www.sandraevertson.com
10 years ago
Posted by
Victoria
comments (1)
They say time flies when you are having fun. Well, I don't know about the fun part but the time flies sure seems accurate. I can't not believe that I am entering into a new year already. It seems like only yesterday when I was thinking ahead to all the things I was going to do in 2012. My goals to use time more wisely, be a more godly example, lose weight... all those things I wanted to better myself by doing, all those opportunities wisked by in a blur, and now the year is over and how have I done? I have failed, I may have accomplished a few things that I set out to do, but in the great scheme of things, in the areas that really counted, I have failed....again. I have been reflecting on these failures for the past several weeks. The taking down of Christmas decorations, the throwing away of the trash, the sweeping up of glitter, and tinsel, the fresh clean of the house marks the begining of the new year for me and I decided that resolutions were pointless, they never get fulfilled...just a wish to make me feel better... a hope for what I want to be and a disappointment for everything I am not, but then one day a few weeks ago I read this line on a blog and it said " a goal without a plan is just a dream" and it sparked something in me.
That is the problem, I make goals, but I don't make a plan for how to achieve them. I say I want to better this or be this or do that, but I don't set a plan of action. When we go on vacation, I am the planner. I make maps, I chart the route, I even make daily itineraries and look up eating options. I research for weeks the best places to see, the best places to stay and the best things to do. I make a travel book and include everything. I even plan activities for the girls in the car, etc.... so how come I don't plan my life like that? How come I am content to just wing it and hope that my goals are met?
So began my plans, this year will be different because this year will have a plan. I think even God smiled and shook His head that I finally figured something out, He knows I require a little extra work and help, so I think it was Him that lead me to this new blog I have been following... A Holy Experience blog by Ann Voskamp. How I had not heard of her, I don't know. I am up on my women of Faith, I read Beth Moore, I study Kay Arthur, I should be in the know, but somehow I missed out, maybe it is because God's timing is perfect and He led me to this blog just when I needed it most. I have been spiritually renewed in the past few weeks reading her blog, she has made me think of my life and what I say and do and some things just speak to us sometimes in ways we don't understand and this blog has been that little voice that I needed to hear at just the right time. In the midst of my failures, it has given me hope...for a new year, a new beginning, or as Ann states... moving forward.
I have been thinking about different people in the Bible who chose to follow Christ and how they didn't say things like " I think I am going to work on my witness" or " I am going to try to read more of those scriptures" they just did it! They didn't think about it and get back to it later, or "work on doing better" they just did it, they immediately dropped what they were doing and went, they were committed. Daniel made prayer his habit, everyday, even under fear of death. Paul made witnessing his habit, everyday, even under fear of inprisonment, beating, and death.
So... what are my habits? What do I do daily that I am committed to, that I make time for, that I would be willing to endure hardship to maintain?
Habit replaces habit, nail drives out nail. Another thing I have learned on Mrs. Voskamp's blog. We are creatures of habit, if we do anything for a length of time and make it a priority, then it will become a habit. If we take it away and replace it with something else, then the new thing will become our habit. Whatever we are committed to do, we make time for, whatever is not a priority we will make excuses for, this made me really take a step back, because I constantly use the phrase " I don't have time" or "I didn't have time" but yet there are a ton of useless things I do everyday that take time and I never say things like " I didn't have time to watch (insert favorite show)" or "I didn't have time to surf ( insert favorite website/social media site)" Habits.... it is all about plans, goals, and most of all habits!
Instead of resolutions this year, I am focusing on what habits I am changing, and then I am making the plan of how to change them... because this year for me is all about change! If 2012 taught me anything it is that our time on this Earth is short, our time with our families, our children, our loved ones, could end any minute, we could be meeting our Creator or we could be be meeting eternal torment in the blink of an eye ( and if that doesn't make us think twice about our choices and our habits, nothing will) ...what do we want to do with the time that we have? What do I want my habits here on Earth to say about me? These are the things I am thinking of as I start this new year... my year of renewal.. my year of change!
(to be continued......)
That is the problem, I make goals, but I don't make a plan for how to achieve them. I say I want to better this or be this or do that, but I don't set a plan of action. When we go on vacation, I am the planner. I make maps, I chart the route, I even make daily itineraries and look up eating options. I research for weeks the best places to see, the best places to stay and the best things to do. I make a travel book and include everything. I even plan activities for the girls in the car, etc.... so how come I don't plan my life like that? How come I am content to just wing it and hope that my goals are met?
So began my plans, this year will be different because this year will have a plan. I think even God smiled and shook His head that I finally figured something out, He knows I require a little extra work and help, so I think it was Him that lead me to this new blog I have been following... A Holy Experience blog by Ann Voskamp. How I had not heard of her, I don't know. I am up on my women of Faith, I read Beth Moore, I study Kay Arthur, I should be in the know, but somehow I missed out, maybe it is because God's timing is perfect and He led me to this blog just when I needed it most. I have been spiritually renewed in the past few weeks reading her blog, she has made me think of my life and what I say and do and some things just speak to us sometimes in ways we don't understand and this blog has been that little voice that I needed to hear at just the right time. In the midst of my failures, it has given me hope...for a new year, a new beginning, or as Ann states... moving forward.
I have been thinking about different people in the Bible who chose to follow Christ and how they didn't say things like " I think I am going to work on my witness" or " I am going to try to read more of those scriptures" they just did it! They didn't think about it and get back to it later, or "work on doing better" they just did it, they immediately dropped what they were doing and went, they were committed. Daniel made prayer his habit, everyday, even under fear of death. Paul made witnessing his habit, everyday, even under fear of inprisonment, beating, and death.
So... what are my habits? What do I do daily that I am committed to, that I make time for, that I would be willing to endure hardship to maintain?
Habit replaces habit, nail drives out nail. Another thing I have learned on Mrs. Voskamp's blog. We are creatures of habit, if we do anything for a length of time and make it a priority, then it will become a habit. If we take it away and replace it with something else, then the new thing will become our habit. Whatever we are committed to do, we make time for, whatever is not a priority we will make excuses for, this made me really take a step back, because I constantly use the phrase " I don't have time" or "I didn't have time" but yet there are a ton of useless things I do everyday that take time and I never say things like " I didn't have time to watch (insert favorite show)" or "I didn't have time to surf ( insert favorite website/social media site)" Habits.... it is all about plans, goals, and most of all habits!
Instead of resolutions this year, I am focusing on what habits I am changing, and then I am making the plan of how to change them... because this year for me is all about change! If 2012 taught me anything it is that our time on this Earth is short, our time with our families, our children, our loved ones, could end any minute, we could be meeting our Creator or we could be be meeting eternal torment in the blink of an eye ( and if that doesn't make us think twice about our choices and our habits, nothing will) ...what do we want to do with the time that we have? What do I want my habits here on Earth to say about me? These are the things I am thinking of as I start this new year... my year of renewal.. my year of change!
(to be continued......)
Posted by
Victoria
comments (0)
Christmas is coming and the geese are getting fat, please put a penny in the old man's hat.... I have no idea why but from the time I was a little girl everytime someone says Christmas is coming I think of this song. My Mother used to sing it to me when I was young and I guess it just stuck. Today as I finished up my shopping and was checking out I heard a lady say to no one in particular "Christmas is coming but I am so not ready." and the sales clerk smiled and said " yes, I need some of that Christmas magic Santa uses so I can get everything on my list done, but it hasn't happened yet." I chuckled to myself and thought how can you not be ready? I am always ready for Christmas, it is my favorite holiday. I understand that she meant she still had things to buy and things to bake and things to wrap and in that sense I am not ready either, but to me being ready is not about any of those things, being ready is about anticipation, it is about the excitement that Christmas brings.
Christmas magic, it is not just the stuff of fairy tales and it isn't just for Santa either. Christmas has a feel all it's own, an excitement that surrounds it, the anticipation, it creates an atmosphere that could truly be described as magical.
Can you feel it? The magic of Christmas, the reason it is so exciting? and it isn't this old materialistic world of red suits and green money. The magic or spirit of Christmas isn't about the colorful packages, the ribbons and bows, the shopping, or even the activities. It isn't a big fat man in red suit bringing gifts that creates that special intensity, urgency, or magic as some like to refer to it.
The magic of Christmas is about a God that is so big the universe can't contain Him making himself so small that an animal food trough was enough to cradle Him. The magic of Christmas comes in the form of a crying, helpless, cold, shivering, hungry baby that made a King shake in fear, so fearful in fact, that he ordered every baby in the kingdom to be killed just to try and stop it. The baby that caused wise astrologers to leave their homes and families and comfort to set out on foot, not really knowing where it would lead or how long it would take to get there, to follow a star, with nothing but a hope that they would get a glimpse of salvation.
Now, I know that Christ wasn't really born on December 25, I know that there was not snow on the ground and that the stable wasn't a cute warm barn with animals silently sleeping around them and baby Jesus wrapped up sweetly smiling in the wooden manger. A tiny town, Bethlehem, not really known for anything special, a town that in today's time would be off the grid, not found by any GPS, just a little passing through kind of a town, but there was one day in History that it was full, full of people, full of activity, full of God. One day in time that would forever change little Bethlehem. Mary was a just a teenager, inexperienced, never been in labor, never had a baby to care for, more than likely had never left home before now, yet here she was, chosen by God to give birth to the Savior of mankind. I would love to have been able to know Mary, to know this girl who at a very young age had already found favor with God, so that He chose her out of all the women of the world, to be the Mother of Christ. Mary was in pain, she had just traveled days, on foot and maybe a donkey ( although I don't think the Bible actually mentions her riding on an animal) in labor. I have been in labor, it is not fun, and I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like with no medicine, no doctor, no midwife, and traveling on foot for hours, days....I am almost positive that Mary was not smiling when they arrived in Bethlehem. I can picture her tired, weary, crying, and then there was Joseph...Joseph, a first time husband and a first time Father, out on his own trying to provide for his brand new family. I see him banging frantically on doors asking for a place for them to sleep, going from one house to another, maybe a little panicked at the thought of his wife in labor and no rooms in town to lay their heads. Joseph, desperate, begging for a place for his wife to rest, so that when a man offered up his cattle cave, Joseph took it without hesitation. Anywhere was better than nowhere. The barn was more than likely a cave, a cold, dark, maybe a little candle light, damp, smelly cave, carved out of the side of a mountain. The animals were probably loud and confused by this human family nesting down in their home. That manger trough, more likely made of stone than wood, carved out to hold the hay and straw. It was hard, cold, and I am sure it didn't smell nice. I have only small house animals and their food bowls and bedding areas smell so I can only guess what that cave smelled like. Sometime in the night, in that crowded, dirty, stable in that busy little tiny town, the Light of the World entered the darkness in the most humble of ways... naked, hungry, small, and weak...a baby crying out. Shepherds, the lowest of the low, the ones no one thought much about in town, those shepherds always out in the fields, smelly, dirty, unkempt. They spent days at a time camping out in those fields, outside of town, the fringes of society, those lowly shepherds who lay forgotten on the ground, of course God always thinks of the lowest first, so unlike us. God chose to make His birth announcement to the least of us first, and what an announcement it was. A sky full of angelic glory, a bright light in the dark night, a glimpse of Heaven chanting their praises and announcing a Savior, I cannot begin to fathom what that would have been like. Shepherds cowering in fear and watching in awe, both amazed and speechless all at once. They went running into town as fast as they could go, to see this baby that Angels declared was Christ the Lord. God made flesh, God among us, is there anything that makes us more ready for Christmas than that? There were no wisemen in that cave, they were still hundreds of miles away, no Christmas gifts yet arriving for baby Jesus. Just a few strips of cloth to wrap him up, an exhausted Mother and a nervous Father, along with a few shepherds and maybe a few stunned townsfolk hanging around.
That was God's plan, from the moment Adam took his first bite of forbidden fruit thousands of years before in the garden, God's plan was already in place, He was already preparing us for Christmas. He was the gift, He was our gift, all wrapped up in cloth and straw, just waiting for us to take hold of Him and accept the greatest gift we could have ever received.
The plan for our Salvation had arrived, God was ready to redeem us, He was ready to be us! God was willing to leave a perfect Heaven and come to a broken Earth just so he could walk among us, He left his throne to lay in a manger, He left a non-stop chorus of praise in Heaven to come and be taunted, ridiculed, beaten and killed... sacrificed, just for us. He felt our hunger, He felt our pain, He felt our weakness, He felt our temptation, and He chose to come and live as us so that He could understand us, and so that we could see what perfection looked like, so He could be that final sacrifice we needed, once and for all. That baby laying in that trough crying in the night was our only way back to Heaven, back to perfection, back to God, our creator, who loves us so much that all he asks us to do in return is believe... trust Him, follow Him, praise Him, believe! That is the spirit of Christmas, that is the anticipation, that is what makes the magic... Are you ready?
Christmas magic, it is not just the stuff of fairy tales and it isn't just for Santa either. Christmas has a feel all it's own, an excitement that surrounds it, the anticipation, it creates an atmosphere that could truly be described as magical.
Can you feel it? The magic of Christmas, the reason it is so exciting? and it isn't this old materialistic world of red suits and green money. The magic or spirit of Christmas isn't about the colorful packages, the ribbons and bows, the shopping, or even the activities. It isn't a big fat man in red suit bringing gifts that creates that special intensity, urgency, or magic as some like to refer to it.
The magic of Christmas is about a God that is so big the universe can't contain Him making himself so small that an animal food trough was enough to cradle Him. The magic of Christmas comes in the form of a crying, helpless, cold, shivering, hungry baby that made a King shake in fear, so fearful in fact, that he ordered every baby in the kingdom to be killed just to try and stop it. The baby that caused wise astrologers to leave their homes and families and comfort to set out on foot, not really knowing where it would lead or how long it would take to get there, to follow a star, with nothing but a hope that they would get a glimpse of salvation.
Now, I know that Christ wasn't really born on December 25, I know that there was not snow on the ground and that the stable wasn't a cute warm barn with animals silently sleeping around them and baby Jesus wrapped up sweetly smiling in the wooden manger. A tiny town, Bethlehem, not really known for anything special, a town that in today's time would be off the grid, not found by any GPS, just a little passing through kind of a town, but there was one day in History that it was full, full of people, full of activity, full of God. One day in time that would forever change little Bethlehem. Mary was a just a teenager, inexperienced, never been in labor, never had a baby to care for, more than likely had never left home before now, yet here she was, chosen by God to give birth to the Savior of mankind. I would love to have been able to know Mary, to know this girl who at a very young age had already found favor with God, so that He chose her out of all the women of the world, to be the Mother of Christ. Mary was in pain, she had just traveled days, on foot and maybe a donkey ( although I don't think the Bible actually mentions her riding on an animal) in labor. I have been in labor, it is not fun, and I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like with no medicine, no doctor, no midwife, and traveling on foot for hours, days....I am almost positive that Mary was not smiling when they arrived in Bethlehem. I can picture her tired, weary, crying, and then there was Joseph...Joseph, a first time husband and a first time Father, out on his own trying to provide for his brand new family. I see him banging frantically on doors asking for a place for them to sleep, going from one house to another, maybe a little panicked at the thought of his wife in labor and no rooms in town to lay their heads. Joseph, desperate, begging for a place for his wife to rest, so that when a man offered up his cattle cave, Joseph took it without hesitation. Anywhere was better than nowhere. The barn was more than likely a cave, a cold, dark, maybe a little candle light, damp, smelly cave, carved out of the side of a mountain. The animals were probably loud and confused by this human family nesting down in their home. That manger trough, more likely made of stone than wood, carved out to hold the hay and straw. It was hard, cold, and I am sure it didn't smell nice. I have only small house animals and their food bowls and bedding areas smell so I can only guess what that cave smelled like. Sometime in the night, in that crowded, dirty, stable in that busy little tiny town, the Light of the World entered the darkness in the most humble of ways... naked, hungry, small, and weak...a baby crying out. Shepherds, the lowest of the low, the ones no one thought much about in town, those shepherds always out in the fields, smelly, dirty, unkempt. They spent days at a time camping out in those fields, outside of town, the fringes of society, those lowly shepherds who lay forgotten on the ground, of course God always thinks of the lowest first, so unlike us. God chose to make His birth announcement to the least of us first, and what an announcement it was. A sky full of angelic glory, a bright light in the dark night, a glimpse of Heaven chanting their praises and announcing a Savior, I cannot begin to fathom what that would have been like. Shepherds cowering in fear and watching in awe, both amazed and speechless all at once. They went running into town as fast as they could go, to see this baby that Angels declared was Christ the Lord. God made flesh, God among us, is there anything that makes us more ready for Christmas than that? There were no wisemen in that cave, they were still hundreds of miles away, no Christmas gifts yet arriving for baby Jesus. Just a few strips of cloth to wrap him up, an exhausted Mother and a nervous Father, along with a few shepherds and maybe a few stunned townsfolk hanging around.
That was God's plan, from the moment Adam took his first bite of forbidden fruit thousands of years before in the garden, God's plan was already in place, He was already preparing us for Christmas. He was the gift, He was our gift, all wrapped up in cloth and straw, just waiting for us to take hold of Him and accept the greatest gift we could have ever received.
The plan for our Salvation had arrived, God was ready to redeem us, He was ready to be us! God was willing to leave a perfect Heaven and come to a broken Earth just so he could walk among us, He left his throne to lay in a manger, He left a non-stop chorus of praise in Heaven to come and be taunted, ridiculed, beaten and killed... sacrificed, just for us. He felt our hunger, He felt our pain, He felt our weakness, He felt our temptation, and He chose to come and live as us so that He could understand us, and so that we could see what perfection looked like, so He could be that final sacrifice we needed, once and for all. That baby laying in that trough crying in the night was our only way back to Heaven, back to perfection, back to God, our creator, who loves us so much that all he asks us to do in return is believe... trust Him, follow Him, praise Him, believe! That is the spirit of Christmas, that is the anticipation, that is what makes the magic... Are you ready?
Posted by
Victoria
comments (0)
I have come to the conclusion that Facebook and I have somewhat of a love/hate relationship. I love being able to connect with friends from my past and get to know new friends better. I love seeing the photos. Photos of vacations to places I may never get to go, photos of holidays, decorations, and fun activities that people are enjoying, photos of new babies and children playing and growing. I love that I can see who needs prayer and sometimes even pray for them right at the time they need it most. I love that my family in other parts of the country and friends around the world can be connected and feel as if they are close even when they are far away. Facebook has a lot of things to love, but the flip side of that is that are also a lot of things that are frustrating and aggravating and sometimes I find myself having to exercise a lot of self-control when hanging out on Facebook. Sometimes Facebook is a lesson in restraint.
I have been memorizing the book of James in the Bible. I wanted to hide God's word in my heart and be an example to my children and prove to myself that you are never to old to learn new things. I mean if I can learn the jingle to the latest advertisement on TV, and quote senseless movie lines, then I can learn God's word. James spends a lot of time talking about how we need to rein in our tongues, control our mouths and what comes out of them, in fact he makes some pretty strong comments about how evil our tongues are and how harmful our lack of self-control can be to ourselves, to our witness, and to others. Since I have been committing these words of his to memory, I find that I am much more conscience of what I say and the word of God pops into my head at times when I am thinking of saying things and it causes me to rethink what I may or may not be saying.
This brings me to the things I hate about Facebook. I hate that so many people lack restraint and self-control about what they type and what they make public. I hate that Facebook can be a breeding ground of hostility and disrespect among people who are supposed to be friends. I hate that social media makes it so easy to type out anonymously what you think, about pretty much anything, and that because you are not face to face people think that their words don't mean anything. People type the first thing that pops into their heads, whether it is hurtful, angry, resentful, sneaky, manipulative or disrespectful and then they click on to the next thing. I hate that friends of friends, who are no friends of mine, can see photos and posts and comments and can sometimes even comment on those things without even knowing me personally. I feel that if I have not "friended" you on Facebook you have not earned the right to see my children, my family, my activities. I have truly tried to have self-control from the very beginning of my time on Facebook. I try to be responsible for what I say and how I say it. My intent on Facebook is to enjoy my friends and enjoy the similarities and the differences in our lives, to be a Godly example, and to show the same restraint in my typed comments that I would show them if I was face to face.
There are some areas of Facebook that I have to really work to show restraint and hold my comments on. One is politics. I hate that everyone debates politics on Facebook, I was raised that your political views were your own and not anyone else's business. I may not like a politician, I may not like a law, I may not agree with a vote or an agenda or a friends opinion, but Facebook is really not the best way to get that point across. God calls us to respect those who are in authority over us and I don't think that bashing the candidates, posting false information, copying and pasting rude jokes, crude cartoons and fake ads are in line with God's word. The president did not cause every problem in the country, there are a vast number of politicians from the community level, state level, senate, congress and courts that all play a part in what gets passed and what gets voted down, so bashing the president and blaming him for absolutely everything is not a very good use of your time. Facebook and the Internet are full of lies, shocking, I know, and when you copy and paste things all over your wall that you have not bothered to check out and verify as fact then you are only hurting your own cause and at least some of your friends in the process. I feel it is important to restrain myself when it comes to politics on social media, I rarely comment on anything political, I don't engage in useless bantering and hurtful commenting, it is not worth losing friends and hurting those you love over a political opinion. My friends know that I am a Christian, they know that I am a conservative Christian and that I hold conservative Christian values. I do not feel the need to argue or be hurtful or disrespectful to those who I am friends with who don't share those values. I can agree to disagree and not love them less for not being me. It can be hard sometimes to read the opposing view or see that someone I respect or love doesn't feel just like me on certain issues, but embarrassing them, debating with them and making rude remarks is not going to win them over to my side, it is only going to further distance them from my opinion and myself.
Another area I struggle with is family issues. Yes, family, and I know some of my family and maybe some of Jason's family read this blog so I am going to show restraint even here, but this is my personal little blog space that I use to journal my own thoughts and opinions and this is an area I struggle with. Family on Facebook can be difficult. I love keeping up with them and I love seeing what they are up to and sharing our lives and our children's lives with each and every one of them, but just like the family I live with here in my own home don't always share the same views and opinions, family on Facebook doesn't either. I do honestly struggle with some of the things that family members post sometimes, some family members may not share the same values or morals or opinions that I do and it is easy to want to comment and insert my opinion, but just because I am sitting in my den and not facing them does not mean I get a free pass to say whatever I want or that I get to make public my differing opinion. I still love them even when we don't share the same opinion. There are also family members we aren't close to or who we don't really communicate with on both sides, but they are friends with other family members that we share our lives with, and this creates a little bit of a sticky mess for me sometimes because I don't necessarily think it is fair for those people to see our photos, share in our posts, or be able to follow our lives through someone else. I struggle when I see comments and posts from people that I am not friends with personally and who I may not talk to, on photos of my family and my children. It is hard to read them and not comment back or say what I think, but Facebook is not the place and it would be wrong for me and angering or hurtful to my husband, who doesn't usually see any of it, and doesn't need to. I think about how much of our lives are shared with people who have not really earned the right to share it with us, strangers, friends of friends of friends, and although I have nothing to hide and don't share things on Facebook that I don't want the world to see, it still takes restraint to not comment back or engage in conversations, that although may be linked to me through Facebook, are not really my business. The family I am connected to on Facebook, I love very much and would never want to say or post anything that would be hurtful or disrespectful to them, and I hope they would do the same for me, it is about having enough respect for someone's feelings that you exercise restraint.
Facebook... the place where everyone comes together and yet never sees each other, the place where lives can seem perfect and a perfect mess all in the course of an hour, the place where everyone thinks that they can say whatever they want no matter the consequence, a place where out of the same mouths can come both praise and cursing. The verse that has stood out to me the most this week from my memory work is this " With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come both praise and cursing, my Brothers and Sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water."
Facebook.....a lesson in restraint!
I have been memorizing the book of James in the Bible. I wanted to hide God's word in my heart and be an example to my children and prove to myself that you are never to old to learn new things. I mean if I can learn the jingle to the latest advertisement on TV, and quote senseless movie lines, then I can learn God's word. James spends a lot of time talking about how we need to rein in our tongues, control our mouths and what comes out of them, in fact he makes some pretty strong comments about how evil our tongues are and how harmful our lack of self-control can be to ourselves, to our witness, and to others. Since I have been committing these words of his to memory, I find that I am much more conscience of what I say and the word of God pops into my head at times when I am thinking of saying things and it causes me to rethink what I may or may not be saying.
This brings me to the things I hate about Facebook. I hate that so many people lack restraint and self-control about what they type and what they make public. I hate that Facebook can be a breeding ground of hostility and disrespect among people who are supposed to be friends. I hate that social media makes it so easy to type out anonymously what you think, about pretty much anything, and that because you are not face to face people think that their words don't mean anything. People type the first thing that pops into their heads, whether it is hurtful, angry, resentful, sneaky, manipulative or disrespectful and then they click on to the next thing. I hate that friends of friends, who are no friends of mine, can see photos and posts and comments and can sometimes even comment on those things without even knowing me personally. I feel that if I have not "friended" you on Facebook you have not earned the right to see my children, my family, my activities. I have truly tried to have self-control from the very beginning of my time on Facebook. I try to be responsible for what I say and how I say it. My intent on Facebook is to enjoy my friends and enjoy the similarities and the differences in our lives, to be a Godly example, and to show the same restraint in my typed comments that I would show them if I was face to face.
There are some areas of Facebook that I have to really work to show restraint and hold my comments on. One is politics. I hate that everyone debates politics on Facebook, I was raised that your political views were your own and not anyone else's business. I may not like a politician, I may not like a law, I may not agree with a vote or an agenda or a friends opinion, but Facebook is really not the best way to get that point across. God calls us to respect those who are in authority over us and I don't think that bashing the candidates, posting false information, copying and pasting rude jokes, crude cartoons and fake ads are in line with God's word. The president did not cause every problem in the country, there are a vast number of politicians from the community level, state level, senate, congress and courts that all play a part in what gets passed and what gets voted down, so bashing the president and blaming him for absolutely everything is not a very good use of your time. Facebook and the Internet are full of lies, shocking, I know, and when you copy and paste things all over your wall that you have not bothered to check out and verify as fact then you are only hurting your own cause and at least some of your friends in the process. I feel it is important to restrain myself when it comes to politics on social media, I rarely comment on anything political, I don't engage in useless bantering and hurtful commenting, it is not worth losing friends and hurting those you love over a political opinion. My friends know that I am a Christian, they know that I am a conservative Christian and that I hold conservative Christian values. I do not feel the need to argue or be hurtful or disrespectful to those who I am friends with who don't share those values. I can agree to disagree and not love them less for not being me. It can be hard sometimes to read the opposing view or see that someone I respect or love doesn't feel just like me on certain issues, but embarrassing them, debating with them and making rude remarks is not going to win them over to my side, it is only going to further distance them from my opinion and myself.
Another area I struggle with is family issues. Yes, family, and I know some of my family and maybe some of Jason's family read this blog so I am going to show restraint even here, but this is my personal little blog space that I use to journal my own thoughts and opinions and this is an area I struggle with. Family on Facebook can be difficult. I love keeping up with them and I love seeing what they are up to and sharing our lives and our children's lives with each and every one of them, but just like the family I live with here in my own home don't always share the same views and opinions, family on Facebook doesn't either. I do honestly struggle with some of the things that family members post sometimes, some family members may not share the same values or morals or opinions that I do and it is easy to want to comment and insert my opinion, but just because I am sitting in my den and not facing them does not mean I get a free pass to say whatever I want or that I get to make public my differing opinion. I still love them even when we don't share the same opinion. There are also family members we aren't close to or who we don't really communicate with on both sides, but they are friends with other family members that we share our lives with, and this creates a little bit of a sticky mess for me sometimes because I don't necessarily think it is fair for those people to see our photos, share in our posts, or be able to follow our lives through someone else. I struggle when I see comments and posts from people that I am not friends with personally and who I may not talk to, on photos of my family and my children. It is hard to read them and not comment back or say what I think, but Facebook is not the place and it would be wrong for me and angering or hurtful to my husband, who doesn't usually see any of it, and doesn't need to. I think about how much of our lives are shared with people who have not really earned the right to share it with us, strangers, friends of friends of friends, and although I have nothing to hide and don't share things on Facebook that I don't want the world to see, it still takes restraint to not comment back or engage in conversations, that although may be linked to me through Facebook, are not really my business. The family I am connected to on Facebook, I love very much and would never want to say or post anything that would be hurtful or disrespectful to them, and I hope they would do the same for me, it is about having enough respect for someone's feelings that you exercise restraint.
Facebook... the place where everyone comes together and yet never sees each other, the place where lives can seem perfect and a perfect mess all in the course of an hour, the place where everyone thinks that they can say whatever they want no matter the consequence, a place where out of the same mouths can come both praise and cursing. The verse that has stood out to me the most this week from my memory work is this " With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come both praise and cursing, my Brothers and Sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water."
Facebook.....a lesson in restraint!
Posted by
Victoria
comments (0)
A couple of weeks ago I was reading a blog that a friend of mine writes and she had shared some memories she had been thinking about and it was so sweet and I thought I need to do something like that, it is fun to think back every now and then, but I have been busy with holiday preperations and haven't thought much else about it until yesterday.
Riding in the car for long periods of time causes me to have a lot of random thoughts and observations which I usually like to share with others in the car whether they really want to hear it or not. Jason has learned that if we are on a car trip, I should either be driving (which keeps me focused on the radio and the road) or stocked up on candy and snacks (which keeps me focused on eating and sharing with the children) because if I am just riding, boredom kicks in quickly and everyone gets to join in on my randomness, which could include anything from "why do cows always face the same way in the field?" to " Did you know that you cannot really go a whole day without seeing a cow or an image of a cow?" ( try it out, it is almost immposible). I read billboards, change the radio station every five minutes, count license plates, look for antique malls, and generally drive everyone crazy.
Yesterday was no exception, as we traveled to see family and I was just riding along, all of a sudden I began to think about the holidays. I realized that for my husband and I this will be our twenty first Christmas together. I had to add that one up three times just to make sure I was right and yep, that was correct...21. I began to think back to that very first Christmas we were together and amazingly, I remembered it quite well. Jason says it is because girls remember weird firsts... first dates, first kisses, first anniversaries of all kinds of things, in other words, it is a girl thing. He didn't remember much of it at all, which didn't surprise me, since he doesn't remember what we did last week. I began thinking of our holidays together and how many things have changed over the years, and how many things have stayed the same.
That first Christmas, we were just teenagers, we had only been dating about two months. I had never met a single person in his family except for his brother, who I already knew from school, and his Grandparents, who I knew from church. I had never even been in his house when anyone else was home. We went out on a date a few days before Christmas, we ate out, saw a movie, Hook, I think, and then we went back to his house. His Dad was working, and I am not sure where the rest of his family was, but no one was home, at least none that I saw. We were both nervous because I had only been to his house a few times. I am not sure his parents knew about me yet and my parents weren't thrilled about me dating a younger guy who they didn't really approve of or know. ( typical parent, daughter dating, anxiety ) Looking back, that seems so funny. We sat downstairs in the basement room and exchanged our little gifts. I honestly can't remember what I got him (but I am sure it was good, because I always give him good presents...haha) but he got me clothes, which I remember thinking that he probably did not pick out, maybe his Grandmother, since he was not a shopper, and knew nothing about clothes, but they were very nice. I even remember what they looked like and what color they were. I was surprised he had bought me anything, since he wasn't working yet and we didn't know each other very well. It was late, we mumbled our thanks, it was an awkward teenage moment, but I went home that night...happy.
Who would have ever dreamed, that 21 years later, we would still be spending our Christmas' together. Life has changed so much in those twenty one years. Our love has grown, our family has grown, our Christmas traditions are very different from those early days, we have a home of our own, the faces around the tree have changed, our hair is grayer, we have children. It amazes me how far we have come and how much God has brought us through and how much He has changed us. I still love exchanging gifts and Jason now has two little shoppers to help him out. I feel like that young nervous girl with the butterflies in her stomach, tentatively opening a present in front of a cute guy is a lifetime away. I feel like that young nervous girl with the butterflies in her stomach, tentatively opening a present in front of a cute guy was yesterday. I may be older, I may be fatter, I may be a lifetime removed from that first Christmas with my love, but I still am that girl, with butterflies in her stomach, opening presents in front of a cute guy except it is no longer awkward and I am already at home but I am still...happy.
Riding in the car for long periods of time causes me to have a lot of random thoughts and observations which I usually like to share with others in the car whether they really want to hear it or not. Jason has learned that if we are on a car trip, I should either be driving (which keeps me focused on the radio and the road) or stocked up on candy and snacks (which keeps me focused on eating and sharing with the children) because if I am just riding, boredom kicks in quickly and everyone gets to join in on my randomness, which could include anything from "why do cows always face the same way in the field?" to " Did you know that you cannot really go a whole day without seeing a cow or an image of a cow?" ( try it out, it is almost immposible). I read billboards, change the radio station every five minutes, count license plates, look for antique malls, and generally drive everyone crazy.
Yesterday was no exception, as we traveled to see family and I was just riding along, all of a sudden I began to think about the holidays. I realized that for my husband and I this will be our twenty first Christmas together. I had to add that one up three times just to make sure I was right and yep, that was correct...21. I began to think back to that very first Christmas we were together and amazingly, I remembered it quite well. Jason says it is because girls remember weird firsts... first dates, first kisses, first anniversaries of all kinds of things, in other words, it is a girl thing. He didn't remember much of it at all, which didn't surprise me, since he doesn't remember what we did last week. I began thinking of our holidays together and how many things have changed over the years, and how many things have stayed the same.
That first Christmas, we were just teenagers, we had only been dating about two months. I had never met a single person in his family except for his brother, who I already knew from school, and his Grandparents, who I knew from church. I had never even been in his house when anyone else was home. We went out on a date a few days before Christmas, we ate out, saw a movie, Hook, I think, and then we went back to his house. His Dad was working, and I am not sure where the rest of his family was, but no one was home, at least none that I saw. We were both nervous because I had only been to his house a few times. I am not sure his parents knew about me yet and my parents weren't thrilled about me dating a younger guy who they didn't really approve of or know. ( typical parent, daughter dating, anxiety ) Looking back, that seems so funny. We sat downstairs in the basement room and exchanged our little gifts. I honestly can't remember what I got him (but I am sure it was good, because I always give him good presents...haha) but he got me clothes, which I remember thinking that he probably did not pick out, maybe his Grandmother, since he was not a shopper, and knew nothing about clothes, but they were very nice. I even remember what they looked like and what color they were. I was surprised he had bought me anything, since he wasn't working yet and we didn't know each other very well. It was late, we mumbled our thanks, it was an awkward teenage moment, but I went home that night...happy.
Who would have ever dreamed, that 21 years later, we would still be spending our Christmas' together. Life has changed so much in those twenty one years. Our love has grown, our family has grown, our Christmas traditions are very different from those early days, we have a home of our own, the faces around the tree have changed, our hair is grayer, we have children. It amazes me how far we have come and how much God has brought us through and how much He has changed us. I still love exchanging gifts and Jason now has two little shoppers to help him out. I feel like that young nervous girl with the butterflies in her stomach, tentatively opening a present in front of a cute guy is a lifetime away. I feel like that young nervous girl with the butterflies in her stomach, tentatively opening a present in front of a cute guy was yesterday. I may be older, I may be fatter, I may be a lifetime removed from that first Christmas with my love, but I still am that girl, with butterflies in her stomach, opening presents in front of a cute guy except it is no longer awkward and I am already at home but I am still...happy.
Posted by
Victoria
comments (0)
I love holidays, maybe this is part of the reason that Fall is my favorite season, because there are lots of them crammed into a few months, and each one is fun and special in its own way. I love cook-outs and end of Summer fun on Labor day. I love pumpkin patches and dress-up and the candy that comes with Halloween and I love sparkly lights, the smell of pine and the celebration of the birth of our savior that comes with Christmas, but one of my favorite holidays of the Fall season seems to be getting lost in a sea of red and green retail madness.
Thanksgiving....I love Thanksgiving. It is one of my very favorite holidays. Thanksgiving is the Macy's parade, the smell of pumpkin pie, the kitchen full of activity, family. It is one of the only holidays where no one expects a gift, you don't have to buy anything, wrap anything or feel pressured to have more or do more. There are no expectations to live up to. You can decorate as little or as much as you like. You can cook a huge spread or head to a local restaurant and eat out with no prep and no clean-up. You set the expectation, you get to choose what and how to celebrate it. The only requirement?... be thankful.
I have enjoyed the 30 days of Thankfulness that Facebook friends participate in, it is one of those Facebook fads that I normally wouldn't be a part of, but it helps Thanksgiving to not get lost and forgotten. I love reading what others are thankful for, and what they consider their blessings to be. I thank God, everytime I pray, for the many things that He provides for me. I list things out to Him everyday that I am thankful for from the little things like heat on a cold morning, to the big things like answered prayer in my life and in the lives of others, but having to stop and think and focus in on one specific thing everyday and share it with everyone, helps me remember what is truly important. I am thankful for so many things in my life from my salvation through Christ to family and friends, my health and my children's health, the list could go on and on and on. We should be thankful everyday of our lives for the many blessings we have, but Thanksgiving helps us to remember not to take things for granted, to think about what is truly important. The whole intention of Thanksgiving is to be thankful to God for the blessing he has poured out on you over the past year, no matter the difficulties, no matter how things have gone for you this past year, good or bad, there are always things to be thankful for (like the fact that you have the sight to read this post), we can always find things to praise God for and we should never let that get lost. In the middle of the shopping, decorating and running around, just stop, be still, enjoy the little things, like a good meal with family or friends and a good nap and most of all, give Thanks to the one from whom all blessings flow!
"In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." 1 thessalonians 5:18
Thanksgiving....I love Thanksgiving. It is one of my very favorite holidays. Thanksgiving is the Macy's parade, the smell of pumpkin pie, the kitchen full of activity, family. It is one of the only holidays where no one expects a gift, you don't have to buy anything, wrap anything or feel pressured to have more or do more. There are no expectations to live up to. You can decorate as little or as much as you like. You can cook a huge spread or head to a local restaurant and eat out with no prep and no clean-up. You set the expectation, you get to choose what and how to celebrate it. The only requirement?... be thankful.
I have enjoyed the 30 days of Thankfulness that Facebook friends participate in, it is one of those Facebook fads that I normally wouldn't be a part of, but it helps Thanksgiving to not get lost and forgotten. I love reading what others are thankful for, and what they consider their blessings to be. I thank God, everytime I pray, for the many things that He provides for me. I list things out to Him everyday that I am thankful for from the little things like heat on a cold morning, to the big things like answered prayer in my life and in the lives of others, but having to stop and think and focus in on one specific thing everyday and share it with everyone, helps me remember what is truly important. I am thankful for so many things in my life from my salvation through Christ to family and friends, my health and my children's health, the list could go on and on and on. We should be thankful everyday of our lives for the many blessings we have, but Thanksgiving helps us to remember not to take things for granted, to think about what is truly important. The whole intention of Thanksgiving is to be thankful to God for the blessing he has poured out on you over the past year, no matter the difficulties, no matter how things have gone for you this past year, good or bad, there are always things to be thankful for (like the fact that you have the sight to read this post), we can always find things to praise God for and we should never let that get lost. In the middle of the shopping, decorating and running around, just stop, be still, enjoy the little things, like a good meal with family or friends and a good nap and most of all, give Thanks to the one from whom all blessings flow!
"In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." 1 thessalonians 5:18
Posted by
Victoria
comments (1)
My daughter is growing up at a rapid pace. I see the changes in her almost daily and it is scary sometimes when I think of all I am responsible to teach her and I have so little time to accomplish it all. Now that she is in third grade I feel the challenges are becoming more frequent. Friends become more influential, peer pressure starts to creep in and the exposure to worldly viewpoints and values begin to invade her, so-far, sheltered exsistence. I have had more challenges and situations to explain in the last few months, than any other time before in her life. I knew it would get hard, I was just unprepared for how quickly and how young it would happen.
One of the challenges I have had lately came in the unexpected form of a school project. The assignment of a Family Tree and history project. Researching your roots, interviewing a family member, making a family tree. It sounds easy on the surface, no big deal really, an easy assignment for most, but I was stressed. Stressed, because when family is messy, it is confusing to an eight year old and to be honest, it is confusing to a thirty-eight year old, and because we chose to shelter her from the confusion early on, the family dynamics became somewhat of a vague mystery. This project made my heart pound and my head hurt. How was I going to explain that some people who she had been raised to believe were her family really weren't? and how was I going to explain who the people she never knew exsisted really were? I decided to put off the family tree part of the project until the last minute, she worked on the interviewing of her Nana, which was fun. She worked on picking out her cute scrapbooking papers and poured over my colored pens to write her findings with, which was fun. She never said a word about the family tree until...
"Mommy, who should I ask about the family tree, you or Daddy?" The time had come. My family is easy, I am an only child, I have parents who are still together after 40+ years and all my Grandparents had passed before my children were born, no problem. My husband's family is harder, he has family members he doesn't see or visit, people that he is reluctant to talk about or share stories about, there is divorce, and step-parents, and step-siblings. There are people who aren't actually related in any way, but who we love and enjoy and who my girls believe are family, and cousins, and Aunts, and Uncles. There are people they know only by name or photo that are key members of the family tree, but who have never been discussed or explained other than by name. I went to bed that night praying for God's wisdom on how to delicately explain, on an eight year old level, family.
God's word tells us that if we ask for wisdom, it will be given, and somehow God came through. I decided that everyone should know their roots, even an eight year old, and that it wasn't fair to her to not know exactly who is who. Family isn't always about blood, it is about the people who care for you, the people who love you, the people who build you up and support you and make you feel good about yourself. It is the people you spend time with, who watch you grow. The family legacy doesn't have to come only from your blood relatives, the family legacy that is passed down, comes from love. God laid on my heart to be open and honest, to explain and answer any questions she may have, to be truthful. The family tree project turned out to be the best thing we have done. I found that she had been wondering for a while about certain people and that she was very confused about how everyone fit together. I found that our sheltering her from the confusion had just caused more confusion, and that she was afraid to ask about it because she sensed that it was a touchy subject, but she really wanted to know. I found that through sharing stories and forcing ourselves, both my husband and I, to focus on positive things and funny moments and to relive positive experiences instead of negative, that we replaced anger and hurt with laughter and joy. I also found that the children at school had been talking about theirs and she had questions about their family situations as well and wanted to know what that meant for them. It has opened up opportunities for prayer, not only for our own family issues, but for her friends and schoolmates too. It is amazing to me how God uses something as simple as homework to show me what I need to be doing as a parent. God saying to me that it was time for my children to know where they come from, the good, the bad, the ugly, the messy. It was a weight lifted for both Jason and I, sometimes I don't know if God gave me my children for me to teach them or if he allowed me to have them so that they could teach me. Either way, I am blessed beyond measure and thankful for all those we call family.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13:7
One of the challenges I have had lately came in the unexpected form of a school project. The assignment of a Family Tree and history project. Researching your roots, interviewing a family member, making a family tree. It sounds easy on the surface, no big deal really, an easy assignment for most, but I was stressed. Stressed, because when family is messy, it is confusing to an eight year old and to be honest, it is confusing to a thirty-eight year old, and because we chose to shelter her from the confusion early on, the family dynamics became somewhat of a vague mystery. This project made my heart pound and my head hurt. How was I going to explain that some people who she had been raised to believe were her family really weren't? and how was I going to explain who the people she never knew exsisted really were? I decided to put off the family tree part of the project until the last minute, she worked on the interviewing of her Nana, which was fun. She worked on picking out her cute scrapbooking papers and poured over my colored pens to write her findings with, which was fun. She never said a word about the family tree until...
"Mommy, who should I ask about the family tree, you or Daddy?" The time had come. My family is easy, I am an only child, I have parents who are still together after 40+ years and all my Grandparents had passed before my children were born, no problem. My husband's family is harder, he has family members he doesn't see or visit, people that he is reluctant to talk about or share stories about, there is divorce, and step-parents, and step-siblings. There are people who aren't actually related in any way, but who we love and enjoy and who my girls believe are family, and cousins, and Aunts, and Uncles. There are people they know only by name or photo that are key members of the family tree, but who have never been discussed or explained other than by name. I went to bed that night praying for God's wisdom on how to delicately explain, on an eight year old level, family.
God's word tells us that if we ask for wisdom, it will be given, and somehow God came through. I decided that everyone should know their roots, even an eight year old, and that it wasn't fair to her to not know exactly who is who. Family isn't always about blood, it is about the people who care for you, the people who love you, the people who build you up and support you and make you feel good about yourself. It is the people you spend time with, who watch you grow. The family legacy doesn't have to come only from your blood relatives, the family legacy that is passed down, comes from love. God laid on my heart to be open and honest, to explain and answer any questions she may have, to be truthful. The family tree project turned out to be the best thing we have done. I found that she had been wondering for a while about certain people and that she was very confused about how everyone fit together. I found that our sheltering her from the confusion had just caused more confusion, and that she was afraid to ask about it because she sensed that it was a touchy subject, but she really wanted to know. I found that through sharing stories and forcing ourselves, both my husband and I, to focus on positive things and funny moments and to relive positive experiences instead of negative, that we replaced anger and hurt with laughter and joy. I also found that the children at school had been talking about theirs and she had questions about their family situations as well and wanted to know what that meant for them. It has opened up opportunities for prayer, not only for our own family issues, but for her friends and schoolmates too. It is amazing to me how God uses something as simple as homework to show me what I need to be doing as a parent. God saying to me that it was time for my children to know where they come from, the good, the bad, the ugly, the messy. It was a weight lifted for both Jason and I, sometimes I don't know if God gave me my children for me to teach them or if he allowed me to have them so that they could teach me. Either way, I am blessed beyond measure and thankful for all those we call family.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13:7
Posted by
Victoria
comments (0)
For the last 8 years when someone asked me what my job was I have answered with the words " I am a Stay at Home Mom". I have been home taking care of children since the day I found out I was pregnant with Emma. I didn't intend to be a stay at home Mom, I never even imagined that I would be home at all. I had worked since I was 16, and at the time I became pregnant, I worked over 40 hours a week as a hairdresser, and most weeks earned equal to if not more than my husband. I payed bills, paid for Summer vacations, bought what I wanted and had a car and credit in my name. I told everyone I was coming back to work as soon as the daycare would take them, but God had other plans. I had a difficult pregnancy that started with bedrest and ended with that baby going back to be with Jesus, so when I surprisingly became pregnant again just a few months later, the doctors wrote me out of work immediately. They didn't want me on my feet and breathing in chemicals, just to be safe, and this is when my stay at home adventure began. I didn't think we would make it, I didn't think we could afford it, I didn't think I could handle it, but God said otherwise. I prayed daily that God would provide our needs and each month I would consider it a success when the bills were paid and nothing had been repossessed or shut off. We downsized cars, we bundled bills, we canceled luxuries, we quit shopping for frivolous items and we realized day care is expensive and for us it was becoming more and more unneccessary. The weeks turned into months and the months turned into years and another child, layoffs, another town, another house and through it all God remained faithful and here it is 8 years later and I am still home and we are still making it, not always easily, but here we are.
Now my children have both grown past the preschool years and we have entered a new chapter, the elementary years. This presents me with bit of a problem because now I am no longer a stay at home Mom, I am still a Mom and I am still at home, but for 8 hours a day I am not a stay at home Mother, I am just a stay at home.... what? housewife? unemployed hairdresser? Now when people ask me I don't know what to say, I am just at home. Alone. I feel differently now. I always felt like I was working even though I was home because I was always busy, always had a child who needed something. They needed dressed, washed, played with, taught, kissed, bandaged, bathed, changed and something always needed cleaned, made, cooked, bought, but now the cleaning is less, the children only need early in the morning or late in the afternoon, lunch is whatever I eat. It is strange, this housewife exsistence. I feel like I am more accountable for accomplishing things so Jason doesn't think I am not productive enough, I feel like I need to be busy so I can justify my staying home. I feel the need to follow up that I stay home with "but I am going to look for a job soon". I shop with the retired ladies at the grocery store. I am a stay at home.... ?
But then God has been laying in my heart that this is the perfect time for me to be useful, both for my family and for His kingdom. I have time, time for volunteering, time for Bible study, time for me, to find who I am again outside of children and chaos, I have time to reconnect with Jason on his days off without children, and it has been great. I have time to organize my house the way I have wanted to for so long, I have time for making bread and planning meals, I have time to serve at the soup kitchen, and help out at school, and pray. I can have a whole conversation with God in peace, quiet time with Him, everyday, uninterrupted. I can hang out with my husband like we did when we were young, go out to lunch and talk. This has made me an even better stay at home Mom because now when the girls get home, I have time to play, time to listen, and since I have had time, I have more patience, more kindness and more love to share with them. I feel like a better wife, a better Mother ,and I think I can now provide a more Godly example to my family and those around me. I am so lucky to have a husband who works hard to support us, who never says a word about what I do during the day, even when he comes home and the house is still messy and the laundry isn't done, he never says get a job or asks when I am going to go back to work. He just thanks me for taking care of them, and tells me to enjoy this time and that I will always be a Mommy whether they are here all day or not, and this past week when Lydia was sick all week I realized that I am still thankful to be home and available to care for her and that they still need me here even when they are at school. I am still thinking about a job even if it is part time, but for now I am just going to enjoy this new normal. God's timing is perfect and I am thankful he allowed us to have our children when He did and that He provides for us daily so that I can be a stay at home...something. I pray I use this time He has given me wisely for both my family and for Him.
The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9
Now my children have both grown past the preschool years and we have entered a new chapter, the elementary years. This presents me with bit of a problem because now I am no longer a stay at home Mom, I am still a Mom and I am still at home, but for 8 hours a day I am not a stay at home Mother, I am just a stay at home.... what? housewife? unemployed hairdresser? Now when people ask me I don't know what to say, I am just at home. Alone. I feel differently now. I always felt like I was working even though I was home because I was always busy, always had a child who needed something. They needed dressed, washed, played with, taught, kissed, bandaged, bathed, changed and something always needed cleaned, made, cooked, bought, but now the cleaning is less, the children only need early in the morning or late in the afternoon, lunch is whatever I eat. It is strange, this housewife exsistence. I feel like I am more accountable for accomplishing things so Jason doesn't think I am not productive enough, I feel like I need to be busy so I can justify my staying home. I feel the need to follow up that I stay home with "but I am going to look for a job soon". I shop with the retired ladies at the grocery store. I am a stay at home.... ?
But then God has been laying in my heart that this is the perfect time for me to be useful, both for my family and for His kingdom. I have time, time for volunteering, time for Bible study, time for me, to find who I am again outside of children and chaos, I have time to reconnect with Jason on his days off without children, and it has been great. I have time to organize my house the way I have wanted to for so long, I have time for making bread and planning meals, I have time to serve at the soup kitchen, and help out at school, and pray. I can have a whole conversation with God in peace, quiet time with Him, everyday, uninterrupted. I can hang out with my husband like we did when we were young, go out to lunch and talk. This has made me an even better stay at home Mom because now when the girls get home, I have time to play, time to listen, and since I have had time, I have more patience, more kindness and more love to share with them. I feel like a better wife, a better Mother ,and I think I can now provide a more Godly example to my family and those around me. I am so lucky to have a husband who works hard to support us, who never says a word about what I do during the day, even when he comes home and the house is still messy and the laundry isn't done, he never says get a job or asks when I am going to go back to work. He just thanks me for taking care of them, and tells me to enjoy this time and that I will always be a Mommy whether they are here all day or not, and this past week when Lydia was sick all week I realized that I am still thankful to be home and available to care for her and that they still need me here even when they are at school. I am still thinking about a job even if it is part time, but for now I am just going to enjoy this new normal. God's timing is perfect and I am thankful he allowed us to have our children when He did and that He provides for us daily so that I can be a stay at home...something. I pray I use this time He has given me wisely for both my family and for Him.
The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9
