www.sandraevertson.com
10 years ago
Posted by
Victoria
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My daughter is growing up at a rapid pace. I see the changes in her almost daily and it is scary sometimes when I think of all I am responsible to teach her and I have so little time to accomplish it all. Now that she is in third grade I feel the challenges are becoming more frequent. Friends become more influential, peer pressure starts to creep in and the exposure to worldly viewpoints and values begin to invade her, so-far, sheltered exsistence. I have had more challenges and situations to explain in the last few months, than any other time before in her life. I knew it would get hard, I was just unprepared for how quickly and how young it would happen.
One of the challenges I have had lately came in the unexpected form of a school project. The assignment of a Family Tree and history project. Researching your roots, interviewing a family member, making a family tree. It sounds easy on the surface, no big deal really, an easy assignment for most, but I was stressed. Stressed, because when family is messy, it is confusing to an eight year old and to be honest, it is confusing to a thirty-eight year old, and because we chose to shelter her from the confusion early on, the family dynamics became somewhat of a vague mystery. This project made my heart pound and my head hurt. How was I going to explain that some people who she had been raised to believe were her family really weren't? and how was I going to explain who the people she never knew exsisted really were? I decided to put off the family tree part of the project until the last minute, she worked on the interviewing of her Nana, which was fun. She worked on picking out her cute scrapbooking papers and poured over my colored pens to write her findings with, which was fun. She never said a word about the family tree until...
"Mommy, who should I ask about the family tree, you or Daddy?" The time had come. My family is easy, I am an only child, I have parents who are still together after 40+ years and all my Grandparents had passed before my children were born, no problem. My husband's family is harder, he has family members he doesn't see or visit, people that he is reluctant to talk about or share stories about, there is divorce, and step-parents, and step-siblings. There are people who aren't actually related in any way, but who we love and enjoy and who my girls believe are family, and cousins, and Aunts, and Uncles. There are people they know only by name or photo that are key members of the family tree, but who have never been discussed or explained other than by name. I went to bed that night praying for God's wisdom on how to delicately explain, on an eight year old level, family.
God's word tells us that if we ask for wisdom, it will be given, and somehow God came through. I decided that everyone should know their roots, even an eight year old, and that it wasn't fair to her to not know exactly who is who. Family isn't always about blood, it is about the people who care for you, the people who love you, the people who build you up and support you and make you feel good about yourself. It is the people you spend time with, who watch you grow. The family legacy doesn't have to come only from your blood relatives, the family legacy that is passed down, comes from love. God laid on my heart to be open and honest, to explain and answer any questions she may have, to be truthful. The family tree project turned out to be the best thing we have done. I found that she had been wondering for a while about certain people and that she was very confused about how everyone fit together. I found that our sheltering her from the confusion had just caused more confusion, and that she was afraid to ask about it because she sensed that it was a touchy subject, but she really wanted to know. I found that through sharing stories and forcing ourselves, both my husband and I, to focus on positive things and funny moments and to relive positive experiences instead of negative, that we replaced anger and hurt with laughter and joy. I also found that the children at school had been talking about theirs and she had questions about their family situations as well and wanted to know what that meant for them. It has opened up opportunities for prayer, not only for our own family issues, but for her friends and schoolmates too. It is amazing to me how God uses something as simple as homework to show me what I need to be doing as a parent. God saying to me that it was time for my children to know where they come from, the good, the bad, the ugly, the messy. It was a weight lifted for both Jason and I, sometimes I don't know if God gave me my children for me to teach them or if he allowed me to have them so that they could teach me. Either way, I am blessed beyond measure and thankful for all those we call family.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13:7
One of the challenges I have had lately came in the unexpected form of a school project. The assignment of a Family Tree and history project. Researching your roots, interviewing a family member, making a family tree. It sounds easy on the surface, no big deal really, an easy assignment for most, but I was stressed. Stressed, because when family is messy, it is confusing to an eight year old and to be honest, it is confusing to a thirty-eight year old, and because we chose to shelter her from the confusion early on, the family dynamics became somewhat of a vague mystery. This project made my heart pound and my head hurt. How was I going to explain that some people who she had been raised to believe were her family really weren't? and how was I going to explain who the people she never knew exsisted really were? I decided to put off the family tree part of the project until the last minute, she worked on the interviewing of her Nana, which was fun. She worked on picking out her cute scrapbooking papers and poured over my colored pens to write her findings with, which was fun. She never said a word about the family tree until...
"Mommy, who should I ask about the family tree, you or Daddy?" The time had come. My family is easy, I am an only child, I have parents who are still together after 40+ years and all my Grandparents had passed before my children were born, no problem. My husband's family is harder, he has family members he doesn't see or visit, people that he is reluctant to talk about or share stories about, there is divorce, and step-parents, and step-siblings. There are people who aren't actually related in any way, but who we love and enjoy and who my girls believe are family, and cousins, and Aunts, and Uncles. There are people they know only by name or photo that are key members of the family tree, but who have never been discussed or explained other than by name. I went to bed that night praying for God's wisdom on how to delicately explain, on an eight year old level, family.
God's word tells us that if we ask for wisdom, it will be given, and somehow God came through. I decided that everyone should know their roots, even an eight year old, and that it wasn't fair to her to not know exactly who is who. Family isn't always about blood, it is about the people who care for you, the people who love you, the people who build you up and support you and make you feel good about yourself. It is the people you spend time with, who watch you grow. The family legacy doesn't have to come only from your blood relatives, the family legacy that is passed down, comes from love. God laid on my heart to be open and honest, to explain and answer any questions she may have, to be truthful. The family tree project turned out to be the best thing we have done. I found that she had been wondering for a while about certain people and that she was very confused about how everyone fit together. I found that our sheltering her from the confusion had just caused more confusion, and that she was afraid to ask about it because she sensed that it was a touchy subject, but she really wanted to know. I found that through sharing stories and forcing ourselves, both my husband and I, to focus on positive things and funny moments and to relive positive experiences instead of negative, that we replaced anger and hurt with laughter and joy. I also found that the children at school had been talking about theirs and she had questions about their family situations as well and wanted to know what that meant for them. It has opened up opportunities for prayer, not only for our own family issues, but for her friends and schoolmates too. It is amazing to me how God uses something as simple as homework to show me what I need to be doing as a parent. God saying to me that it was time for my children to know where they come from, the good, the bad, the ugly, the messy. It was a weight lifted for both Jason and I, sometimes I don't know if God gave me my children for me to teach them or if he allowed me to have them so that they could teach me. Either way, I am blessed beyond measure and thankful for all those we call family.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13:7
Posted by
Victoria
comments (0)
For the last 8 years when someone asked me what my job was I have answered with the words " I am a Stay at Home Mom". I have been home taking care of children since the day I found out I was pregnant with Emma. I didn't intend to be a stay at home Mom, I never even imagined that I would be home at all. I had worked since I was 16, and at the time I became pregnant, I worked over 40 hours a week as a hairdresser, and most weeks earned equal to if not more than my husband. I payed bills, paid for Summer vacations, bought what I wanted and had a car and credit in my name. I told everyone I was coming back to work as soon as the daycare would take them, but God had other plans. I had a difficult pregnancy that started with bedrest and ended with that baby going back to be with Jesus, so when I surprisingly became pregnant again just a few months later, the doctors wrote me out of work immediately. They didn't want me on my feet and breathing in chemicals, just to be safe, and this is when my stay at home adventure began. I didn't think we would make it, I didn't think we could afford it, I didn't think I could handle it, but God said otherwise. I prayed daily that God would provide our needs and each month I would consider it a success when the bills were paid and nothing had been repossessed or shut off. We downsized cars, we bundled bills, we canceled luxuries, we quit shopping for frivolous items and we realized day care is expensive and for us it was becoming more and more unneccessary. The weeks turned into months and the months turned into years and another child, layoffs, another town, another house and through it all God remained faithful and here it is 8 years later and I am still home and we are still making it, not always easily, but here we are.
Now my children have both grown past the preschool years and we have entered a new chapter, the elementary years. This presents me with bit of a problem because now I am no longer a stay at home Mom, I am still a Mom and I am still at home, but for 8 hours a day I am not a stay at home Mother, I am just a stay at home.... what? housewife? unemployed hairdresser? Now when people ask me I don't know what to say, I am just at home. Alone. I feel differently now. I always felt like I was working even though I was home because I was always busy, always had a child who needed something. They needed dressed, washed, played with, taught, kissed, bandaged, bathed, changed and something always needed cleaned, made, cooked, bought, but now the cleaning is less, the children only need early in the morning or late in the afternoon, lunch is whatever I eat. It is strange, this housewife exsistence. I feel like I am more accountable for accomplishing things so Jason doesn't think I am not productive enough, I feel like I need to be busy so I can justify my staying home. I feel the need to follow up that I stay home with "but I am going to look for a job soon". I shop with the retired ladies at the grocery store. I am a stay at home.... ?
But then God has been laying in my heart that this is the perfect time for me to be useful, both for my family and for His kingdom. I have time, time for volunteering, time for Bible study, time for me, to find who I am again outside of children and chaos, I have time to reconnect with Jason on his days off without children, and it has been great. I have time to organize my house the way I have wanted to for so long, I have time for making bread and planning meals, I have time to serve at the soup kitchen, and help out at school, and pray. I can have a whole conversation with God in peace, quiet time with Him, everyday, uninterrupted. I can hang out with my husband like we did when we were young, go out to lunch and talk. This has made me an even better stay at home Mom because now when the girls get home, I have time to play, time to listen, and since I have had time, I have more patience, more kindness and more love to share with them. I feel like a better wife, a better Mother ,and I think I can now provide a more Godly example to my family and those around me. I am so lucky to have a husband who works hard to support us, who never says a word about what I do during the day, even when he comes home and the house is still messy and the laundry isn't done, he never says get a job or asks when I am going to go back to work. He just thanks me for taking care of them, and tells me to enjoy this time and that I will always be a Mommy whether they are here all day or not, and this past week when Lydia was sick all week I realized that I am still thankful to be home and available to care for her and that they still need me here even when they are at school. I am still thinking about a job even if it is part time, but for now I am just going to enjoy this new normal. God's timing is perfect and I am thankful he allowed us to have our children when He did and that He provides for us daily so that I can be a stay at home...something. I pray I use this time He has given me wisely for both my family and for Him.
The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9
Now my children have both grown past the preschool years and we have entered a new chapter, the elementary years. This presents me with bit of a problem because now I am no longer a stay at home Mom, I am still a Mom and I am still at home, but for 8 hours a day I am not a stay at home Mother, I am just a stay at home.... what? housewife? unemployed hairdresser? Now when people ask me I don't know what to say, I am just at home. Alone. I feel differently now. I always felt like I was working even though I was home because I was always busy, always had a child who needed something. They needed dressed, washed, played with, taught, kissed, bandaged, bathed, changed and something always needed cleaned, made, cooked, bought, but now the cleaning is less, the children only need early in the morning or late in the afternoon, lunch is whatever I eat. It is strange, this housewife exsistence. I feel like I am more accountable for accomplishing things so Jason doesn't think I am not productive enough, I feel like I need to be busy so I can justify my staying home. I feel the need to follow up that I stay home with "but I am going to look for a job soon". I shop with the retired ladies at the grocery store. I am a stay at home.... ?
But then God has been laying in my heart that this is the perfect time for me to be useful, both for my family and for His kingdom. I have time, time for volunteering, time for Bible study, time for me, to find who I am again outside of children and chaos, I have time to reconnect with Jason on his days off without children, and it has been great. I have time to organize my house the way I have wanted to for so long, I have time for making bread and planning meals, I have time to serve at the soup kitchen, and help out at school, and pray. I can have a whole conversation with God in peace, quiet time with Him, everyday, uninterrupted. I can hang out with my husband like we did when we were young, go out to lunch and talk. This has made me an even better stay at home Mom because now when the girls get home, I have time to play, time to listen, and since I have had time, I have more patience, more kindness and more love to share with them. I feel like a better wife, a better Mother ,and I think I can now provide a more Godly example to my family and those around me. I am so lucky to have a husband who works hard to support us, who never says a word about what I do during the day, even when he comes home and the house is still messy and the laundry isn't done, he never says get a job or asks when I am going to go back to work. He just thanks me for taking care of them, and tells me to enjoy this time and that I will always be a Mommy whether they are here all day or not, and this past week when Lydia was sick all week I realized that I am still thankful to be home and available to care for her and that they still need me here even when they are at school. I am still thinking about a job even if it is part time, but for now I am just going to enjoy this new normal. God's timing is perfect and I am thankful he allowed us to have our children when He did and that He provides for us daily so that I can be a stay at home...something. I pray I use this time He has given me wisely for both my family and for Him.
The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9
Posted by
Victoria
comments (0)
I have to admit, there are times when I am a confused Christian. You would think that I wouldn't be, seeing as how I was born and raised in a Christian family. I have gone to church my whole life. I attended Christian school. I have taught Sunday School to children, memorized countless scriptures with the children at AWANA and GA's. I do devotions with my children every night and teach them all I know about Christ and his ultimate sacrifice and the precious gift of salvation that He gave them. I have participated in Bible studies and read my Bible. I should be crystal clear on everything, but Christianity is a journey, a process. The actual moment of salvation is crystal clear, the minute I realized I needed Christ and I wanted Christ and I chose to follow Him forever, that is crystal clear, no doubts, no confusion, but then came life and people, saved people, Christian people, unsaved people, lost people, decisions, trials, peaks, valleys, and this is when things begin to muddle and can sometimes bring confusion, and this is where Satan begins to get a grip, he loves our confusion.
Confusion this week came for me in the form of a chicken sandwich. I have to admit, I am completely out of the loop on anything political. I don't watch politics, I don't listen to political speakers, I don't watch CNN or MSNBC. I can tell you who the important players are politically, but don't always know what is going on behind the scenes. I try to research who I vote for and who the candidates are before I vote, but once the winners are in office and the losers are forgotten, I no longer keep up with what is going on. I don't trust any of them, I believe voting for the lesser of two evils is still voting for evil. I pray for our leaders, whether I agree with them or not, I don't speak bad of them because I believe they are all there for a reason and out of respect should not be ridiculed and disrespected. I haven't had to do their job, I haven't had to shoulder their responsibility and I am not there when they are alone and making decisions, so I stay out of it and trust that God is still in control and this too will pass.
This is what led to my confusion about my chicken sandwich, I don't see much media, I don't watch TV so until I saw Facebook posts going crazy about the Chik-Fil-A issue, I had no idea what it was even about. One post saying this and another post claiming that one to be a lie, Christian people divided on the issue, non Christian people divided on the issue, articles copied and posted that were later proven false, photos photoshopped to be deceiving. confusion! How did this get so crazy? I mean didn't everyone know what his beliefs were already? It isn't like he has hidden them. Is it so far fetched that a conservative Christian man who publically states that his business is founded on conservative Christian principles would state that he gave to conservative Christian causes...and did anyone not know that he would be against gay marriage? I didn't quite get the uproar, but I did get confused because now if I eat at Chik-Fil-A am I sending a message of hate? If I don't eat at Chik-Fil-A am I a bad Christian? Am I supporting hate groups? What groups are the money going to that are hateful? and who determined they were hate groups? I saw an article that listed Fellowship of Christian Athletes as one of the hate groups, I personally know people who are involved in this ministry and they are a sweet, loving, kind family. I can't imagine them hating anyone, they have a heart for Christ and a love for those who are lost and they would never be a part of a hate group. I was confused, yes it is a conservative Christian group with conservative Christian values...but a hate group? When did disagreeing with someone's choices or ideas automatically equal hating them? I have friends on both sides of the issue. Friends, people I care about, people I spend time with, people I love, people I maybe don't agree with, but people I love nontheless. How can anyone be witnessed to or see God's love or come to know the Saviour if we never speak or have anything to do with the people we disagree with? Isn't that exactly what Satan would love, for us to be ineffective at witnessing because we start to think we have to agree with someone in order to befriend them or we can't associate with that person because they must hate us since they have a different belief than me? Satan wins when we get muddled and confused.
Here is where my clarity came in. If I take everything else out of the equation. If I just go back to how I felt a week ago before I started getting sucked into the photos and the blogs and the media mess. If I just really block out Satan's attempts at confusion and focus on what I believe, here is what it comes down to for me ( not anyone else and I promise you don't have to agree with me and that is o.k.) I like Chik-Fil-A. I like them because when I go in the workers are always smiling. I like them because they are always helpful. I like them because my children love their cow and going to Daddy Daughter Date nights where the restaurant is decorated and candle lit and it makes them feel special. I like them because they donate huge amounts of time, money and food to people and to the local communities they are a part of. I like them because they have the best peach milk shakes in the summer and the best chocolate cherry mint ones in the winter. I like them because they also support children, poor families and they own and operate foster homes and give to lots of great causes that seem to get overlooked in the media. I don't eat there to make a statement, I don't eat there to hurt anyone, I simply eat there because I like to, just like I eat at a million other places that maybe support things I don't believe in or agree with, just like I buy products or shop at stores that have differing opinions than me on all kinds of issues. I eat there because I believe that a person that owns a company has the right to support what they choose with their money whether I agree with it or not.
So next time you see me buying Oreos or eating at Olive Garden or buying my daughter a backpack at JC Penney please don't think bad of me as a Christian because I am not trying to make a statement or question my beliefs and if you see me eating at Chik-Fil-A or buying craft supplies at Hobby Lobby please don't think I am trying to hurt you or send a statement that I hate you, I simply like their product. I know what I believe and people who know me know what I believe, and people who just meet me figure it out pretty quickly I am sure. I understand if you don't want to patronize a company you don't agree with and that is o.k., but for me I just don't have the energy to trace every dollar every company spends on a cause and then determine if I support it. I give more to people I support and less to people I don't but in the end, I just can't research every product and every cause. It is way too confusing :)
Confusion this week came for me in the form of a chicken sandwich. I have to admit, I am completely out of the loop on anything political. I don't watch politics, I don't listen to political speakers, I don't watch CNN or MSNBC. I can tell you who the important players are politically, but don't always know what is going on behind the scenes. I try to research who I vote for and who the candidates are before I vote, but once the winners are in office and the losers are forgotten, I no longer keep up with what is going on. I don't trust any of them, I believe voting for the lesser of two evils is still voting for evil. I pray for our leaders, whether I agree with them or not, I don't speak bad of them because I believe they are all there for a reason and out of respect should not be ridiculed and disrespected. I haven't had to do their job, I haven't had to shoulder their responsibility and I am not there when they are alone and making decisions, so I stay out of it and trust that God is still in control and this too will pass.
This is what led to my confusion about my chicken sandwich, I don't see much media, I don't watch TV so until I saw Facebook posts going crazy about the Chik-Fil-A issue, I had no idea what it was even about. One post saying this and another post claiming that one to be a lie, Christian people divided on the issue, non Christian people divided on the issue, articles copied and posted that were later proven false, photos photoshopped to be deceiving. confusion! How did this get so crazy? I mean didn't everyone know what his beliefs were already? It isn't like he has hidden them. Is it so far fetched that a conservative Christian man who publically states that his business is founded on conservative Christian principles would state that he gave to conservative Christian causes...and did anyone not know that he would be against gay marriage? I didn't quite get the uproar, but I did get confused because now if I eat at Chik-Fil-A am I sending a message of hate? If I don't eat at Chik-Fil-A am I a bad Christian? Am I supporting hate groups? What groups are the money going to that are hateful? and who determined they were hate groups? I saw an article that listed Fellowship of Christian Athletes as one of the hate groups, I personally know people who are involved in this ministry and they are a sweet, loving, kind family. I can't imagine them hating anyone, they have a heart for Christ and a love for those who are lost and they would never be a part of a hate group. I was confused, yes it is a conservative Christian group with conservative Christian values...but a hate group? When did disagreeing with someone's choices or ideas automatically equal hating them? I have friends on both sides of the issue. Friends, people I care about, people I spend time with, people I love, people I maybe don't agree with, but people I love nontheless. How can anyone be witnessed to or see God's love or come to know the Saviour if we never speak or have anything to do with the people we disagree with? Isn't that exactly what Satan would love, for us to be ineffective at witnessing because we start to think we have to agree with someone in order to befriend them or we can't associate with that person because they must hate us since they have a different belief than me? Satan wins when we get muddled and confused.
Here is where my clarity came in. If I take everything else out of the equation. If I just go back to how I felt a week ago before I started getting sucked into the photos and the blogs and the media mess. If I just really block out Satan's attempts at confusion and focus on what I believe, here is what it comes down to for me ( not anyone else and I promise you don't have to agree with me and that is o.k.) I like Chik-Fil-A. I like them because when I go in the workers are always smiling. I like them because they are always helpful. I like them because my children love their cow and going to Daddy Daughter Date nights where the restaurant is decorated and candle lit and it makes them feel special. I like them because they donate huge amounts of time, money and food to people and to the local communities they are a part of. I like them because they have the best peach milk shakes in the summer and the best chocolate cherry mint ones in the winter. I like them because they also support children, poor families and they own and operate foster homes and give to lots of great causes that seem to get overlooked in the media. I don't eat there to make a statement, I don't eat there to hurt anyone, I simply eat there because I like to, just like I eat at a million other places that maybe support things I don't believe in or agree with, just like I buy products or shop at stores that have differing opinions than me on all kinds of issues. I eat there because I believe that a person that owns a company has the right to support what they choose with their money whether I agree with it or not.
So next time you see me buying Oreos or eating at Olive Garden or buying my daughter a backpack at JC Penney please don't think bad of me as a Christian because I am not trying to make a statement or question my beliefs and if you see me eating at Chik-Fil-A or buying craft supplies at Hobby Lobby please don't think I am trying to hurt you or send a statement that I hate you, I simply like their product. I know what I believe and people who know me know what I believe, and people who just meet me figure it out pretty quickly I am sure. I understand if you don't want to patronize a company you don't agree with and that is o.k., but for me I just don't have the energy to trace every dollar every company spends on a cause and then determine if I support it. I give more to people I support and less to people I don't but in the end, I just can't research every product and every cause. It is way too confusing :)
"Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is that if you disagree with someone's lifestyle, you must fear them or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense." - Rick Warren. How true this statement is, this was the best Facebook quote I saw this week. Satan, the Father of lies, relishes our confusion, he loves it, he basks in it. He wants us to be confused because as long as we are in a state of confusion and as long as we are disagreeing and as long as we are fighting each other then we are exactly where he wants us, confused, divided, questioning and useless for God's kingdom.
For God is not a God of confusion but of peace. 1 Corinthians 14:33
Posted by
Victoria
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It has been a very long time since I had a puppy, 15 years to be exact. Growing up we had lots of dogs but they were already grown by the time we acquired them, they stayed outside, and I was a child so other than feeding them and loving them, I had no responsibility for them. When Jason and I got married we had a miniature schnauzer that I had "rescued" from a friend of mine's neighbor. He was already a year old and was very smart He was quiet and nervous, but potty trained and neutered so we really didn't have a lot of work to do. After several months of marriage I was feeling maternal and we had not been blessed with a bun in the oven, so I began pleading my case for a puppy, not a dog, I wanted a puppy. Jason soon caved and we went to pick up my first bundle of joy, a miniature pinscher, whom we named Grace. She was six weeks old when we brought her home, she weighed only a few ounces and fit in the palm of my hand but soon we discovered that she could produce a lot of terror in that tiny body. Never having a puppy before I was completely unprepared for her shredding, peeing, pooping, eating, whining, howling, shredding, destructive, (did I mention shredding?) ways. Jason and I both worked full time. We lived in a small apartment and Grace wrecked it in just under a month. We had to rip out carpet, replace tile, fix cabinets, paint doors. We tried crate training to no avail, she would pee and poop in the crate and then wear it all day until we returned, and she didn't even care! She ate a million things she shouldn't... towels, wipes, medicine bottles, clothes, shoes. We made multiple trips to the emergency vet in those early months. Jason and I argued about getting rid of her. He thought she should go, but then she would be good for a short time and I would convince him to let her stay. I would joke that her name, Grace, was fitting since it took all the Grace I could muster not to kill her. Jazz, our sweet schnauzer would look at us like we were crazy and treated her like she had the plague. I swore that I would never, not ever, get another puppy, ever again.
15 years later and life has changed tremendously in our home. Grace, our little terror, is now a great-grandma. She can't hear, her eyesight is failing a little, she has arthritis and she spends most of her days lying in the sun spot on the carpet and cuddling in your lap under a blanket. She still has her moments of craziness, but the memory of those wild puppy days has faded.
This is where it gets bad, the faded puppy memories, because just like you forget the pain and sleepless nights of babyhood with your children and begin to long for more even after you swore at 2am that that baby was going to be an only child, you forget those wild puppy days of 15 years ago. I forgot about the constant chewing, I forgot about the howling nights, I forgot about the potty traing, and the teething, and the hyper- high energy, and when I walked up to the Walmart door and saw the sweet white puppy with the black spots and the sad eyes I forgot that promise I made all those years ago and all I saw was my little girls pleading face and all I thought about was how much I loved having a big yard dog to follow me around and grow up with me when I was a child and how my girls haven't really gotten to experience that with grumpy Grandma Grace... and I caved. I didn't cave right away, oh no, I said no and we left and came home, but then I called Jason, expecting him to be the strong one and confirm my doubts, but he didn't, he just said "well go get it if you want." That's the problem with him, he always gives in to me and it is not always good, but love is blind and off we went to get the puppy.
I now remember vividly the chaos that puppies cause, but it is too late, because he looks at us with his sweet eyes and he whines for us to come play and I remember why, through all the craziness, teething, chewing, digging, and howling, we kept Grace all those years ago. love. simple, God made little things like puppies and children so cute and innocent to show us how to love unconditionally. Just like God loves us when we create chaos in our lives, just like he loves us when we are being frustrating, hard headed and whiny. God created things around us to demonstrate what love is supposed to look like. I see it in my children, who wear me down and wear me out, but no matter how many times they cause trouble, I still love them and I see it in this new puppy, who is crazy and untrained and frustrating, but no matter what, we will love him and take care of him, because God loves me even when I act crazy! All I can hope for now is that it takes another 15 years before I forget about these crazy times because I am getting to old to handle any more puppies.
We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19
15 years later and life has changed tremendously in our home. Grace, our little terror, is now a great-grandma. She can't hear, her eyesight is failing a little, she has arthritis and she spends most of her days lying in the sun spot on the carpet and cuddling in your lap under a blanket. She still has her moments of craziness, but the memory of those wild puppy days has faded.
This is where it gets bad, the faded puppy memories, because just like you forget the pain and sleepless nights of babyhood with your children and begin to long for more even after you swore at 2am that that baby was going to be an only child, you forget those wild puppy days of 15 years ago. I forgot about the constant chewing, I forgot about the howling nights, I forgot about the potty traing, and the teething, and the hyper- high energy, and when I walked up to the Walmart door and saw the sweet white puppy with the black spots and the sad eyes I forgot that promise I made all those years ago and all I saw was my little girls pleading face and all I thought about was how much I loved having a big yard dog to follow me around and grow up with me when I was a child and how my girls haven't really gotten to experience that with grumpy Grandma Grace... and I caved. I didn't cave right away, oh no, I said no and we left and came home, but then I called Jason, expecting him to be the strong one and confirm my doubts, but he didn't, he just said "well go get it if you want." That's the problem with him, he always gives in to me and it is not always good, but love is blind and off we went to get the puppy.
I now remember vividly the chaos that puppies cause, but it is too late, because he looks at us with his sweet eyes and he whines for us to come play and I remember why, through all the craziness, teething, chewing, digging, and howling, we kept Grace all those years ago. love. simple, God made little things like puppies and children so cute and innocent to show us how to love unconditionally. Just like God loves us when we create chaos in our lives, just like he loves us when we are being frustrating, hard headed and whiny. God created things around us to demonstrate what love is supposed to look like. I see it in my children, who wear me down and wear me out, but no matter how many times they cause trouble, I still love them and I see it in this new puppy, who is crazy and untrained and frustrating, but no matter what, we will love him and take care of him, because God loves me even when I act crazy! All I can hope for now is that it takes another 15 years before I forget about these crazy times because I am getting to old to handle any more puppies.
We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19
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Victoria
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You are so sheltered. Your children seem sheltered. You can't shelter them from everything. Homeschooled children must be awfully sheltered. I don't want my kids to be that sheltered. He wouldn't have rebelled if he hadn't been so sheltered growing up. Sheltered...
I hear phrases like this all the time. Is being sheltered a bad thing? The other day I was talking to a stranger at the park while our children played and she was talking about a TV show that I hadn't even heard of and I told her we didn't really watch TV much and she started talking about sheltering children and that she didn't believe sheltering them from the world was a good thing. She believed in showing them reality. She went on to say that shletered kids turned out to be more rebellious than "worldy street wise ones" in her opinion. She wasn't neccessarily implying that by not letting my children watch popular TV that I was going to have trouble later, and she didn't even say directly to me that I was sheltering them, but when I was driving home later I was thinking about what she had said and wondering to myself " Are my children too sheltered?"
I guess you could say I grew up sheltered although I didn't really think much about it. I went to private school for several years, I grew up actively participating in Church, I didn't watch TV ( mostly because we only had 3 channels and an antenna) When I was 14 I left the safety of a small private middle school and ventured into the uncharted territory of a huge public high school, this was when it hit me for the first time that I might have been a little sheltered. I had never heard a cuss word, never seen anyone my age smoking or drinking, I had never heard anyone openly talking about a lot of the things highschoolers talk about, I had never listened to rock music and didn't know much about pop culture. Friends joked that I was "Sheltered"... but was that a bad thing? I didn't think so then and I don't think so now. I did rebel a little, I hung out with people I shouldn't have sometimes, I listened to music my parents hated, I dated guys that had rebellious streaks ( and married one who definitely wasn't sheltered and completely agrees with me on sheltering ours) I caught up pretty quickly on what I had been missing but it wasn't really that great and it didn't really make me wish I had seen or heard or done it sooner. Rebelliousness comes from a lot of different factors and I don't believe that sheltered children are always the most rebellious. Eventually we all get our introduction to the ways of the world no matter how protective our parents have been. The Bible has lots of verses that talk about God being our shelter, He wants to shelter us from evil, from harm, from the bad things of the world. God calls us to not be like the world. He doesn't want us to be subjected to everything under the sun. He wants us to be sheltered and He wants to be the one who is our shelter.
So yes, my children are sheltered. They don't get to watch movies that are rated over their age, they don't watch ICarly and Hannah Montana, they don't know a single Justin Beiber song or who Lady Gaga is, they don't hear foul language at home, they listen to Christian and children's music, and yet the world still finds it's way in through school, through kids on the playground, through the news media, and through life, but it is in small doses that we deal with and handle one at a time. They know what a broken home is, they know what alchohol can do to you, they know that there are poor, lost people in the world who need help and love, they know there are evil people who do bad things and they know what it means to pray for those people. They also know that God has trusted their Dad and I to be their shelter here on Earth but that He is the ultimate shelter. They have their whole lives to be exposed to all the junk of the world. I just want them to enjoy the comfort of the shelter that I can provide for as long as they can.
Psalm 61:3-4 For you have been my shelter, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.
I hear phrases like this all the time. Is being sheltered a bad thing? The other day I was talking to a stranger at the park while our children played and she was talking about a TV show that I hadn't even heard of and I told her we didn't really watch TV much and she started talking about sheltering children and that she didn't believe sheltering them from the world was a good thing. She believed in showing them reality. She went on to say that shletered kids turned out to be more rebellious than "worldy street wise ones" in her opinion. She wasn't neccessarily implying that by not letting my children watch popular TV that I was going to have trouble later, and she didn't even say directly to me that I was sheltering them, but when I was driving home later I was thinking about what she had said and wondering to myself " Are my children too sheltered?"
I guess you could say I grew up sheltered although I didn't really think much about it. I went to private school for several years, I grew up actively participating in Church, I didn't watch TV ( mostly because we only had 3 channels and an antenna) When I was 14 I left the safety of a small private middle school and ventured into the uncharted territory of a huge public high school, this was when it hit me for the first time that I might have been a little sheltered. I had never heard a cuss word, never seen anyone my age smoking or drinking, I had never heard anyone openly talking about a lot of the things highschoolers talk about, I had never listened to rock music and didn't know much about pop culture. Friends joked that I was "Sheltered"... but was that a bad thing? I didn't think so then and I don't think so now. I did rebel a little, I hung out with people I shouldn't have sometimes, I listened to music my parents hated, I dated guys that had rebellious streaks ( and married one who definitely wasn't sheltered and completely agrees with me on sheltering ours) I caught up pretty quickly on what I had been missing but it wasn't really that great and it didn't really make me wish I had seen or heard or done it sooner. Rebelliousness comes from a lot of different factors and I don't believe that sheltered children are always the most rebellious. Eventually we all get our introduction to the ways of the world no matter how protective our parents have been. The Bible has lots of verses that talk about God being our shelter, He wants to shelter us from evil, from harm, from the bad things of the world. God calls us to not be like the world. He doesn't want us to be subjected to everything under the sun. He wants us to be sheltered and He wants to be the one who is our shelter.
So yes, my children are sheltered. They don't get to watch movies that are rated over their age, they don't watch ICarly and Hannah Montana, they don't know a single Justin Beiber song or who Lady Gaga is, they don't hear foul language at home, they listen to Christian and children's music, and yet the world still finds it's way in through school, through kids on the playground, through the news media, and through life, but it is in small doses that we deal with and handle one at a time. They know what a broken home is, they know what alchohol can do to you, they know that there are poor, lost people in the world who need help and love, they know there are evil people who do bad things and they know what it means to pray for those people. They also know that God has trusted their Dad and I to be their shelter here on Earth but that He is the ultimate shelter. They have their whole lives to be exposed to all the junk of the world. I just want them to enjoy the comfort of the shelter that I can provide for as long as they can.
Psalm 61:3-4 For you have been my shelter, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.
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Victoria
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I take so many things for granted in my life. I often get blinded by the little irritations in my day and forget to look for the bigger blessings. I spend a lot of time praying that God would fill me with the Holy Spirit and help me have more patience, but that is a wasted prayer. When I came to salvation in Christ I received the Holy Spirit. That same powerful Spirit that rose Christ from the grave, that same spirit that empowered the disciples to action is already in me. I don't have to ask God every day to fill me with it, it is already there. I just have to tap into it and actually USE it. Part of using the fruit of the Spirit known as patience for me today was thinking of the things I should be grateful for instead of griping about them and getting impatient.
Standing in Walmart ( which is already irritating enough) buying groceries today I found myself getting frustrated because they were out of a few of the things I needed, but then I found myself thinking about how blessed I am to have the luxury of going into a store and getting all of my needs without worry. I thought about a friend of mine, who after visiting family in Cuba, told us all about how toilet paper is rationed (yes, you only get so much a month) and how things we take for granted like cereal and shampoo are luxuries there. They can't just walk into a store and see aisles and aisles of foods. We are so blessed to have so many choices available to us. I found my patience in that moment as I thanked God for allowing me to live in a country of plenty.
Sitting in Subway eating lunch with Lydia I was listening to a man fussing at his wife. He was very rude and loud and she was very embarrassed and apologetic. I was getting angry that he was acting so rude in front of everyone in there and especially because I had Lydia with me. I kept hurrying Lydia up so we could leave and was getting impatient with her for staring and eating so slowly. We finally left and we were walking out the door and I began to think about how lucky I am to have a good husband. I have been so blessed to have husband who gives up so much for us. He works hard to provide for our needs without complaint. He never shops for himself or asks for anything. He drives old beat up cars and buys me the new ones. He will give his last five dollars to help someone in need or buy his children ice cream on a hot day. He never complains about taking care of our girls. He puts them to bed every night, he packs lunches, ties shoes, changed diapers, and "babysits" so I can go to craft nights and church activities, and Girls nights out without ever saying a word. He helps me clean the house and does almost all our laundry. He never complains if I don't get things done and tells me I look great even when I have my hair pulled up and sweatpants on. He thanks me for dinner when I cook it and says he loves me daily. I found myself praying silently for that woman and thanking God for the man he placed in my life. I could never ask for a better Father for my girls or a better husband for me. May I never take that blessing for granted.
Standing in line at the checkout counter I was getting ill at the couple in front of me. She was in a motorized cart and he was helping her get her stuff out and on the counter. Lydia began to fuss, time was ticking to go get Emma, and I began to wish that she would just hurry up and if she wasn't fighting with the motorized cart and waiting on him to get everything then maybe they would be able to move a little quicker. Lydia looked up at me and made a comment about the poor lady in front of us whose legs didn't work ( because she was on the cart instead of walking) and I took a deep breath and realized she was right. I should not be complaining about her when I was standing there all healthy and happy. I don't know what her health issues may be. I should be grateful that I am able to walk and run instead of irritated that she is moving too slow. I have been blessed in my life with good health. I have never had surgery, I have never had pain, I have never had anything worse than a stomach bug or a head ache. God has blessed me with health up until now and I have never had to suffer with illness or disease. I do thank God for my health daily but I don't show gratefulness when I get impatient with those who aren't blessed in that area. Thank you God for using my little one to show me the blessing of health you have given me in my life.
I think God is showing me that the patience and kindness and gentleness that I seek is already within me thanks to His power and His spirit. I am the most grateful for the salvation through Christ which allowed me to be filled with the Spirit who gives me that power...now all I have to do is use it!
"And now you have also heard the truth, the Good News that God saves you. And when you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own by giving you the Holy Spirit, whom he promised long ago" Eph. 1:13 "For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image." 2 Cor. 3:17-18
Standing in Walmart ( which is already irritating enough) buying groceries today I found myself getting frustrated because they were out of a few of the things I needed, but then I found myself thinking about how blessed I am to have the luxury of going into a store and getting all of my needs without worry. I thought about a friend of mine, who after visiting family in Cuba, told us all about how toilet paper is rationed (yes, you only get so much a month) and how things we take for granted like cereal and shampoo are luxuries there. They can't just walk into a store and see aisles and aisles of foods. We are so blessed to have so many choices available to us. I found my patience in that moment as I thanked God for allowing me to live in a country of plenty.
Sitting in Subway eating lunch with Lydia I was listening to a man fussing at his wife. He was very rude and loud and she was very embarrassed and apologetic. I was getting angry that he was acting so rude in front of everyone in there and especially because I had Lydia with me. I kept hurrying Lydia up so we could leave and was getting impatient with her for staring and eating so slowly. We finally left and we were walking out the door and I began to think about how lucky I am to have a good husband. I have been so blessed to have husband who gives up so much for us. He works hard to provide for our needs without complaint. He never shops for himself or asks for anything. He drives old beat up cars and buys me the new ones. He will give his last five dollars to help someone in need or buy his children ice cream on a hot day. He never complains about taking care of our girls. He puts them to bed every night, he packs lunches, ties shoes, changed diapers, and "babysits" so I can go to craft nights and church activities, and Girls nights out without ever saying a word. He helps me clean the house and does almost all our laundry. He never complains if I don't get things done and tells me I look great even when I have my hair pulled up and sweatpants on. He thanks me for dinner when I cook it and says he loves me daily. I found myself praying silently for that woman and thanking God for the man he placed in my life. I could never ask for a better Father for my girls or a better husband for me. May I never take that blessing for granted.
Standing in line at the checkout counter I was getting ill at the couple in front of me. She was in a motorized cart and he was helping her get her stuff out and on the counter. Lydia began to fuss, time was ticking to go get Emma, and I began to wish that she would just hurry up and if she wasn't fighting with the motorized cart and waiting on him to get everything then maybe they would be able to move a little quicker. Lydia looked up at me and made a comment about the poor lady in front of us whose legs didn't work ( because she was on the cart instead of walking) and I took a deep breath and realized she was right. I should not be complaining about her when I was standing there all healthy and happy. I don't know what her health issues may be. I should be grateful that I am able to walk and run instead of irritated that she is moving too slow. I have been blessed in my life with good health. I have never had surgery, I have never had pain, I have never had anything worse than a stomach bug or a head ache. God has blessed me with health up until now and I have never had to suffer with illness or disease. I do thank God for my health daily but I don't show gratefulness when I get impatient with those who aren't blessed in that area. Thank you God for using my little one to show me the blessing of health you have given me in my life.
I think God is showing me that the patience and kindness and gentleness that I seek is already within me thanks to His power and His spirit. I am the most grateful for the salvation through Christ which allowed me to be filled with the Spirit who gives me that power...now all I have to do is use it!
"And now you have also heard the truth, the Good News that God saves you. And when you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own by giving you the Holy Spirit, whom he promised long ago" Eph. 1:13 "For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image." 2 Cor. 3:17-18
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Victoria
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I love the New Year because it is a time to reflect, let go and start over. I cannot believe another year has come and gone. The old saying time waits for no man becomes more and more clear to me the older I get as I struggle to keep up. Looking back and thinking about what 2011 was like for us has been bittersweet, while my family had a pretty good year overall, I can think of countless others who have struggled and experienced pain and loss this past year. It has been sad for me to read the statuses on Facebook lately and see how many people are fighting illness, struggling through job loss and economic hardships, and facing the new year without a loved one. I feel very blessed that God has allowed us to be healthy and happy this past year but I also know that we are only one breath away from being where so many others are. I pray God's grace and mercy over us this year and I know He has a plan even when we don't understand.
I don't make resolutions because I don't like to set myself up for failure and disappointment, but I do like to set goals because they help me keep my focus and give me something to strive for. This year I have three goals I would like to work on.
The first one is a personal goal and that is to be a better steward of my time. God gives me the same amount of time as everyone else in the world and I need to start using mine for more productive things. I think about people in poorer countries who have to get up, take care of children ( a whole lot more than I have), wash clothes by hand, cook food from scratch, take care of cleaning, milking cows and taking care of animals, do errands, sew their own clothes, tend gardens, etc., etc., etc. I have to basically get up and take my girls to school, get some cleaning done with all my modern appliances doing most of the work and I complain that I can't get it all done. I think that has something to do with how much time I waste playing on the computer, reading, playing with the girls, talking on the phone, running useless errands, eating out- wow life sure is hard..haha. Praying that God will give me the motivation to plan my time better and stick to my plan.
My second goal is for Jason and I and it is quality time for us and our family. Before we moved Jason and I used to have date nights without children about once a month and Jason would take each of the girls on a date every other month, but now that family isn't close and work schedules are different we are lucky to have a date night once every six months and the girls haven't had a date with Daddy in a long time. I want dates! My goal is to plan better and more often. I also want to see our extended family more often. Jason and I have not been very good at traveling to visit anyone. I want the girls to see their families more. There is something I have been praying about concerning extended family and I am hoping that God will provide answers in some form to those prayers this year. I am trying to talk more openly with Jason about them and I pray God gives me the right words to say to open up the communication between us regarding this issue and that we will seek God's will together on what he would have us to do.
The third and final goal is for Emma, Lydia and I and that one is that I will be a more Godly example to them, commit to pray diligently for them now and for their futures, and that God will give Jason and I the wisdom to lead them closer to Him and salvation. I pray that God will show us the path He has for them and help us to lead them on that path of purpose for their lives. I want to show them through my words and actions what a woman of faith looks and acts like. I want them to see me pray more, read my Bible more, and as Beth Moore once said I want to fill them so full of Christ that they will miss Him and not know what to do with themselves if they don't follow Him throughout their lives.
May God bless you this year as you seek out your own goals and resolutions and I pray that He will guide you to meet and exceed whatever expectations you put on yourself. Here's to a New Beginning and a happy and prosperous 2012!
"No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven." Philippians 3:13-14
I don't make resolutions because I don't like to set myself up for failure and disappointment, but I do like to set goals because they help me keep my focus and give me something to strive for. This year I have three goals I would like to work on.
The first one is a personal goal and that is to be a better steward of my time. God gives me the same amount of time as everyone else in the world and I need to start using mine for more productive things. I think about people in poorer countries who have to get up, take care of children ( a whole lot more than I have), wash clothes by hand, cook food from scratch, take care of cleaning, milking cows and taking care of animals, do errands, sew their own clothes, tend gardens, etc., etc., etc. I have to basically get up and take my girls to school, get some cleaning done with all my modern appliances doing most of the work and I complain that I can't get it all done. I think that has something to do with how much time I waste playing on the computer, reading, playing with the girls, talking on the phone, running useless errands, eating out- wow life sure is hard..haha. Praying that God will give me the motivation to plan my time better and stick to my plan.
My second goal is for Jason and I and it is quality time for us and our family. Before we moved Jason and I used to have date nights without children about once a month and Jason would take each of the girls on a date every other month, but now that family isn't close and work schedules are different we are lucky to have a date night once every six months and the girls haven't had a date with Daddy in a long time. I want dates! My goal is to plan better and more often. I also want to see our extended family more often. Jason and I have not been very good at traveling to visit anyone. I want the girls to see their families more. There is something I have been praying about concerning extended family and I am hoping that God will provide answers in some form to those prayers this year. I am trying to talk more openly with Jason about them and I pray God gives me the right words to say to open up the communication between us regarding this issue and that we will seek God's will together on what he would have us to do.
The third and final goal is for Emma, Lydia and I and that one is that I will be a more Godly example to them, commit to pray diligently for them now and for their futures, and that God will give Jason and I the wisdom to lead them closer to Him and salvation. I pray that God will show us the path He has for them and help us to lead them on that path of purpose for their lives. I want to show them through my words and actions what a woman of faith looks and acts like. I want them to see me pray more, read my Bible more, and as Beth Moore once said I want to fill them so full of Christ that they will miss Him and not know what to do with themselves if they don't follow Him throughout their lives.
May God bless you this year as you seek out your own goals and resolutions and I pray that He will guide you to meet and exceed whatever expectations you put on yourself. Here's to a New Beginning and a happy and prosperous 2012!
"No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven." Philippians 3:13-14
