www.sandraevertson.com
9 years ago
Posted by
Victoria
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I am a child of the '80's, a teenager/ Young adult of the '90's, a generation X'er as it is known. I remember life before cell phones, computers and the Internet. I remember what it was like to have to call someone, open a phonebook, read a map, a cookbook, shop at a real store. When I was in high school no one had a cell phone. My computer class in 11th grade was all DOS based programing, no windows. I could write a program to make my name scroll along the screen and make faces appear. I had a book of programs at home that would let me play games on our very large Commodore 64 computer, it would take hours to type it all in just to make it play basic games with lines and dots. There was a time when my parents would have had to call the Mall and have me paged to the information desk if they wanted to talk to me on a Friday night ( which never happened). Once, A friend of mine and I got lost one night coming home from Elkin and ended up in VA..(long story, don't ask) Two 18 year old girls at a Welcome center in another state at 1 am, scrounging change out of the bottom of the floorboards in order to use the pay phone so we could call her boyfriend to get directions back home.... no cell phones, no GPS. It cost over a dollar to make the call and he was so mad at her he hung up on us without telling us how to get home, so a lady with her dog and milkshake in her hand dug in her floorboard to give us another 1.00 so that I could call Jason to get directions, he was angry, he informed me how dangerous it was for us to be there, and he made endless amounts of sarcastic comments about what we were doing and why we were there, but luckily he cared enough to actually help us get back to the highway and home... this would be unheard of and dangerous today, but it was the way it was in '92. No cute Facebook status about being at the rest area with a crazy dog lady and the old, fat truck driver, no quick text to a friend or a check-in from VA, just us, some change and a prayer that someone would be home to answer the call.
Now just a decade or so later, we are completely dependent on Internet, cellphones, GPS, and Google. We never open a book to find info, we just Google it, we never open a map we turn on the Tom Tom or open the latest map App. We never talk to someone and hear their voice, we just type a bunch of letters and symbols to send a message and we use fake cartoon faces to convey our moods, we think in short sentences and we hide behind our keyboards, we never make a photo album, we have everything stored on memory cards and DVD's, our children do cute things and ask us to put it on Facebook. We tell random strangers where we are eating and what we are doing. We show them every part of our lives from the exciting to the mundane and then we check back to see if they "like" what we put or if they commented on our cute child, our Pinterest worthy crafts, or our fabulous home cooked meal. Technology...an easier life.. a harder life. Technology is supposed to save us so much time and yet we find we have no time.
I read a blog about Lent and sacrifice and making things more important than God and I thought of Facebook for me, how much time I waste on it, how many times a day I peek at it, how much I dislike it sometimes, but yet still go back and look some more, and I decided that I would try life the old fashioned way...for 40 days... days that I would rediscover my life without status updates and photo documentation and drama and politics and all the other mess. I am now 10 days in and here is what I have found to be good and not so good about my life without Facebook.
Things I have missed:
-Friends, seeing what they are doing and keeping in touch.
-Prayer updates, I follow several peoples struggles and journeys with cancer, illness and troubles. I pray for them based on what they say they need prayer for, these past ten days I have not known what to pray for or how they are doing and I find myself thinking about them more and feeling inadequate in my prayers for them.
-doing things the easy way, checking Facebook to find out if church is canceled, if the roads are bad, if school is delayed, if Zumba is on schedule, etc. , etc. Facebook has made it so easy to not have to actually call anyone or look anything up that now it seems like a chore to have to search for the info on my own...sad...but true
Things I have not missed:
-Friends, it is sad, but we tend to judge ourselves based on how many Facebook friends we have. I have over 200 "friends" on Facebook and yet only a handful that I actually see and talk to or correspond with. Any given status update I post may have a couple of comments or 10 or so likes out of all those friends. There are only a few who actually keep up with what is happening in my life and care to respond or talk. So many people say "well, I read and keep up with you, I just don't comment or say anything." to me that is not friendship. Friendship is about sharing life not just observing it; however, I am the same with a lot of my contacts as well. I don't comment or correspond with half the people I am friends with, so why do I keep them on my list? Would they notice if I took them off? Would I notice if they took me off of theirs? Most people don't really care if we are on Facebook or not, the people who are really our friends will see us or keep up with us anyway and the others will just move on, probably half of my list doesn't even know I am gone...sad....but true.
-drama, I have had issues lately with Facebook drama. I have family members and friends who are tied in with people that I am not friends with and it makes it very difficult when those who I am not friends with can see and interfere with what I post. Lately it has caused me to feel like I am in a hard place between wanting to share and post with family and yet being very careful and guarded about what I post and share with them. I have to tread lightly with my husband and his feelings about what is shared and not shared. He has unresolved feelings, and strong ones, about some people who are tied in to me through Facebook. You don't always realize how much of your past hurt and anger is still ingrained in the deepest parts of you until it is dredged up and thrown at you. It is not worth the stress and mess to me to drag up feelings and anger and stress for him that have not been a problem in our lives for the past 20 years and shouldn't be now, just because of Facebook. We live a no drama, low stress life and I intend to keep it that way.
-politics, I have in no way missed a single political posting. I am tired of them, they don't change anything, they don't prove anything, they serve no purpose other than keeping people debating, arguing and angry. I haven't heard or seen anything political in over a week and it has been wonderful.
-misguided quotes. I have not missed a single cute photo with a touching quote or life lesson, most of them are contributed to people who didn't actually say them and if you really love the people in your lives or at the other end of the sofa, can't you just look over the top of your laptop or phone and just tell them instead of posting mushy love quotes to them and 300 of your closest friends. This is just me, I am not mushy, don't take offense if you are a poster of cute sayings, if you love your children and your husband and generally like to post every life lesson you can find in sentence form with a tranquil beach behind it.. it is o.k., I am simply saying I haven't missed them on my wall.
So this has been a long post, mostly because life has been quiet here these last ten days, but a good quiet. Yes, I miss checking in with friends and laughing at everyone's cute children and funny life moments and I will be back I am sure. I have felt at times isolated and out of touch. My house is quiet during the day, but I have found that my time is spent so much more wisely. My house is clean, my laundry is done, I have finished memorizing the book of James, I have prayed on a regular schedule, I have cooked and crafted and played games with the girls, I have exercised and lost 5 pounds, I have read books and went to book club, I have e-mailed and talked on the phone, I have enjoyed sharing stories and funny things with my Mom before she has already heard it five times from everyone else. I have enjoyed sharing stories with Jason when he gets home from work that he hasn't already seen on Facebook.
Life without Facebook still goes on and it is good!
Now just a decade or so later, we are completely dependent on Internet, cellphones, GPS, and Google. We never open a book to find info, we just Google it, we never open a map we turn on the Tom Tom or open the latest map App. We never talk to someone and hear their voice, we just type a bunch of letters and symbols to send a message and we use fake cartoon faces to convey our moods, we think in short sentences and we hide behind our keyboards, we never make a photo album, we have everything stored on memory cards and DVD's, our children do cute things and ask us to put it on Facebook. We tell random strangers where we are eating and what we are doing. We show them every part of our lives from the exciting to the mundane and then we check back to see if they "like" what we put or if they commented on our cute child, our Pinterest worthy crafts, or our fabulous home cooked meal. Technology...an easier life.. a harder life. Technology is supposed to save us so much time and yet we find we have no time.
I read a blog about Lent and sacrifice and making things more important than God and I thought of Facebook for me, how much time I waste on it, how many times a day I peek at it, how much I dislike it sometimes, but yet still go back and look some more, and I decided that I would try life the old fashioned way...for 40 days... days that I would rediscover my life without status updates and photo documentation and drama and politics and all the other mess. I am now 10 days in and here is what I have found to be good and not so good about my life without Facebook.
Things I have missed:
-Friends, seeing what they are doing and keeping in touch.
-Prayer updates, I follow several peoples struggles and journeys with cancer, illness and troubles. I pray for them based on what they say they need prayer for, these past ten days I have not known what to pray for or how they are doing and I find myself thinking about them more and feeling inadequate in my prayers for them.
-doing things the easy way, checking Facebook to find out if church is canceled, if the roads are bad, if school is delayed, if Zumba is on schedule, etc. , etc. Facebook has made it so easy to not have to actually call anyone or look anything up that now it seems like a chore to have to search for the info on my own...sad...but true
Things I have not missed:
-Friends, it is sad, but we tend to judge ourselves based on how many Facebook friends we have. I have over 200 "friends" on Facebook and yet only a handful that I actually see and talk to or correspond with. Any given status update I post may have a couple of comments or 10 or so likes out of all those friends. There are only a few who actually keep up with what is happening in my life and care to respond or talk. So many people say "well, I read and keep up with you, I just don't comment or say anything." to me that is not friendship. Friendship is about sharing life not just observing it; however, I am the same with a lot of my contacts as well. I don't comment or correspond with half the people I am friends with, so why do I keep them on my list? Would they notice if I took them off? Would I notice if they took me off of theirs? Most people don't really care if we are on Facebook or not, the people who are really our friends will see us or keep up with us anyway and the others will just move on, probably half of my list doesn't even know I am gone...sad....but true.
-drama, I have had issues lately with Facebook drama. I have family members and friends who are tied in with people that I am not friends with and it makes it very difficult when those who I am not friends with can see and interfere with what I post. Lately it has caused me to feel like I am in a hard place between wanting to share and post with family and yet being very careful and guarded about what I post and share with them. I have to tread lightly with my husband and his feelings about what is shared and not shared. He has unresolved feelings, and strong ones, about some people who are tied in to me through Facebook. You don't always realize how much of your past hurt and anger is still ingrained in the deepest parts of you until it is dredged up and thrown at you. It is not worth the stress and mess to me to drag up feelings and anger and stress for him that have not been a problem in our lives for the past 20 years and shouldn't be now, just because of Facebook. We live a no drama, low stress life and I intend to keep it that way.
-politics, I have in no way missed a single political posting. I am tired of them, they don't change anything, they don't prove anything, they serve no purpose other than keeping people debating, arguing and angry. I haven't heard or seen anything political in over a week and it has been wonderful.
-misguided quotes. I have not missed a single cute photo with a touching quote or life lesson, most of them are contributed to people who didn't actually say them and if you really love the people in your lives or at the other end of the sofa, can't you just look over the top of your laptop or phone and just tell them instead of posting mushy love quotes to them and 300 of your closest friends. This is just me, I am not mushy, don't take offense if you are a poster of cute sayings, if you love your children and your husband and generally like to post every life lesson you can find in sentence form with a tranquil beach behind it.. it is o.k., I am simply saying I haven't missed them on my wall.
So this has been a long post, mostly because life has been quiet here these last ten days, but a good quiet. Yes, I miss checking in with friends and laughing at everyone's cute children and funny life moments and I will be back I am sure. I have felt at times isolated and out of touch. My house is quiet during the day, but I have found that my time is spent so much more wisely. My house is clean, my laundry is done, I have finished memorizing the book of James, I have prayed on a regular schedule, I have cooked and crafted and played games with the girls, I have exercised and lost 5 pounds, I have read books and went to book club, I have e-mailed and talked on the phone, I have enjoyed sharing stories and funny things with my Mom before she has already heard it five times from everyone else. I have enjoyed sharing stories with Jason when he gets home from work that he hasn't already seen on Facebook.
Life without Facebook still goes on and it is good!
Posted by
Victoria
comments (0)
"Happy Valentine's Day" my children told me at Breakfast. I had almost forgotten that today was the day. The middle of the week, school calling, rushing, dressing, eating, brushing hair, not thinking to much about love and hugs and kisses until it is time to run to the car and wave them off to school. The morning rush puts a damper on love and gifts and Valentines. I gave them hugs and kisses and said "I love You" as they headed out the door in their pink shirts covered in hearts. " Happy day of Love" my youngest shouted as they pulled out of the driveway. I came in and sat down and pulled out their little gift bags full of stickers and books and teddy bears and thought about how much Valentine's Day has changed for me. I have so much to be thankful for, so much love in our home, in our hearts...in my life.
Everyday is a day to show our love, not just Valentine's day, but I do love this holiday. I love heart shaped toast for breakfast, chocolate hearts and pink peep candy. I love the little paper Valentines the girls bring home and the extra hugs and kisses that I get all day long. It is a day to remember what is important in life, our families, our friends , our God and our love. "We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19. God created us to love Him, he filled us with love and He demonstrated His love for us in that while we were still sinners He sent His son to die for us, He showed us the most perfect form of love so that we could love others and share that gift of love He gave us with them. I Love love....
My first Valentine's Day with Jason was spent sitting on his porch ( he was grounded...haha) I wasn't supposed to be there but he had called and said his parents were gone for a while and I should come over and... well? What was I supposed to do... teenage love is a complicated thing. I had not thought I would see him so I had bought a basket of chocolate and had it delivered... I am sure he was totally embarrassed, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Now here we were sitting the porch, two young teenagers, not sure what to say or do... he gave me three roses for the three words " I love you" and a card. We were nervous and awkward and embarrassed. He wasn't exactly a "love-showing" kind of guy and I was not a really mushy romance girl so we just sat there and mumbled I Love You and thanks and then his Mom pulled in the driveway and caught us there... Love left quickly as fear kicked in. I remember the look we got and the voice that had me running to my car and leaving without even a goodbye, I also remember laughing all the way home with butterflies in my stomach...first love.
A few years later, we went to a fancy restaurant all dressed up and pretending like we knew what we were doing, we even paid for valet parking and then laughed as we sipped our Tea and tried to figure out how not to embarrass ourselves. No more awkwardness or nerves just laughter and fun... comfortable love.
Years went by and the Valentine's days of married life became movie nights, home cooked meals and dates at the Mall, holding hands, and spending time together... lasting love.
Now here we sit 23 years later and Valentine's Day has become heart stickers, colored paper hearts with misspelled love words, candy hearts and sweet hugs and kisses. Today Jason and I went to Olive Garden for lunch, we talked and laughed and enjoyed a simple lunch hour together. Later we had a Valentine scavenger hunt for the girls ending with coloring books and light up heart balls. A smile on their faces, a smile in our hearts. While Jason and I shared a huge chocolate Hershey kiss, I thought about how far life has come, how much our love has grown, first it was us, now it includes two little girls who love to love, who light up when you hug them, who squeal with delight over a note in their lunch box and a pixie stick in their book bag... girls who have their Daddy's hair and their Mommy's laughter, a little piece of both of us, a product of our love, created by God to give love back to Him and others. "We love because He first loved us".... Our hearts just keep growing and keep loving, no matter how long we live, no matter how big or small our families are, whether we have a lot of people to love or just a few... we just keep loving, because He loved us and He put that love in us and around us and it comes through us and flows out of us, it isn't always easy and it takes work sometimes, but it is always there if we choose it, not just one day a year, but everyday.....true love.
1 John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.
Everyday is a day to show our love, not just Valentine's day, but I do love this holiday. I love heart shaped toast for breakfast, chocolate hearts and pink peep candy. I love the little paper Valentines the girls bring home and the extra hugs and kisses that I get all day long. It is a day to remember what is important in life, our families, our friends , our God and our love. "We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19. God created us to love Him, he filled us with love and He demonstrated His love for us in that while we were still sinners He sent His son to die for us, He showed us the most perfect form of love so that we could love others and share that gift of love He gave us with them. I Love love....
My first Valentine's Day with Jason was spent sitting on his porch ( he was grounded...haha) I wasn't supposed to be there but he had called and said his parents were gone for a while and I should come over and... well? What was I supposed to do... teenage love is a complicated thing. I had not thought I would see him so I had bought a basket of chocolate and had it delivered... I am sure he was totally embarrassed, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Now here we were sitting the porch, two young teenagers, not sure what to say or do... he gave me three roses for the three words " I love you" and a card. We were nervous and awkward and embarrassed. He wasn't exactly a "love-showing" kind of guy and I was not a really mushy romance girl so we just sat there and mumbled I Love You and thanks and then his Mom pulled in the driveway and caught us there... Love left quickly as fear kicked in. I remember the look we got and the voice that had me running to my car and leaving without even a goodbye, I also remember laughing all the way home with butterflies in my stomach...first love.
A few years later, we went to a fancy restaurant all dressed up and pretending like we knew what we were doing, we even paid for valet parking and then laughed as we sipped our Tea and tried to figure out how not to embarrass ourselves. No more awkwardness or nerves just laughter and fun... comfortable love.
Years went by and the Valentine's days of married life became movie nights, home cooked meals and dates at the Mall, holding hands, and spending time together... lasting love.
Now here we sit 23 years later and Valentine's Day has become heart stickers, colored paper hearts with misspelled love words, candy hearts and sweet hugs and kisses. Today Jason and I went to Olive Garden for lunch, we talked and laughed and enjoyed a simple lunch hour together. Later we had a Valentine scavenger hunt for the girls ending with coloring books and light up heart balls. A smile on their faces, a smile in our hearts. While Jason and I shared a huge chocolate Hershey kiss, I thought about how far life has come, how much our love has grown, first it was us, now it includes two little girls who love to love, who light up when you hug them, who squeal with delight over a note in their lunch box and a pixie stick in their book bag... girls who have their Daddy's hair and their Mommy's laughter, a little piece of both of us, a product of our love, created by God to give love back to Him and others. "We love because He first loved us".... Our hearts just keep growing and keep loving, no matter how long we live, no matter how big or small our families are, whether we have a lot of people to love or just a few... we just keep loving, because He loved us and He put that love in us and around us and it comes through us and flows out of us, it isn't always easy and it takes work sometimes, but it is always there if we choose it, not just one day a year, but everyday.....true love.
1 John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.
