my Bible randomly (which I do sometimes) just let it open to a page and began to read...
Song of Solomon 2: 11-13
See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land. The fig tree forms its early fruit; the blossoming vines spread their fragrance. Arise, come, my darling; my beautiful one, come with me.”
Yes, God has His own ways of speaking to us if we are listening, don't ever doubt that He works in mysterious ways. I am not sure I have ever even really read Song of Solomon...ever! When I read this passage I got the most beautiful picture in my head of birds chirping and trees blooming out and of course it is hard to grumble at a love story... God created seasons and He did it for a reason, everything has a purpose. God is intentional. Instead of complaining and counting down the weeks until what I like comes back around, I need to focus on what God wants me to see right now, in this season. I need to learn to love Spring.
North Carolina has four very distinct seasons. We are lucky to live in a place that experiences each season separately. Living in the mountains, they are even more unique and I have learned to appreciate Spring a little more since living here. There is a reason that Winter is not the peak tourist season in the NC mountain region. Yes, the mountains are beautiful when they are covered in a bright white, pure, snowfall and you are skiing down the slopes, but just day to day Winter without the blanket of white is drab to say the least. The mountains loom up all around you into the horizon, dark and gray. The wind is brutal and the cold is never ending. The fog is daily, it rolls in like a blanket at night and hangs out until mid-morning, everyday! Gray and thick. The trees are barren and all of a sudden you see houses and shacks and caves that you never knew were there. ( the old saying the hills have eyes is true, you don't know all the people hiding in the hills until the leaves drop off the trees) The roads are covered in salt and sand, the rocks are wet and dripping and everything is dead, which makes the switch to Spring that much more amazing. Just in the last couple of weeks, the flowers have bloomed out, the trees are covered in blossoms and birds are everywhere. There are lots of flowering trees in the mountains, purple and white, dogwoods and cherry. We wake up to a constant chirping song, birds are everywhere. The mountains begin to fill out and become lush and green again. The girls begin to bring me beautiful purple blossoms and it is even hard to grumble about the Dandelions I hate when they are being tucked behind my ear with a kiss on the cheek from one of my girls. I love to plant vegetables and fruit so Spring comes with the smell of fresh tilled earth and the promise of homegrown food on our table and grill. Warm weather means trips to the park and picnics in the grass, rocking on the front porch and neighbors waving Hi and stopping to chat. Here in the south, warm weather brings out flip flops and jugs of sweet tea, it means a time of refreshing... "He makes all things new". God uses Spring to remind me that after the dead of Winter comes the newness of life. The girls marvel at the newborn calves at the farm on the way to school and try and peek into the nests that pop up in our trees. Even on a rainy day like today I am reminded that life moves on and springs forth, that all things are fresh again. In the midst of chaos and the evil of sin and death that surround us on this Earth, God reminds me that in Him all things are made new, His love never fails, and with new life and a new season, comes hope!
Song of Solomon 2: 11-13
See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land. The fig tree forms its early fruit; the blossoming vines spread their fragrance. Arise, come, my darling; my beautiful one, come with me.”
Yes, God has His own ways of speaking to us if we are listening, don't ever doubt that He works in mysterious ways. I am not sure I have ever even really read Song of Solomon...ever! When I read this passage I got the most beautiful picture in my head of birds chirping and trees blooming out and of course it is hard to grumble at a love story... God created seasons and He did it for a reason, everything has a purpose. God is intentional. Instead of complaining and counting down the weeks until what I like comes back around, I need to focus on what God wants me to see right now, in this season. I need to learn to love Spring.
North Carolina has four very distinct seasons. We are lucky to live in a place that experiences each season separately. Living in the mountains, they are even more unique and I have learned to appreciate Spring a little more since living here. There is a reason that Winter is not the peak tourist season in the NC mountain region. Yes, the mountains are beautiful when they are covered in a bright white, pure, snowfall and you are skiing down the slopes, but just day to day Winter without the blanket of white is drab to say the least. The mountains loom up all around you into the horizon, dark and gray. The wind is brutal and the cold is never ending. The fog is daily, it rolls in like a blanket at night and hangs out until mid-morning, everyday! Gray and thick. The trees are barren and all of a sudden you see houses and shacks and caves that you never knew were there. ( the old saying the hills have eyes is true, you don't know all the people hiding in the hills until the leaves drop off the trees) The roads are covered in salt and sand, the rocks are wet and dripping and everything is dead, which makes the switch to Spring that much more amazing. Just in the last couple of weeks, the flowers have bloomed out, the trees are covered in blossoms and birds are everywhere. There are lots of flowering trees in the mountains, purple and white, dogwoods and cherry. We wake up to a constant chirping song, birds are everywhere. The mountains begin to fill out and become lush and green again. The girls begin to bring me beautiful purple blossoms and it is even hard to grumble about the Dandelions I hate when they are being tucked behind my ear with a kiss on the cheek from one of my girls. I love to plant vegetables and fruit so Spring comes with the smell of fresh tilled earth and the promise of homegrown food on our table and grill. Warm weather means trips to the park and picnics in the grass, rocking on the front porch and neighbors waving Hi and stopping to chat. Here in the south, warm weather brings out flip flops and jugs of sweet tea, it means a time of refreshing... "He makes all things new". God uses Spring to remind me that after the dead of Winter comes the newness of life. The girls marvel at the newborn calves at the farm on the way to school and try and peek into the nests that pop up in our trees. Even on a rainy day like today I am reminded that life moves on and springs forth, that all things are fresh again. In the midst of chaos and the evil of sin and death that surround us on this Earth, God reminds me that in Him all things are made new, His love never fails, and with new life and a new season, comes hope!
Posted by
Victoria
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I can't believe that Easter is almost here. This month has flown by in so many ways. We had some great Spring weather, flowers blooming, garden started and a trip to the park and then typical of NC, Winter returned and after watching snow flurries float by the window all day yesterday and today sitting here with my space heater on, I have decided that although I am a Winter girl, I am ready for a return of Spring... it is COLD! I have been off of Facebook now for an entire month, which is the longest time I have been away from it since I signed up 5 or 6 years ago. I thought I would miss it more, but I really haven't. My Goodreads account and my blog are tied in so anytime I post from here or on books that I read on Goodreads, it should show up over on my Facebook page, so I apologize if I have bored you to death with book reviews and reading blogs, I don't know how to turn that off. Since I haven't updated family or friends much about what has been going on with us I decided to just use this post to update whoever is interested on our random happenings this past couple of weeks, so here are some updates from the Hartman home...
-Emma prayed to receive Christ as her savior last week, she was so sweet and said God spoke to her and told her to let Him in and be her Lord. She is being baptised on Easter Sunday and we could not be happier for her. I will try to make a video or photo to show all of our away family this special time. I thank God for answered prayer and hope I can live up to my responsibility as a parent and raise her in the way He would have her to go.
-The other day Emma tells Lydia that she would never get in a fight unless it was a boy trying to kiss her or touch her, then she would punch him right in the face. She said Daddy had given her permission and she wouldn't be in trouble for punching a boy who was trying to kiss her. She also said she passed this info onto a boy in her class who said he was going to chase her across the playground. Said boy is no longer a threat...lol! (* note to self- talk to Jason about not promoting physical violence during recess, and remind him of those times he spent in detention because while it has been a while, he seems to have forgotten that in school- yes, you do get in trouble for fighting.)
- Flax seed is a miracle ingredient when watching cholesterol, I have made homemade noodles, biscuits and cornbread with little to no cholesterol by replacing eggs and oil with it, it is my new best friend in the fight for health.
- Emma was upset last week when she made her first B and lost her straight A honor roll status.. I wish I would have cared as much as she does when I was in school- she is definitely a type A personality and she doesn't get it from her slacker, procrastinating parents.
-Lydia is playing T-ball again this year, she is the only girl on the team, but doesn't seem to care.
- Zulilly is not just for children, I got a pair of Zumba shoes for half price. Now if I could just buy some talent I would be set.
- Jason is finishing up another semester of school soon and has to pick an elective to take over the Summer... it was a close call between Philosophy and Public Speaking, but I think he finally decided on Art.... ( I don't even know how to make the little face that should be inserted here..ha!).... this should be an interesting Summer. Emma was excited because she takes Art camp at the college in the Summer and said they could go together :)
Since everyone on Facebook has seen my Goodreads activity, I thought I should say something about books. I read...a lot... as you have probably guessed. I have a lot of Christian friends who only read Christian books and a couple of them have asked me about my reading selections so here are my reading habits. Yes, I do read Christian literature, but rarely add those books in on Goodreads because I consider Goodreads to be entertainment. I shop the Family Book Store as much as Amazon. I read from lots of different genre's but mostly right now I like YA Fiction because they are quick and easy reads, very character driven and easy to follow, which with my limited time and child interruptions, works well for me. I read completely for entertainment and not really for deep literary focus, spiritual enlightenment or self-help. I do tend to stick to a PG-13 rating, I don't like books with lots of language, sex or explicit content ( another reason I like YA) I do read some paranormal and fantasy stories, but I don't like books about Zombies, witches, or "real" vampires ( I don't consider Twilight to be real vampires) Some books I read are free because I belong to an Author Read to Review group that allows me to get free books gifted for review, these books I don't particularly choose although I can decline them, and I read books for a book club I belong to here in town. I do not choose these either, I just read the selection for the month. Soooo... keep these things in mind when you see books pop up and think " she is reading that?" If you have any recommendations for me, I love to hear about what other people read and get new Authors to check out.
As you can see, our lives are just as exciting as ever and we are still the wild party animals you all know and love :)
I hope everyone has a fabulous Holy Week, enjoys time with their family and friends and spends some time thinking about the Sacrifice Christ made just for you because He loves you, Thank the Lord for He is good, His love endures forever! Happy Easter!
-Emma prayed to receive Christ as her savior last week, she was so sweet and said God spoke to her and told her to let Him in and be her Lord. She is being baptised on Easter Sunday and we could not be happier for her. I will try to make a video or photo to show all of our away family this special time. I thank God for answered prayer and hope I can live up to my responsibility as a parent and raise her in the way He would have her to go.
-The other day Emma tells Lydia that she would never get in a fight unless it was a boy trying to kiss her or touch her, then she would punch him right in the face. She said Daddy had given her permission and she wouldn't be in trouble for punching a boy who was trying to kiss her. She also said she passed this info onto a boy in her class who said he was going to chase her across the playground. Said boy is no longer a threat...lol! (* note to self- talk to Jason about not promoting physical violence during recess, and remind him of those times he spent in detention because while it has been a while, he seems to have forgotten that in school- yes, you do get in trouble for fighting.)
- Flax seed is a miracle ingredient when watching cholesterol, I have made homemade noodles, biscuits and cornbread with little to no cholesterol by replacing eggs and oil with it, it is my new best friend in the fight for health.
- Emma was upset last week when she made her first B and lost her straight A honor roll status.. I wish I would have cared as much as she does when I was in school- she is definitely a type A personality and she doesn't get it from her slacker, procrastinating parents.
-Lydia is playing T-ball again this year, she is the only girl on the team, but doesn't seem to care.
- Zulilly is not just for children, I got a pair of Zumba shoes for half price. Now if I could just buy some talent I would be set.
- Jason is finishing up another semester of school soon and has to pick an elective to take over the Summer... it was a close call between Philosophy and Public Speaking, but I think he finally decided on Art.... ( I don't even know how to make the little face that should be inserted here..ha!).... this should be an interesting Summer. Emma was excited because she takes Art camp at the college in the Summer and said they could go together :)
Since everyone on Facebook has seen my Goodreads activity, I thought I should say something about books. I read...a lot... as you have probably guessed. I have a lot of Christian friends who only read Christian books and a couple of them have asked me about my reading selections so here are my reading habits. Yes, I do read Christian literature, but rarely add those books in on Goodreads because I consider Goodreads to be entertainment. I shop the Family Book Store as much as Amazon. I read from lots of different genre's but mostly right now I like YA Fiction because they are quick and easy reads, very character driven and easy to follow, which with my limited time and child interruptions, works well for me. I read completely for entertainment and not really for deep literary focus, spiritual enlightenment or self-help. I do tend to stick to a PG-13 rating, I don't like books with lots of language, sex or explicit content ( another reason I like YA) I do read some paranormal and fantasy stories, but I don't like books about Zombies, witches, or "real" vampires ( I don't consider Twilight to be real vampires) Some books I read are free because I belong to an Author Read to Review group that allows me to get free books gifted for review, these books I don't particularly choose although I can decline them, and I read books for a book club I belong to here in town. I do not choose these either, I just read the selection for the month. Soooo... keep these things in mind when you see books pop up and think " she is reading that?" If you have any recommendations for me, I love to hear about what other people read and get new Authors to check out.
As you can see, our lives are just as exciting as ever and we are still the wild party animals you all know and love :)
I hope everyone has a fabulous Holy Week, enjoys time with their family and friends and spends some time thinking about the Sacrifice Christ made just for you because He loves you, Thank the Lord for He is good, His love endures forever! Happy Easter!
Posted by
Victoria
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This year, for me, is all about changing habits. I have made changes in my spiritual habits. I have been reading my Bible and doing devotions with Jason and the girls daily. I have memorized one book of the Bible and am now working on another, I have prayed more frequently and more earnestly. I have made changes in my time management. I have been off of Facebook for a few weeks now and it has made a huge difference in my time, I have had more time to catch up on books that I am reading, crafts that I am making, garden work, planting, and more time to give to God and my family. Old habits are beginning to die out and new ones are slowly starting to form... good ones...better ones. A year of changing habits.
Now it is time to start working on the hardest habit for me to break. The habit (or lack thereof) of exercise...yes, that is right, exercise! ( I even struggled typing that out) I hate to exercise. I HATE it!!! I was always the skinny girl growing up. I was that girl...the one that never seemed to watch what she ate, the one who never played a sport, the one who only showed up to PE class to watch the guys work out. I ate Skittles and Coke for breakfast, I ate popcorn, pizza and doughnuts for lunch, and whatever for dinner. I ate fast food whenever possible, ate out everyday at work, and never did a minute of anything that would cause you to sweat or lose your breath. In fact, I am not sure I have ever really sweated...ever...at all! When I got married I wore a size 2 and for most of my life never payed attention to a scale, but all that changed when I got pregnant for the first time. I was pregnant three times in the next three years, the first one ended in miscarriage in the first weeks of my second trimester, but not before I had gained 10 pounds. The next two came two years apart and along with staying home, complications which required bed rest, and my lack of exercise and diet, they managed to bring along 20 more pounds. I have now held steady for the last 6 years, not really gaining, not really losing, just hanging out at about 20 pounds overweight.
This year Jason and I have had somewhat of a wake up call, the we are getting old and out of shape, wake up call. He went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago and found that now, not only does he still have to take high blood pressure medication, but he also has high cholesterol, and not just a little high, the "well Mr. Hartman, we will give you 3 months to bring it down or you will have to go on medication" kind of high. He is younger than me, 3 years younger than me, and we eat the same things. He eats what I cook, we eat out together, and we don't exercise... together. This means that if his is bad, mine is more than likely not far behind. I have a history of good genes on my side and the fact that I do eat more fruits and vegetables overall than he does, but he works a LOT harder than I do and...oh yeah, he is younger. I will be 40 this year. This is the year your metabolism slows down considerably, the year that you begin to have to work to maintain health. The year I need to start exercising.... and dieting... and sweating... o.k. maybe not too much sweating, but definitely the other two. I looked at the list of foods that the doctor gave to him and I thought to myself...oh my, we are there, we are at the turning point, we are at the "we can't go to Chili's, we need K & W" stage .... this is bad! I am not good at diet, I am not good at working out. I flunked Weight Watchers, I gained it all back. I flunked Jazzersize ( o.k., I didn't flunk, I quit). Jason decided that I flunked at the Y and he dropped my membership. My friend Brandy I went for a whole year, three nights a week, and I never lost anything or gained anything....such as...oh..muscle. We walked ( o.k. we strolled) the track, we sat on the machines to talk, and some nights we just gave up and went for milkshakes. He decided we could use the money for more important things and Brandy and I could hang out and walk through town for free ( which we did, and still didn't lose any weight) I am a diet failure! I like to eat and I hate to sweat, this is not a good combination. but...
This is a year of changing habits. Time to change mine. This is the only body I have, the only one God will ever give me here on Earth. The time has come,we have to change our diet. I am buying more whole and organic foods and hardly any processed ones. No more box meals. Time to cook the old fashioned way, from scratch. This is how you know what you are getting. This is the only way I can make sure what we eat is healthy. Time to exercise! There is no time like the present and Zumba has proven to be a great way to get the movement going and so far, I have not failed out, although some days my body wishes I would. My feet and ankles hurt a lot more now and my muscles are not happy with me. When I look at some of those young girls dancing away like they are in a club, enjoying the fun and not feeling the work, it is easy to try and tell myself I should just give up, but I remind myself that I used to be like them and I am still alive. God has blessed me with good health and a good body although I don't deserve it, and that could change in an instant. Today I have to do whatever it takes to be healthy and be a good steward of what God has provided. That means I may have to sacrifice some things and sweat a little ( very little), but I guess it is the least I can do. Changing habits for Him...a strong soul, a strong mind and now a strong body.... as the song we dance to at Zumba says...What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... and I am not dead yet!
Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul. 3 John 1:2
Now it is time to start working on the hardest habit for me to break. The habit (or lack thereof) of exercise...yes, that is right, exercise! ( I even struggled typing that out) I hate to exercise. I HATE it!!! I was always the skinny girl growing up. I was that girl...the one that never seemed to watch what she ate, the one who never played a sport, the one who only showed up to PE class to watch the guys work out. I ate Skittles and Coke for breakfast, I ate popcorn, pizza and doughnuts for lunch, and whatever for dinner. I ate fast food whenever possible, ate out everyday at work, and never did a minute of anything that would cause you to sweat or lose your breath. In fact, I am not sure I have ever really sweated...ever...at all! When I got married I wore a size 2 and for most of my life never payed attention to a scale, but all that changed when I got pregnant for the first time. I was pregnant three times in the next three years, the first one ended in miscarriage in the first weeks of my second trimester, but not before I had gained 10 pounds. The next two came two years apart and along with staying home, complications which required bed rest, and my lack of exercise and diet, they managed to bring along 20 more pounds. I have now held steady for the last 6 years, not really gaining, not really losing, just hanging out at about 20 pounds overweight.
This year Jason and I have had somewhat of a wake up call, the we are getting old and out of shape, wake up call. He went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago and found that now, not only does he still have to take high blood pressure medication, but he also has high cholesterol, and not just a little high, the "well Mr. Hartman, we will give you 3 months to bring it down or you will have to go on medication" kind of high. He is younger than me, 3 years younger than me, and we eat the same things. He eats what I cook, we eat out together, and we don't exercise... together. This means that if his is bad, mine is more than likely not far behind. I have a history of good genes on my side and the fact that I do eat more fruits and vegetables overall than he does, but he works a LOT harder than I do and...oh yeah, he is younger. I will be 40 this year. This is the year your metabolism slows down considerably, the year that you begin to have to work to maintain health. The year I need to start exercising.... and dieting... and sweating... o.k. maybe not too much sweating, but definitely the other two. I looked at the list of foods that the doctor gave to him and I thought to myself...oh my, we are there, we are at the turning point, we are at the "we can't go to Chili's, we need K & W" stage .... this is bad! I am not good at diet, I am not good at working out. I flunked Weight Watchers, I gained it all back. I flunked Jazzersize ( o.k., I didn't flunk, I quit). Jason decided that I flunked at the Y and he dropped my membership. My friend Brandy I went for a whole year, three nights a week, and I never lost anything or gained anything....such as...oh..muscle. We walked ( o.k. we strolled) the track, we sat on the machines to talk, and some nights we just gave up and went for milkshakes. He decided we could use the money for more important things and Brandy and I could hang out and walk through town for free ( which we did, and still didn't lose any weight) I am a diet failure! I like to eat and I hate to sweat, this is not a good combination. but...
This is a year of changing habits. Time to change mine. This is the only body I have, the only one God will ever give me here on Earth. The time has come,we have to change our diet. I am buying more whole and organic foods and hardly any processed ones. No more box meals. Time to cook the old fashioned way, from scratch. This is how you know what you are getting. This is the only way I can make sure what we eat is healthy. Time to exercise! There is no time like the present and Zumba has proven to be a great way to get the movement going and so far, I have not failed out, although some days my body wishes I would. My feet and ankles hurt a lot more now and my muscles are not happy with me. When I look at some of those young girls dancing away like they are in a club, enjoying the fun and not feeling the work, it is easy to try and tell myself I should just give up, but I remind myself that I used to be like them and I am still alive. God has blessed me with good health and a good body although I don't deserve it, and that could change in an instant. Today I have to do whatever it takes to be healthy and be a good steward of what God has provided. That means I may have to sacrifice some things and sweat a little ( very little), but I guess it is the least I can do. Changing habits for Him...a strong soul, a strong mind and now a strong body.... as the song we dance to at Zumba says...What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... and I am not dead yet!
Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul. 3 John 1:2
Posted by
Victoria
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I am a child of the '80's, a teenager/ Young adult of the '90's, a generation X'er as it is known. I remember life before cell phones, computers and the Internet. I remember what it was like to have to call someone, open a phonebook, read a map, a cookbook, shop at a real store. When I was in high school no one had a cell phone. My computer class in 11th grade was all DOS based programing, no windows. I could write a program to make my name scroll along the screen and make faces appear. I had a book of programs at home that would let me play games on our very large Commodore 64 computer, it would take hours to type it all in just to make it play basic games with lines and dots. There was a time when my parents would have had to call the Mall and have me paged to the information desk if they wanted to talk to me on a Friday night ( which never happened). Once, A friend of mine and I got lost one night coming home from Elkin and ended up in VA..(long story, don't ask) Two 18 year old girls at a Welcome center in another state at 1 am, scrounging change out of the bottom of the floorboards in order to use the pay phone so we could call her boyfriend to get directions back home.... no cell phones, no GPS. It cost over a dollar to make the call and he was so mad at her he hung up on us without telling us how to get home, so a lady with her dog and milkshake in her hand dug in her floorboard to give us another 1.00 so that I could call Jason to get directions, he was angry, he informed me how dangerous it was for us to be there, and he made endless amounts of sarcastic comments about what we were doing and why we were there, but luckily he cared enough to actually help us get back to the highway and home... this would be unheard of and dangerous today, but it was the way it was in '92. No cute Facebook status about being at the rest area with a crazy dog lady and the old, fat truck driver, no quick text to a friend or a check-in from VA, just us, some change and a prayer that someone would be home to answer the call.
Now just a decade or so later, we are completely dependent on Internet, cellphones, GPS, and Google. We never open a book to find info, we just Google it, we never open a map we turn on the Tom Tom or open the latest map App. We never talk to someone and hear their voice, we just type a bunch of letters and symbols to send a message and we use fake cartoon faces to convey our moods, we think in short sentences and we hide behind our keyboards, we never make a photo album, we have everything stored on memory cards and DVD's, our children do cute things and ask us to put it on Facebook. We tell random strangers where we are eating and what we are doing. We show them every part of our lives from the exciting to the mundane and then we check back to see if they "like" what we put or if they commented on our cute child, our Pinterest worthy crafts, or our fabulous home cooked meal. Technology...an easier life.. a harder life. Technology is supposed to save us so much time and yet we find we have no time.
I read a blog about Lent and sacrifice and making things more important than God and I thought of Facebook for me, how much time I waste on it, how many times a day I peek at it, how much I dislike it sometimes, but yet still go back and look some more, and I decided that I would try life the old fashioned way...for 40 days... days that I would rediscover my life without status updates and photo documentation and drama and politics and all the other mess. I am now 10 days in and here is what I have found to be good and not so good about my life without Facebook.
Things I have missed:
-Friends, seeing what they are doing and keeping in touch.
-Prayer updates, I follow several peoples struggles and journeys with cancer, illness and troubles. I pray for them based on what they say they need prayer for, these past ten days I have not known what to pray for or how they are doing and I find myself thinking about them more and feeling inadequate in my prayers for them.
-doing things the easy way, checking Facebook to find out if church is canceled, if the roads are bad, if school is delayed, if Zumba is on schedule, etc. , etc. Facebook has made it so easy to not have to actually call anyone or look anything up that now it seems like a chore to have to search for the info on my own...sad...but true
Things I have not missed:
-Friends, it is sad, but we tend to judge ourselves based on how many Facebook friends we have. I have over 200 "friends" on Facebook and yet only a handful that I actually see and talk to or correspond with. Any given status update I post may have a couple of comments or 10 or so likes out of all those friends. There are only a few who actually keep up with what is happening in my life and care to respond or talk. So many people say "well, I read and keep up with you, I just don't comment or say anything." to me that is not friendship. Friendship is about sharing life not just observing it; however, I am the same with a lot of my contacts as well. I don't comment or correspond with half the people I am friends with, so why do I keep them on my list? Would they notice if I took them off? Would I notice if they took me off of theirs? Most people don't really care if we are on Facebook or not, the people who are really our friends will see us or keep up with us anyway and the others will just move on, probably half of my list doesn't even know I am gone...sad....but true.
-drama, I have had issues lately with Facebook drama. I have family members and friends who are tied in with people that I am not friends with and it makes it very difficult when those who I am not friends with can see and interfere with what I post. Lately it has caused me to feel like I am in a hard place between wanting to share and post with family and yet being very careful and guarded about what I post and share with them. I have to tread lightly with my husband and his feelings about what is shared and not shared. He has unresolved feelings, and strong ones, about some people who are tied in to me through Facebook. You don't always realize how much of your past hurt and anger is still ingrained in the deepest parts of you until it is dredged up and thrown at you. It is not worth the stress and mess to me to drag up feelings and anger and stress for him that have not been a problem in our lives for the past 20 years and shouldn't be now, just because of Facebook. We live a no drama, low stress life and I intend to keep it that way.
-politics, I have in no way missed a single political posting. I am tired of them, they don't change anything, they don't prove anything, they serve no purpose other than keeping people debating, arguing and angry. I haven't heard or seen anything political in over a week and it has been wonderful.
-misguided quotes. I have not missed a single cute photo with a touching quote or life lesson, most of them are contributed to people who didn't actually say them and if you really love the people in your lives or at the other end of the sofa, can't you just look over the top of your laptop or phone and just tell them instead of posting mushy love quotes to them and 300 of your closest friends. This is just me, I am not mushy, don't take offense if you are a poster of cute sayings, if you love your children and your husband and generally like to post every life lesson you can find in sentence form with a tranquil beach behind it.. it is o.k., I am simply saying I haven't missed them on my wall.
So this has been a long post, mostly because life has been quiet here these last ten days, but a good quiet. Yes, I miss checking in with friends and laughing at everyone's cute children and funny life moments and I will be back I am sure. I have felt at times isolated and out of touch. My house is quiet during the day, but I have found that my time is spent so much more wisely. My house is clean, my laundry is done, I have finished memorizing the book of James, I have prayed on a regular schedule, I have cooked and crafted and played games with the girls, I have exercised and lost 5 pounds, I have read books and went to book club, I have e-mailed and talked on the phone, I have enjoyed sharing stories and funny things with my Mom before she has already heard it five times from everyone else. I have enjoyed sharing stories with Jason when he gets home from work that he hasn't already seen on Facebook.
Life without Facebook still goes on and it is good!
Now just a decade or so later, we are completely dependent on Internet, cellphones, GPS, and Google. We never open a book to find info, we just Google it, we never open a map we turn on the Tom Tom or open the latest map App. We never talk to someone and hear their voice, we just type a bunch of letters and symbols to send a message and we use fake cartoon faces to convey our moods, we think in short sentences and we hide behind our keyboards, we never make a photo album, we have everything stored on memory cards and DVD's, our children do cute things and ask us to put it on Facebook. We tell random strangers where we are eating and what we are doing. We show them every part of our lives from the exciting to the mundane and then we check back to see if they "like" what we put or if they commented on our cute child, our Pinterest worthy crafts, or our fabulous home cooked meal. Technology...an easier life.. a harder life. Technology is supposed to save us so much time and yet we find we have no time.
I read a blog about Lent and sacrifice and making things more important than God and I thought of Facebook for me, how much time I waste on it, how many times a day I peek at it, how much I dislike it sometimes, but yet still go back and look some more, and I decided that I would try life the old fashioned way...for 40 days... days that I would rediscover my life without status updates and photo documentation and drama and politics and all the other mess. I am now 10 days in and here is what I have found to be good and not so good about my life without Facebook.
Things I have missed:
-Friends, seeing what they are doing and keeping in touch.
-Prayer updates, I follow several peoples struggles and journeys with cancer, illness and troubles. I pray for them based on what they say they need prayer for, these past ten days I have not known what to pray for or how they are doing and I find myself thinking about them more and feeling inadequate in my prayers for them.
-doing things the easy way, checking Facebook to find out if church is canceled, if the roads are bad, if school is delayed, if Zumba is on schedule, etc. , etc. Facebook has made it so easy to not have to actually call anyone or look anything up that now it seems like a chore to have to search for the info on my own...sad...but true
Things I have not missed:
-Friends, it is sad, but we tend to judge ourselves based on how many Facebook friends we have. I have over 200 "friends" on Facebook and yet only a handful that I actually see and talk to or correspond with. Any given status update I post may have a couple of comments or 10 or so likes out of all those friends. There are only a few who actually keep up with what is happening in my life and care to respond or talk. So many people say "well, I read and keep up with you, I just don't comment or say anything." to me that is not friendship. Friendship is about sharing life not just observing it; however, I am the same with a lot of my contacts as well. I don't comment or correspond with half the people I am friends with, so why do I keep them on my list? Would they notice if I took them off? Would I notice if they took me off of theirs? Most people don't really care if we are on Facebook or not, the people who are really our friends will see us or keep up with us anyway and the others will just move on, probably half of my list doesn't even know I am gone...sad....but true.
-drama, I have had issues lately with Facebook drama. I have family members and friends who are tied in with people that I am not friends with and it makes it very difficult when those who I am not friends with can see and interfere with what I post. Lately it has caused me to feel like I am in a hard place between wanting to share and post with family and yet being very careful and guarded about what I post and share with them. I have to tread lightly with my husband and his feelings about what is shared and not shared. He has unresolved feelings, and strong ones, about some people who are tied in to me through Facebook. You don't always realize how much of your past hurt and anger is still ingrained in the deepest parts of you until it is dredged up and thrown at you. It is not worth the stress and mess to me to drag up feelings and anger and stress for him that have not been a problem in our lives for the past 20 years and shouldn't be now, just because of Facebook. We live a no drama, low stress life and I intend to keep it that way.
-politics, I have in no way missed a single political posting. I am tired of them, they don't change anything, they don't prove anything, they serve no purpose other than keeping people debating, arguing and angry. I haven't heard or seen anything political in over a week and it has been wonderful.
-misguided quotes. I have not missed a single cute photo with a touching quote or life lesson, most of them are contributed to people who didn't actually say them and if you really love the people in your lives or at the other end of the sofa, can't you just look over the top of your laptop or phone and just tell them instead of posting mushy love quotes to them and 300 of your closest friends. This is just me, I am not mushy, don't take offense if you are a poster of cute sayings, if you love your children and your husband and generally like to post every life lesson you can find in sentence form with a tranquil beach behind it.. it is o.k., I am simply saying I haven't missed them on my wall.
So this has been a long post, mostly because life has been quiet here these last ten days, but a good quiet. Yes, I miss checking in with friends and laughing at everyone's cute children and funny life moments and I will be back I am sure. I have felt at times isolated and out of touch. My house is quiet during the day, but I have found that my time is spent so much more wisely. My house is clean, my laundry is done, I have finished memorizing the book of James, I have prayed on a regular schedule, I have cooked and crafted and played games with the girls, I have exercised and lost 5 pounds, I have read books and went to book club, I have e-mailed and talked on the phone, I have enjoyed sharing stories and funny things with my Mom before she has already heard it five times from everyone else. I have enjoyed sharing stories with Jason when he gets home from work that he hasn't already seen on Facebook.
Life without Facebook still goes on and it is good!
Posted by
Victoria
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"Happy Valentine's Day" my children told me at Breakfast. I had almost forgotten that today was the day. The middle of the week, school calling, rushing, dressing, eating, brushing hair, not thinking to much about love and hugs and kisses until it is time to run to the car and wave them off to school. The morning rush puts a damper on love and gifts and Valentines. I gave them hugs and kisses and said "I love You" as they headed out the door in their pink shirts covered in hearts. " Happy day of Love" my youngest shouted as they pulled out of the driveway. I came in and sat down and pulled out their little gift bags full of stickers and books and teddy bears and thought about how much Valentine's Day has changed for me. I have so much to be thankful for, so much love in our home, in our hearts...in my life.
Everyday is a day to show our love, not just Valentine's day, but I do love this holiday. I love heart shaped toast for breakfast, chocolate hearts and pink peep candy. I love the little paper Valentines the girls bring home and the extra hugs and kisses that I get all day long. It is a day to remember what is important in life, our families, our friends , our God and our love. "We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19. God created us to love Him, he filled us with love and He demonstrated His love for us in that while we were still sinners He sent His son to die for us, He showed us the most perfect form of love so that we could love others and share that gift of love He gave us with them. I Love love....
My first Valentine's Day with Jason was spent sitting on his porch ( he was grounded...haha) I wasn't supposed to be there but he had called and said his parents were gone for a while and I should come over and... well? What was I supposed to do... teenage love is a complicated thing. I had not thought I would see him so I had bought a basket of chocolate and had it delivered... I am sure he was totally embarrassed, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Now here we were sitting the porch, two young teenagers, not sure what to say or do... he gave me three roses for the three words " I love you" and a card. We were nervous and awkward and embarrassed. He wasn't exactly a "love-showing" kind of guy and I was not a really mushy romance girl so we just sat there and mumbled I Love You and thanks and then his Mom pulled in the driveway and caught us there... Love left quickly as fear kicked in. I remember the look we got and the voice that had me running to my car and leaving without even a goodbye, I also remember laughing all the way home with butterflies in my stomach...first love.
A few years later, we went to a fancy restaurant all dressed up and pretending like we knew what we were doing, we even paid for valet parking and then laughed as we sipped our Tea and tried to figure out how not to embarrass ourselves. No more awkwardness or nerves just laughter and fun... comfortable love.
Years went by and the Valentine's days of married life became movie nights, home cooked meals and dates at the Mall, holding hands, and spending time together... lasting love.
Now here we sit 23 years later and Valentine's Day has become heart stickers, colored paper hearts with misspelled love words, candy hearts and sweet hugs and kisses. Today Jason and I went to Olive Garden for lunch, we talked and laughed and enjoyed a simple lunch hour together. Later we had a Valentine scavenger hunt for the girls ending with coloring books and light up heart balls. A smile on their faces, a smile in our hearts. While Jason and I shared a huge chocolate Hershey kiss, I thought about how far life has come, how much our love has grown, first it was us, now it includes two little girls who love to love, who light up when you hug them, who squeal with delight over a note in their lunch box and a pixie stick in their book bag... girls who have their Daddy's hair and their Mommy's laughter, a little piece of both of us, a product of our love, created by God to give love back to Him and others. "We love because He first loved us".... Our hearts just keep growing and keep loving, no matter how long we live, no matter how big or small our families are, whether we have a lot of people to love or just a few... we just keep loving, because He loved us and He put that love in us and around us and it comes through us and flows out of us, it isn't always easy and it takes work sometimes, but it is always there if we choose it, not just one day a year, but everyday.....true love.
1 John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.
Everyday is a day to show our love, not just Valentine's day, but I do love this holiday. I love heart shaped toast for breakfast, chocolate hearts and pink peep candy. I love the little paper Valentines the girls bring home and the extra hugs and kisses that I get all day long. It is a day to remember what is important in life, our families, our friends , our God and our love. "We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19. God created us to love Him, he filled us with love and He demonstrated His love for us in that while we were still sinners He sent His son to die for us, He showed us the most perfect form of love so that we could love others and share that gift of love He gave us with them. I Love love....
My first Valentine's Day with Jason was spent sitting on his porch ( he was grounded...haha) I wasn't supposed to be there but he had called and said his parents were gone for a while and I should come over and... well? What was I supposed to do... teenage love is a complicated thing. I had not thought I would see him so I had bought a basket of chocolate and had it delivered... I am sure he was totally embarrassed, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Now here we were sitting the porch, two young teenagers, not sure what to say or do... he gave me three roses for the three words " I love you" and a card. We were nervous and awkward and embarrassed. He wasn't exactly a "love-showing" kind of guy and I was not a really mushy romance girl so we just sat there and mumbled I Love You and thanks and then his Mom pulled in the driveway and caught us there... Love left quickly as fear kicked in. I remember the look we got and the voice that had me running to my car and leaving without even a goodbye, I also remember laughing all the way home with butterflies in my stomach...first love.
A few years later, we went to a fancy restaurant all dressed up and pretending like we knew what we were doing, we even paid for valet parking and then laughed as we sipped our Tea and tried to figure out how not to embarrass ourselves. No more awkwardness or nerves just laughter and fun... comfortable love.
Years went by and the Valentine's days of married life became movie nights, home cooked meals and dates at the Mall, holding hands, and spending time together... lasting love.
Now here we sit 23 years later and Valentine's Day has become heart stickers, colored paper hearts with misspelled love words, candy hearts and sweet hugs and kisses. Today Jason and I went to Olive Garden for lunch, we talked and laughed and enjoyed a simple lunch hour together. Later we had a Valentine scavenger hunt for the girls ending with coloring books and light up heart balls. A smile on their faces, a smile in our hearts. While Jason and I shared a huge chocolate Hershey kiss, I thought about how far life has come, how much our love has grown, first it was us, now it includes two little girls who love to love, who light up when you hug them, who squeal with delight over a note in their lunch box and a pixie stick in their book bag... girls who have their Daddy's hair and their Mommy's laughter, a little piece of both of us, a product of our love, created by God to give love back to Him and others. "We love because He first loved us".... Our hearts just keep growing and keep loving, no matter how long we live, no matter how big or small our families are, whether we have a lot of people to love or just a few... we just keep loving, because He loved us and He put that love in us and around us and it comes through us and flows out of us, it isn't always easy and it takes work sometimes, but it is always there if we choose it, not just one day a year, but everyday.....true love.
1 John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.
