Restraint...

I have come to the conclusion that Facebook and I have somewhat of a love/hate relationship. I love being able to connect with friends from my past and get to know new friends better. I love seeing the photos. Photos of vacations to places I may never get to go, photos of holidays, decorations, and fun activities that people are enjoying, photos of new babies and children playing and growing. I love that I can see who needs prayer and sometimes even pray for them right at the time they need it most. I love that my family in other parts of the country and friends around the world can be connected and feel as if they are close even when they are far away. Facebook has a lot of things to love, but the flip side of that is that are also a lot of things that are frustrating and aggravating and sometimes I find myself having to exercise a lot of self-control when hanging out on Facebook. Sometimes Facebook is a lesson in restraint.
     I have been memorizing the book of James in the Bible. I wanted to hide God's word in my heart and be an example to my children and prove to myself that you are never to old to learn new things. I mean if I can learn the jingle to the latest advertisement on TV, and quote senseless movie lines, then I can learn God's word. James spends a lot of time talking about how we need to rein in our tongues, control our mouths and what comes out of them, in fact he makes some pretty strong comments about how evil our tongues are and how harmful our lack of self-control can be to ourselves, to our witness, and to others. Since I have been committing these words of his to memory, I find that I am much more conscience of what I say and the word of God pops into my head at times when I am thinking of saying things and it causes me to rethink what I may or may not be saying.
     This brings me to the things I hate about Facebook. I hate that so many people lack restraint and self-control about what they type and what they make public. I hate that Facebook can be a breeding ground of hostility and disrespect among people who are supposed to be friends. I hate that social media makes it so easy to type out anonymously what you think, about pretty much anything, and that because you are not face to face people think that their words don't mean anything. People type the first thing that pops into their heads, whether it is hurtful, angry, resentful, sneaky, manipulative or disrespectful and then they click on to the next thing. I hate that friends of friends, who are no friends of mine, can see photos and posts and comments and can sometimes even comment on those things without even knowing me personally. I feel that if I have not "friended" you on Facebook you have not earned the right to see my children, my family, my activities. I have truly tried to have self-control from the very beginning of my time on Facebook. I try to be responsible for what I say and how I say it. My intent on Facebook is to enjoy my friends and enjoy the similarities and the differences in our lives, to be a Godly example, and to show the same restraint in my typed comments that I would show them if I was face to face.
     There are some areas of Facebook that I have to really work to show restraint and hold my comments on. One is politics. I hate that everyone debates politics on Facebook, I was raised that your political views were your own and not anyone else's business. I may not like a politician, I may not like a law, I may not agree with a vote or an agenda or a friends opinion, but Facebook is really not the best way to get that point across. God calls us to respect those who are in authority over us and I don't think that bashing the candidates, posting false information, copying and pasting rude jokes, crude cartoons and fake ads are in line with God's word. The president did not cause every problem in the country, there are a vast number of politicians from the community level, state level, senate, congress and courts that all play a part in what gets passed and what gets voted down, so bashing the president and blaming him for absolutely everything is not a very good use of your time. Facebook and the Internet are full of lies, shocking, I know, and when you copy and paste things all over your wall that you have not bothered to check out and verify as fact then you are only hurting your own cause and at least some of your friends in the process. I feel it is important to restrain myself when it comes to politics on social media, I rarely comment on anything political, I don't engage in useless bantering and hurtful commenting, it is not worth losing friends and hurting those you love over a political opinion. My friends know that I am a Christian, they know that I am a conservative Christian and that I hold conservative Christian values. I do not feel the need to argue or be hurtful or disrespectful to those who I am friends with who don't share those values. I can agree to disagree and not love them less for not being me. It can be hard sometimes to read the opposing view or see that someone I respect or love doesn't feel just like me on certain issues, but embarrassing them, debating with them and making rude remarks is not going to win them over to my side, it is only going to further distance them from my opinion and myself.
  Another area I struggle with is family issues. Yes, family, and I know some of my family and maybe some of Jason's family read this blog so I am going to show restraint even here, but this is my personal little blog space that I use to journal my own thoughts and opinions and this is an area I struggle with. Family on Facebook can be difficult. I love keeping up with them and I love seeing what they are up to and sharing our lives and our children's lives with each and every one of them, but just like the family I live with here in my own home don't always share the same views and opinions, family on Facebook doesn't either. I do honestly struggle with some of the things that family members post sometimes, some family members may not share the same values or morals or opinions that I do and it is easy to want to comment and insert my opinion, but just because I am sitting in my den and not facing them does not mean I get a free pass to say whatever I want or that I get to make public my differing opinion. I still love them even when we don't share the same opinion. There are also family members we aren't close to or who we don't really communicate with on both sides, but they are friends with other family members that we share our lives with, and this creates a little bit of a sticky mess for me sometimes because I don't necessarily think it is fair for those people to see our photos, share in our posts, or be able to follow our lives through someone else. I struggle when I see comments and posts from people that I am not friends with personally and who I may not talk to, on photos of my family and my children. It is hard to read them and not comment back or say what I think, but Facebook is not the place and it would be wrong for me and angering or hurtful to my husband, who doesn't usually see any of it, and doesn't need to. I think about how much of our lives are shared with people who have not really earned the right to share it with us, strangers, friends of friends of friends, and although I have nothing to hide and don't share things on Facebook that I don't want the world to see, it still takes restraint to not comment back or engage in conversations, that although may be linked to me through Facebook, are not really my business. The family I am connected to on Facebook, I love very much and would never want to say or post anything that would be hurtful or disrespectful to them, and I hope they would do the same for me, it is about having enough respect for someone's feelings that you exercise restraint.
     Facebook... the place where everyone comes together and yet never sees each other, the place where lives can seem perfect and a perfect mess all in the course of an hour, the place where everyone thinks that they can say whatever they want no matter the consequence, a place where out of the same mouths can come both praise and cursing. The verse that has stood out to me the most this week from my memory work is this " With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come both praise and cursing, my Brothers and Sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water."
   Facebook.....a lesson in restraint!